The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless 6)

“You’re left-handed…I never noticed that before. But why are you writing like that?” He never turned his papers sideways when he did his work in the lab. He obviously didn’t do that on the whiteboard either.

“I’ll smudge the ink.” He stared at the blank page for a while, like he was thinking of what to say.

I went quiet so he could focus.

His pen didn’t hit the paper.

I looked at my phone so he wouldn’t feel on display.

Then he capped the pen and closed the book, even though he hadn’t written anything. “I just need some time.”

I turned back to him and watched him stack the books before sliding them to the side.

“I know you don’t sign books often…if ever. If you don’t feel comfortable, you aren’t obligated—”

“That’s not why. I just…want to take some time to make sure it’s right.” He stared at the books, his chin slightly down.

I stared at his handsome face for a while, seeing the emotion in his eyes, the way the gesture touched him. As time went on, he became more vulnerable with me, showing me a spectrum of different colors that started to shine through brighter. There was more to him than his dark exterior, like his soul was a diamond…and a prism of color.

He cleared his throat before he turned back to me, like the moment had dissipated.

“There’s another reason why I’m here.”

His eyes narrowed slightly on my face, becoming intense all over again.

“So, I talked to Mark…”

His face immediately slackened into disappointment, as if he’d been hoping I’d say something else.

“They want you to do some press for this book. You know, book signings, interviews…stuff like that.”

He slowly turned hostile, just as I expected. “I don’t do that.”

“I know…but they say since you took so long with the manuscript, they’ve lost traction on sales and there were a lot of complaints from readers and retailers. They need to do some damage control, get people interested in this story again. Since I’ve already edited the story, I know they’re going to release this much sooner than normal. Having you do these things will make people forget how long they had to wait and focus their energy by getting them excited for the next installment.”

His eyes shifted away. “No.”

“Derek—”

“I told them I don’t do this. I’m sorry the book was late, that was my fault, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do this in atonement. It’ll be obvious I don’t want to be there, and instead of getting people excited about it, they’re just going to think I’m an asshole—which is fair, because I am.”

“You are not an asshole, Derek.”

“I disagree.”

“It won’t be as bad as you think it will be.”

He looked away.

“I will be with you the entire time.”

“But I’ll be the one who has to sign the books. I’ll be the one who has to answer the questions.”

“I’ll prep you for it.”

He sighed loudly.

“I know, without a doubt, that you can do this. It won’t be as bad as you think it will be. You’re uncomfortable because it’s a situation you can’t control and that makes you uneasy, but the room will be filled with energy and excitement. It’ll be fun.”

He still wouldn’t look at me.

“Derek—”

“I’m a writer. I finished the book. My job is done. That’s why I have a publisher, because it’s their job to market this thing—not mine.”

“But just remember that your fans adore you, and it would mean the world to them if they could have their books signed. How about we commit to just one book signing, and we’ll see how you feel about it before scheduling anything else?”

“At the end of the day, they can’t force me to do anything.”

“No…they can’t.”

He crossed his arms over his chest.

“But think about what it would mean to your fans, Derek.”

“You met me and realized I was this huge asshole. I’m sure that ruined it for you.”

“You are not an asshole. Stop calling yourself that because it’s untrue. You’re the most inspirational person I’ve ever met. Yes, you didn’t make a good first impression, but you just…were in a dark place at the time.”

He turned his head slightly back to me, his temper subdued.

“You’re not in that place anymore.” I didn’t know all the reasons he’d become this broken, haunted man, but I knew he was slowly moving away from his past and coming into the light again. There was far more good than bad. “You’re slowly showing more of yourself, dropping your guard, releasing your paranoia, and the man underneath that…is remarkable. Let them see that. Let everyone see that.”

He stared…for a long time. “You’re the only person who’s seen me. You’re the only person I’ve allowed to see me. Because you’re the only person who’s earned it.”

Now all I could do was stare because it was the most profound thing he’d ever said to me. I was left speechless because it was the most profound thing I’d ever heard anyone say.