Lift You Up (Rivers Brothers 1)

How else would you learn?

What other deterrent could a gambling addict have to keep them from trying again other than gross bodily harm?

"I thought I got away with it," he admitted. "Walked away with a big pot. No one seemed any wiser. In fact, got some pats on the back from these men and women - powerful men and women, it felt good, I won't lie - for finally winning after such a losing streak. I mean, it wasn't like they'd miss the money. I didn't feel bad or anything about it. These people are worth millions. They play with hundreds and thousands like they're quarters or dollars. It didn't hurt their bottom line. But, I figured, I could put it to good use."

"You expect me to believe you were going to do something unselfish with it?"

"I get you think I'm slime. I think that about myself enough to recognize when someone else is doing it. And I get that I earned that in a lot of ways. But I was trying. To do some good. To fix some wrongs."

"What wrongs?"

"I took the cash to pay off the mortgage I took out on the store after Pops died. He'd have fucking climbed out of his grave if it were possible just to beat my ass with a belt about doing that. His pride and joy. His legacy. He didn't mean for me to have it, you know."

"He wanted to leave it to Savvy."

"Yeah. Guess I was bitter about that sometimes. He loved Savvs. Like a daughter. Like the kid, the heir, I could never be to him. Always a fuck up. Always a disappointment. But she was right there, young, eager, all gaga over all the animals. Except the fucking tarantulas. Whenever she could, she pawned them off on Pops or one of the part-time kids. Hated them. But everything else? She loved them. Cared for them like thousands of her little kids. Picked up the knowledge my father spewed at her like a sponge, eventually, I think, surpassing him even. Something that made him want to leave the store to her, give her a future her parents never even tried to, let her have something she clearly loved as much as he did his whole life. He meant for her to have it."

"So why didn't you give it to her?"

To that, he snorted. "Because I'm a bastard. Because I was selfish and short-sighted. Because I was angry my father never loved me as much as he loved this girl he wasn't related to."

"Maybe he loved her because she let him," I offered, shrugging. "While you were too busy pushing him away."

"Can't say you're wrong. Or that it is possible not to love Savvy. Even a little bit. As resentful as I was of her sometimes when Pops would clap her on the shoulder or nudge her conspiratorially, it was hard not to like the kid. She had a good heart. She gave pieces of it to every animal - and well-intentioned pet parent - that came in the store. Somehow never running out of pieces. I get it. And after the sting of his passing wore away and I saw what damage I had done by mortgaging it out when it was paid off, what it could mean to the store, his legacy, her future, I tried to make it right. I paid it off."

"Except they found you out."

"They found me out."

"And the money was gone."

"No way was the mortgage company going to give it back."

"How much was it?"

To that, he snorted.

"One-eighty."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"How long did they give you to get it back?"

"Twelve weeks."

Maybe this Eamon guy was used to his usual clientele, these people who could buy boats just to use them once to impress their friends with a party. Who had enough designer shit in their closets to feed a family of four for a year. Or more.

You couldn't give an average Joe on the streets twelve weeks to come up with that kind of capital.

Maybe he had some shit to sell. Good enough credit to get a loan. But that all took time.

And as much as I wished I could say I had one-eighty to spare, I simply didn't. One day, I hoped I would. But that day was not today. When Savvy needed it most.

I'd never envied wealthy men before, having come from somewhat humble beginnings, not having a taste for fancy things myself. I always wanted to be comfortable, able to handle my bills without worrying. And I had that.

But right there in that car with the life of a woman I cared about in the balance, I wished I had a taste for that wild ambition. I wished I had been less willing to take on cases on a slanted scale to help those who didn't have as much money as some of my other clients. I wish I had invested money in smart stocks, made a fortune while I slept.