Ritual - Palm South University

Kade drops down beside me, still panting, one hand resting on his chest and the other reaching over to rest on my knee.

“Jess?”

“Mm?” I ask, brushing my hair back from my face.

When I creak my eyelids open, he’s there balanced above me, something unreadable in his dark eyes.

“I think you’re hotter than I’ve ever fucking seen you right now.”

His eyes sweep over me, and a blush shades my cheeks as I cover my face with my hands. It’s seven o’clock in the morning and I haven’t even brushed my hair, let alone put on a stitch of makeup. I was just horny when I woke up and couldn’t wait.

Usually, I dress up in lingerie for this prick — mostly because I like to boss him around in the bed and make him feel like I’m his Dom.

But this morning, he took control.

And now, he’s got my stomach riding on the wings of butterflies with his stupid, too-nice-for-a-fuck-buddy comment.

I shove him away playfully with a roll of my eyes. “Whatever.”

Kade laughs, tucking his hands under his head with his gaze on the ceiling. “You should have seen your face, getting all goopy-eyed over that romantic comment.”

“You wish.”

“Deny it all you want, J-Love,” he teases, glancing at me with an arched brow. “But you know damn well that was an A+ move.”

I don’t deny it, but I definitely don’t confirm it, either. Kade waits for a moment before giving up with a chuckle, rolling over and grabbing his phone off his nightstand.

“I feel like a Skywalker, conquering the Force.”

I snort, but Kade just sits there with that doofus smile, flipping through his texts.

“Might have to pull out all the tricks I’ve learned on some unsuspecting hottie at the Halloween party next week.”

My stomach takes a deep dive off the bed, and my eyes shoot open, throat constricting. I attempt a swallow but come up empty, and then I’m pissed at my body for betraying me, for being affected by what he said when clearly we shouldn’t be.

I can almost see it — my brain putting her hands on her hips, glaring at my body like Bitch, what the hell is wrong with you?

But even as I sit there and convince myself I shouldn’t feel the way I do after Kade’s little comment, the feeling only sinks in deeper, and I press a hand to my chest, forcing a swallow.

Wait — am I annoyed?

Am I… jealous?

I frown at the thought, because why the hell would I be jealous that Kade wants to hook up with some chick at the Halloween party next weekend? It’s not like we’re dating. It’s not like we’re even close to that. We had a deal — I teach him how to have some fucking game, and he gets me off and lets me drive his car.

Plain and simple.

Except when I turn and see his goofy smile on his face, and another girl’s name on his phone screen, my chest tightens, body betraying me once more.

Maybe it’s not so simple, after all.SITTING IN MR. AND Mrs. Harrison’s backyard in Franklin Park, it’s all I can do to keep my mouth shut and drink my beer while everyone else around me talks and laughs like everything is just peachy keen.

It’s a perfect fall day, the bright blue sky virtually cloudless and letting the sun warm us where we sit around the small bonfire Mac’s dad built. It’s just cool enough to need the fire, and a light sweater, but not so cold that we need to bundle up or that we can’t be outside enjoying the evening. I can’t help but compare it to the hot and humid October day I left behind in South Florida when I got on the plane that took me back home just a couple days go, and perhaps what guts me is I don’t know which one feels like home.

Honestly, neither really does anymore.

I’ve spent the weekend with my little brother, watching him dominate at his home football game Friday night, and then eating our way around Pittsburgh all day yesterday. It was the closest I’ve felt to myself since the day Erin told me about our unborn child, but I woke this morning with the same numbness, the same dread swimming in my stomach.

Because we were going to see our mother for the first time in two years.

I’d reached out to her after Mac told me she was online again, and she asked to see us both. She wanted to explain, wanted to spend time with us, show us how much she’d changed. And while everything inside me wanted to scream at her to go fuck herself all the way off, I knew what my little brother wanted more than anything in the world was a relationship with at least one of his parents.