Kingdom Fall

I’d met one girl from our sister school and tried to have a normal relationship with her. It hadn’t worked. It would be years before I tried again. “It took a while for me. I met someone in college. She too had a story, and she showed me another way where I could be normal.”

“What way is that?”

The door was open. Might as well open it all the way.

“I need control. Full control,” I said.

“I can see that.”

“There are people who want the opposite.”

“To give away their control?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“You’re a dom?”

“A dominant. Yes.”

“But we—”

“You are the first…” I started to say relationship, but could I put a label on what we were? “The first woman, outside of a girl in high school, I’ve done the vanilla thing with.”

“It didn’t go well? In high school,” she clarified.

“No, and I stayed away from girls until college.”

“And now? Can you be in a relationship outside of the dom-sub thing?”

“It’s not a thing. It’s a lifestyle.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to diminish it. I guess I don’t have all the right words for this situation.”

I nodded.

She said, “I guess I wonder if things can work between us?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“What happened to the woman who showed you this lifestyle?”

“She’s around.”

Lizzy sat up. “What does that mean?”

“Don’t get jealous. There’s nothing between us.”

“Ever?”

“Once. I wasn’t successful in my first couple of attempts at a D/s relationship. She suggested I try on her.”

Lizzy laughed. “Oh, she wanted in your pants.”

“No, it wasn’t like that.”

“Are you sure? Has she suggested you two should try again?” When I didn’t respond, Lizzy nodded. “Ah, I see. She does still want you. I can’t blame her.”

“It’s not going to happen, trust me.”

“How can you be certain?”

“There have been plenty of opportunities. I’m not stupid enough to think it would work.”

“Good. I don’t have competition. The question is do you want to try? With me, I mean.”

I wasn’t certain what she was suggesting. “What are you saying, princess? I thought we were done with our fake marriage as soon as one of us can get the paperwork started?”

“Maybe we could start at girlfriend-boyfriend.”

“I wouldn’t know how,” I said.

“And I don’t know what it’s like to be a submissive—and I’m not sure I can. But you know how to be a boyfriend. It can’t be far from what you do now, except now we take care of each other.”

I blinked at her. “Now my wife is my girlfriend?”

“Exactly.”

“You know that sounds ridiculous, right?”

“Maybe.”

“And if I need more?” I had no idea if my appetites in that area would rise.

“One step at a time.”

I thought about the first one. “Will you tell me what you expect of your boyfriends?”

She shrugged. “I’ve only had two.”

“The asshole,” who still needed to be taken care of but I didn’t mention that. I had already added him to the list of assholes that were due a reckoning. “And Hans?”

She nodded. “You know that trust thing I guess.”

“But you trust me?”

She had no idea how much rode on her answer.

“I want to trust you… I do trust you in many ways.”

It wasn’t exactly the answer I wanted, but close. We could build up from there. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but what did Hans do for you that you liked?” I wouldn’t bring up the other excuse of a human being.

“He was really sweet. The quintessential nice guy. Everybody loved him. And I loved him to,” she said.

I tried not to grimace hearing her say she loved him. “Did he buy you flowers and stuff like that?”

She grinned. “You should know by now I’m not a hearts and flowers type of girl. Don’t get me wrong. I like flowers. They’re pretty. But I think that’s why Hans and I didn’t work. He’s too sweet. I think I stayed so long because he was the safe option.”

I raised a brow. “But you said you loved him?”

“As a friend.” Inwardly I sighed, relieved she hadn’t. “It’s not like I want a douche bag. I think what I liked most about my relationship with Hans was having someone to chill with, hang out with, hold hands with.”

“I knew you liked that,” I teased.

“I don’t like holding your hand when you piss me off.”

Chuckling, I said, “Duly noted.”

“I do like it when you touch me.”

I tugged her from her seat to sit on my lap, a place she’d made clear she liked to be.

“Yeah, I like this,” she said as I stroked her thigh. “But also just cuddling.”

Clearly, she’d felt my reaction to her on my lap. “I can’t help my response whenever you’re this close.”

She pressed her lips to mine but didn’t linger. I could take things further, but I went with her cuddling and talking option.

“What else do you like to do with your boyfriends?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Like maybe go to parties—”