Ritual - Palm South University

“My mom is back.”

I blanch, because that was the absolute last thing I was expecting him to say. “Back? As in…”

“As in, she messaged Clayton on Facebook a couple weeks ago, and I told him not to answer until I talked to her.”

“And did you?”

He nods, just once, barely visible.

I swallow. “What did she say?”

“I asked her what the hell she was doing messaging Clayton, and told her if she was looking for more money to piss the fuck off.”

“Fair,” I say, but I reach for his hand, squeezing it in my own because I know this kind of callousness doesn’t come from my best friend unless he was really, really hurt.

“She said she just wanted to talk, to catch up. She’s back in Pittsburgh.”

“Shit…”

“I told her to stay away from Clayton. At least, until I can see her and make sure she’s clean.”

“What’d she say to that?”

Bear finally looks at me then. “She booked me a plane ticket home.”

At that, my jaw hinges open. “She… like, she paid for it?”

He nods. “I’m going the weekend before Halloween.”

A long silence passes between us, and I watch him, searching his eyes for some sort of clue as to what he feels about all of it.

“Want me to go with you?”

He shakes his head immediately. “I need to do this on my own.”

“Okay,” I whisper. “So… this just happened a couple weeks ago?”

He nods.

“Then… what’s been going on before this? You haven’t been yourself all summer, all fall semester.”

Clinton’s jaw ticks, but before he can answer me, his eyes shift to something behind me, and he stands.

I turn, finding my Big standing in the frame of his bedroom door.

Erin is completely put together, as she always is, with a Lily Pulitzer dress and matching bow in her hair. But aside from her perfect makeup and outfit, there’s something off about her, too. There has been ever since she betrayed me at Spring Break last year.

But whereas I’ve felt a calling to find out what’s wrong with Bear, I haven’t felt anything toward Erin.

Other than the urge to stay away from her.

Her big, brown eyes are locked on Bear, and when I look up at him, he’s staring right back at her. Erin’s hands are folded in front of her, and she picks at her nails, but Bear just stands stoic, unflinching, his jaw still hard set from our conversation.

I finally clear my throat, addressing Erin. “Uh… what’s up?”

Erin blinks, as if I’ve woken her from a daze, and then her eyes find mine. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

She says the words to me, but her eyes move to Bear’s again, and I can’t help but feel whatever weird tension is going on between them. I know they were friends before last semester, but I also know that Bear lit her ass up after what she did to me and Kip. I had no idea if they’d ever worked through it.

Judging by the way they’re acting now, I’d say it’s a big fat nope.

“Um, sure,” I answer, standing. I turn, giving Bear a big hug and assuring him I’ll text later before I make my way to where Erin is.

She and Bear don’t exchange a single word.

When we’re out of the Omega Chi house and on Greek Row, Erin takes a deep breath, like she’d been stuck on an exhale the entire time we were inside.

“Thank you for talking to me,” she starts.

I nod, and for a few steps we’re both quiet, other than the clicking of her kitten heels and my sandals on the sidewalk.

“I know things aren’t going to get better overnight,” she says after a while. “Between us. I know I royally screwed up. I betrayed you, asked you to do something… horrid,” she whispers, shaking her head. “And then I went full-on crazy and you were in the line of fire.”

My nose flares, but I tell myself to listen, to be open to what she has to say.

“But,” she continues. “I’ve been going to therapy for months now, and something I’m really trying to do is make amends with the people I’ve hurt.”

Her expression morphs then, her brows folding together as she casts a glance back at the Omega Chi house. Then, she lets out a long sigh.

“Last semester, when I apologized, it wasn’t sincere. I know that now, looking back. I tried to blame you, too — to make it somehow partly your fault that I did what I did to you.”

She stops walking, waiting for me to face her, and it’s such an interesting sight to behold — this perfectly put-together girl falling apart on Greek Row on a sunny, South Florida day.

“I am so sorry, Sky. Truly,” she whispers, her bottom lip quivering. “I’m sorry I asked you to lure Kip in for me, that I manipulated you with the presidency, that I turned on you in front of everyone we know.” She chokes on a sob, shaking her head and covering her mouth. “I am truly ashamed. I was in a very, very dark place, but that does not excuse what I did to you. And I hope we can start over, from this moment on. And I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope one day we can have a friendship again.”