Kingdom Come

I had to square with the truth of his statement. “What about the other times you could have told me?”

“You didn’t want to know,” he yelled, matching my volume.

I didn’t regard his truth as a get-out-of-jail-free card. Especially when I felt foolish for believing everything he’d ever said or done. “I guess you just laughed your ass off as you flirted with me in the emails. It makes sense now why you didn’t call me. I would have recognized your lying ass, Striker.”ConnorShe cursed me with a name I’d gotten from someone long ago but stuck.

I stood, feeling my prone position was aiding in me losing ground. “Does it really matter what my name is? You only wanted a good fuck.”

The verbal slap hit her square in the face as she stumbled back a few steps. I ran a hand over my face, wishing I could take it back. I was flailing because I didn’t know what to do or say to make this better. An ache in my chest built as I felt her slip further away.

“What I want is for you to leave.” I reached for her, but she jerked away. “Just go.”

Instead of reminding her it was my apartment, I picked up my clothes and left. For the first time in my life, I understood how the women from my past felt as they cried and begged for us to work things out.

Karma was a bitch.LizzyAs soon as the door shut behind him, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I clutched my chest as if I could stop the bleeding even though I wasn’t physically hurt, despite how it felt. I’d allowed another rich prick to use me.

I’d been such a fool, hadn’t I? I’d let my guard down and now I felt as if I was drowning. Somehow, through the racking sobs, I sent Anderson a text explaining I wouldn’t be in today.

I hadn’t felt this way since Beau. He’d ripped my heart to shreds, and I now felt that same way. I didn’t understand how I’d become so attached to a man I obviously didn’t know. Was Karma teaching me a lesson? Was this how Hans felt?

That was when a sparkle on my finger caught my attention. I ripped the rings from my finger and threw them across the room to clatter away.

I looked after them, wondering what I’d done.

My sobs only got harder as I felt betrayed by a man I thought I could trust. What was I supposed to do now?Twenty-FiveConnorThe bottle of Johnnie Walker stared accusingly back at me. I’d never been a heavy drinker, but over the last few months, I’d tried to find my soul at the end of several bottles. So far, I’d failed.

Just like I’d tried and failed to move on without Lizzy.

I hadn’t sent flowers. I knew her well enough to know that they would end up trash like their sender.

I hadn’t sent her the paintings she’d requested. My reply to her email requesting more work had gone unanswered.

I hadn’t sent texts begging for forgiveness. I had my pride and I wouldn’t be like those other guys who’d failed at winning her.

What I had done was left her alone as she’d requested. Respecting others’ wishes was a big thing for me. If she wanted to let go of the possibility of us, who was I to stop her?

I might have gone to the apartment in the last few days with the excuse of getting some things, hoping to get a glimpse of her. She wasn’t there. All her things were gone.

Kalen wouldn’t tell me where she was, asking me to leave it be.

That didn’t mean things were good, or even as good as they were before her. When you meet someone you click with, you realize when they leave how pathetic your life was before you met them. Who did I have outside of Eliza? My brother had Griffin. My mother had no use for me, besides being a buffer between her and Dad. He only needed me to fill in as he tried to find the work-life balance his doctors said he needed if he wanted to see another year of life.

Lizzy had broken me—something I hadn’t thought possible after I’d rebuilt myself from an unthinkable childhood. Sex wasn’t the same after her. Not that I’d been interested in any since her, including a one-nighter or a new sub.

“Boss.”

I looked up to see Eliza in my office doorway. If anyone had profited from Lizzy’s abrupt exit from my life, it was her. I’d planned to fire her. But after the Lizzy storm blew my world apart, I’d needed someone to fill in as I tried to find the piece of myself I’d lost.

“Yes,” I snapped, but Eliza wasn’t the target of my anger. The ever-present ghost haunting my memories was. Lizzy.