The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless 6)

He held my gaze, absolutely still.

A part of me hoped he would feel differently about Lizzie, that he would say he was willing to be present for both of us, but those words never left his lips. He held the silence and proved me right, that he had no interest in having any kind of parental relationship with my daughter.

I hid my disappointment, but I wasn’t sure if I could hide my broken heart. All I had shared with this man was a kiss, but I felt like I’d already given myself to him completely.

He stared at the floor for a while before he met my look again. “I still don’t want you to leave.”

“I already got another job…”

Now, he looked even more pained, probably because it dawned on him how much he’d driven me away. “Don’t take it.”

I shook my head. “Too late.”

He held my gaze, his eyes full of fear. “I know I fucked up, but it won’t happen again. I need you, Emerson. I can’t let you go.”

The sincerity in his voice made me drop my gaze. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to work together anyway…because of everything that’s happened.” He knew how I felt about him, and I knew how he felt about me. Nothing was different now. I had kissed him, and I thought about that kiss over and over because it was so damn good.

“We can be professional. We can be friends. You made my life so much easier, but that’s not the only reason I want you to stay. You’re such an essential person in my life, and I can’t imagine not having you in it. Please, Emerson. You make me happy…”

He was becoming impossible to resist.

“Please.”

I couldn’t turn him down when he spoke to me like that, when he showed the kind of vulnerability he never showed anyone else. It would be hard to work with him every day and not want him, but the money was such a blessing to my family, and when the two of us got along, it made my job really fulfilling. I knew I was the only person who could work for him, who would get everything right, who wouldn’t take advantage of him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I was the best thing that had happened to him. “Okay…”

He gave a slight nod, relief in his eyes. “I really am sorry about my behavior. I don’t know what came over me.” He rubbed the back of his neck again. “But that’s not how you should treat a friend, especially your closest friend.”TwelveDerekI passed between two girls in bikinis who were talking and holding their glasses of champagne, their hoop earrings reflecting a bit of light from the cabin of the yacht. The music pressed against my eardrums, and it was so warm that I needed to step outside and get a breath of fresh air.

I rested my arms on the rail and looked at Manhattan, feeling the slight rise and fall of the yacht over the subdued waves. It was a little cool that evening since fall was enveloping the city. I swirled my glass, making the cubes tumble, before I brought it to my lips for a drink.

I was alone for a few minutes before someone joined me.

“You never come out anymore, and when you do, you look like you want to leave.” Ryan came to my side, holding a beer in his hand.

If I could leave, I would. But I was trapped on this goddamn boat. “How’s Camille?”

“Fangirling.” He chuckled. “She’s been looking forward to this all week.”

Through mutual friends, we knew an A-list actor and got invited to this party on the water where the paparazzi wouldn’t follow us. “Good for her.”

“I’ll be holding her hair back all night, but I’ll fuck her in the morning.” He grinned then looked across the water at the buildings in the distance.

I heard the smile in his voice, the way he loved one woman so deeply. Despite the bars we hit, all the nightclubs we visited, he always remained faithful and committed, like he wanted to have a good time with the guys but had no interest in finding a woman for the night. He brought Camille along to stuff too because they were friends who liked doing things besides sitting on the couch all night long.

Made me think of Emerson.

Ryan was quiet for a while, taking in the sights, before he turned to me. “Seriously, what’s going on, man?”

I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“You look miserable.”

It was a mistake coming on this boat.

“And not to make matters worse, but…Fleur is here.”

“What?” I asked incredulously. “Where?”

He shrugged. “It’s a big boat, man.”

“She know I’m here?”

“Probably. I mean, she does seem to follow your every move.” He nudged me in the side.