The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless 6)

Dr. Collins kept his eyes on Derek. “You found the problem and raised your concerns to every person possible. It doesn’t matter if you built the rocket. You did everything in your power to stop it. It’s an industry with a lot of risks, and when someone who actually designed the rocket has concerns and you fail to listen, then you aren’t taking your job seriously. The astronauts were warned but chose to risk it anyway. The only person to blame is the director, who could have paused the launch to investigate your claims. Dr. Hamilton, this isn’t your fault, and I’m not saying that because you’re paying me to. It’s easier said than done, but you should let it go. You’re carrying the weight of the dead, a weight that belongs on someone else’s shoulders.”

Derek stayed quiet, his body pivoted away so he didn’t have to look at either of us.

“You may have built the rocket, but you also found the error. If someone else had taken your claims seriously, all of this would have been avoided. That’s concrete fact, Dr. Hamilton. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by those memories, remind yourself of what actually happened rather than your emotional response to that tragic day. You did everything you could to stop it, lost your job over it, and that didn’t stop you from trying. If you ask me, you did a lot more than most people would dare.”I walked Dr. Collins to the elevator. “Thank you for coming by. I think it made him a lot more comfortable having this conversation in his own home.”

“I don’t mind. Whatever gets the patient to talk.” He hit the button and waited for the elevator to return to our floor. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you two romantically involved?”

The question surprised me, and I needed to take a few seconds to digest it. “No. Why?”

He shrugged. “It just seems like the two of you have a deep connection. Based on our conversation, he doesn’t let anyone in, but he’s let you through every single barrier. I assumed that meant something.”

Shrinks were known to analyze everything you did, and that kind of bit me in the ass. “When you work together all day, every day, it’s natural to feel close to someone. When I first started to work for him, he wouldn’t allow me to do anything, and he was always hostile. But in time…I earned his respect.”

“If he’s so distrusting, why did he hire you in the first place?”

“His previous assistant kind of forced it.”

He nodded and turned back to the elevator doors. “I think I can help him. I look forward to seeing him again.” The doors opened, and he stepped inside.

“Thank you, Dr. Collins.” After I said goodbye, I headed back to the penthouse.

Derek was still on the couch, in the exact same position, his cheek against his closed knuckles.

I got him a beer from the fridge and brought it to him.

He eyed the bottle for a moment before bringing it to his lips and taking a drink.

I sat on the couch beside him, sitting closer than I was before. I wasn’t sure if I should just leave and give him space, or if it was better to sit with him so he could relax after the intense conversation he’d had.

He took another drink then stared straight ahead, at the painting of the black horse on the wall.

My hands came together on my lap. “You did great today.”

He set the beer on the end table then turned to me, his dark eyes displaying a look he’d never had before. He wasn’t angry or happy. He was something else entirely. Without blinking, he stared at me.

“I hope you’ll continue to see him.”

There was no verbal response, just a slight nod.

A part of me had been afraid the whole thing would blow up in my face. There was something about Dr. Collins that registered with Derek, maybe his straightforward speech, because Derek was the exact same way. He chose to speak in unequivocal terms rather than emotional ones.

After a quiet breath, Derek continued to stare at me. It was the first time I didn’t know what he wanted, what his thoughts were. That intense look on his face hid all the thoughts underneath. He pivoted his body slightly toward me, his arm moving over the back of the couch.

My pulse started to quicken in my wrists and my neck, because something was different about the intensity of the room, something that put me on edge and made me almost forget to breathe. It was an inexplicable sensation, like I needed to wrap my entire body around him and squeeze him, not to comfort him, but to comfort myself. His heartbreak gave me heartbreak, infectious like a disease.

He stared at me like that all the time, but this time, it felt different.