The Dating Lesson

My eyes flutter closed when he dips his fingers inside of me. He pumps his finger inside me, just to the second knuckle, and even though it’s slow and soft, I feel full and wonderful. With every stroke of his finger it’s like he’s activating a launch code in my body. I feel boneless and euphoric and yet, at the same time, I’m on edge and electric. How is this feeling even real? I’ve been touched before. I’ve touched myself before, plenty of times. I’m not exactly on the same level as Brenna when it comes to sexual experience, but I’m not a virgin either. Yet being with Leo is like being touched for the first time. It’s like that old Madonna song, Like a Virgin, and girl, I get it now. The only thing that exists in my universe right now is this. His finger, sliding in and out of me, the growing need between my legs, his silky hair in between my fingers.

His voice snaps me out of my reverie.

“Look at me,” he demands.

My eyes snap open and I look him in the eye as he commands me to. He has the most beautiful shade of green eyes I’ve ever seen with flecks of gold and brown. They are the color of late spring, of tranquil ponds and churning oceans. A silly thought pops into my head so suddenly that I don’t have time yet to realize the absurdity of it. I think, “I hope our future children have his eyes.” It’s crazy, I know, but somehow, I’ve let the thought of a future with this man sneak past the barbed wires of the walls I’ve put up. Break through any reason I had, any self-control.

I try to shake away the thought, but then others follow it so fast I can’t stop them, a prison break of ideas that I would never entertain if I were in my right mind. I imagine us married. A wedding on a beach, or maybe in a really cool old library—yes, that’s it. That’s so us. Surrounded by books and knowledge, and our loved ones. I picture my father walking me down the aisle and my brother as one of the groomsmen …

Leo moves his fingers in a way that turns my knees to jelly and my eyes start to flutter closed again, and all other thoughts slip away. I’m focused only on my body again and not these crazy visions of a future that could never happen.

“No. Keep them on me,” Leo says.

I force myself to keep my eyes open. Looking at him while I’m being fingered isn’t hard to do … until it is. I mean, he’s gorgeous, and if ever there was a face I want to watch while nearing orgasm, it’s his, but it’s hard to keep my eyes open when I’m so close.

His fingers are magic, and my body responds with moans and contracting muscles, but I force my eyes to stay locked on his. God, he’s beautiful. Those little dimples in his cheeks I never noticed before, the scar on his lip, are all little perfections I notice on his face. That’s a face a girl could easily fall in love with. It’s the kind of face you imagine having future children with, the kind where your DNA screams to procreate with.

My mind continues to go to ridiculous places and being unable to close my eyes makes it take me longer to come. Usually I close my eyes and focus on that wonderful feeling and my body just responds. But having to look someone in the eyes, my mind is all over the place. Until it happens. My orgasm is imminent. I can feel it coming. But instead of a speeding train, it’s a leisurely trip down a country road. Our eyes locked together, and the growing feeling between my legs spreads, until my whole body is humming. Leo is nodding his head, ever so slightly, urging me on.

When he adds a second finger into me, filling me up, I know I’m at the point of no return. His thumb now grazes my clit, matching its movements to his fingers pumping inside me. I grab the sink next to me, making sure I don’t move an inch and accidentally change his hand’s position in my panties. I want this now. I need this now. And then, like a waterfall, my orgasm rushes over me. My entire body releases and I’m in a freefall. I throw my head back and moan. Not too loudly, I do have some sense left to remember where I am. There are dozens of students just feet away. He smiles and kisses me as my body clinches and spasms around his fingers. He keeps them there until I’m spent and wasted, my body in a state of complete relaxation leaning against the wall.