Forever Pucked (Pucked 4)

Alex says he’s captain material. Alex might be more graceful, but he has to work a lot harder to keep up than he used to. And it’s easy to talk about what he wants to do when he’s done playing, but the reality is a lot tougher to take. He’s getting loads of endorsements, and has a few more years with Chicago, but after that, well, there’s never a guarantee they’ll renew, or that he’ll have many more seasons on the ice.

I think that’s part of the reason he’s pushing so hard for a wedding. He wants something to look forward to. He wants security and to feel settled because his hockey trajectory is changing. That’s the difficult thing about hockey; it’s a short career—hard on the body and the ego.

Alex pats Randy on the shoulder when they pass each other. Randy’s smile is huge, as is Lily’s when she turns to say something to Sunny.

The goal is great for Chicago, helping carry them through until the end of the second period. Unfortunately, Toronto manages another goal while Alex is on the ice at the beginning of the third, tying the game again.

His frustration with himself is obvious as he trades off with Randy. This time Randy doesn’t score either. I’m not sure whether this is good or bad. Chicago really needs the win. With three minutes left in the game, Alex returns.

He gains control of the puck right away, flying down the ice with singular focus. He wants this so badly; it’s painful to watch. He skates around the players, shifting the puck as he goes. He’s so absorbed in getting close to the net, he doesn’t see Cockburn coming at him from the right.

The guys were talking about him the other day. He and Lance are fighting for the top spot in the league for number of penalties and most fights. He makes Alex look like a saint. He’s also huge.

Alex sees him as he gets within shooting range, but Toronto defense is on it, blocking his shot. He passes to Darren, and switches course, skating behind the net.

That’s when it happens. Cockburn hooks Alex’s skate and rams him from behind, sending him head first into the boards.

The crack echoes through the arena. I’m out of my seat before Alex hits the ice. My beer slips from my fingers, and the contents splash over my legs. The roar of the crowd is deafening. Rage expands and consumes the Chicago fans, blanketing the arena in an explosive outcry. And I scream right along with them.

Darren drops his stick and skates to Alex as a ref does the same.

He’s not moving.

Alex isn’t moving.

And still I scream. Like I’m on fire. Like the world is ending. Like I’ve gone insane. I jump and grab for the edge of the plexiglas barrier that prevents me from getting to him. I’m too short. It doesn’t mean I don’t keep trying.

People converge on Alex like metal to a magnet until I can’t see him anymore. Then Randy jumps the boards, stickless. He and Buck skate away from Alex. I don’t understand why, until I follow their path to mayhem incarnate.

Lance has Cockburn on the ice, and he’s beating the living shit out of him. When he brings his fist up, it’s a blur of red. Vibrant splatters dot the ice. Buck catches his fist on the next upswing, and Randy grabs Lance around the waist, hauling him off. Cockburn’s face is covered in blood. He might spit out teeth as he rolls to his side.

I want to feel something other than vicious gratitude for Lance’s aggression, but I can’t.

When Lance tries to go for Randy, Randy gets him down on the ice and holds him there with his forearm on the back of his neck. They knock helmets. It reminds me of fighting bulls with horns clashing, except it’s helmets and hockey instead. All of this takes no more than a few seconds.

I’m still screaming and trying to scale the barrier when an arm clamps around my waist. “Put me down! He’s not moving! I can’t see him! I need him!” My words come out in a stream of nonsense through my blubbering.

“Calm down, Violet.” Sidney’s deep voice is loud in my ear. “Calm down. We need to go, and we can’t do that if you’re melting down.”

“Vi, honey, we need to go now,” my mom says gently, but firmly.

I stop fighting and screaming, realizing they’re right. I can’t get to him this way. We have to go around. I’m too panicked to do anything but take Charlene’s and my mom’s offered arms.

I need to get to Alex.

My stomach feels like the contents are at risk of reappearing. Sidney leads the way, and I stumble along behind him. I’m not really carrying my own weight. It’s my mom and Charlene who are managing.