Get off on the Pain (Pain 1)

“No fight. She’s leaving with me, Trevor. She doesn’t need your protection.” Memphis looks at Trevor as if he has something important to say, but must decide against it. “We’re out. Don’t worry about her. She isn’t yours to deal with.”

A few people pat Trevor on the shoulder and he gets distracted so he starts backing away. “Alright,” he says, sounding confused. “See ya later, man.”

I wait for Trevor to turn away before I confront Memphis. “I’m pretty sure I’m a grown woman and can take care of myself.” I push my way past him and start heading for a quiet spot. I can barely move with the crowd being so packed together, but I manage my best, pushing people out of my way. I can feel him following close behind me, so I continue as I fight my way through. “You told me to stay out of your life. Why the hell do you care what I do? This is stupid.”

He steps in front of me and starts pulling me behind him. The crowd splits, instantly allowing him—us—to pass through until we’re out in the opening and away from the noise. “I really don’t fucking know to be honest. All I know is that you don’t need to be at a place like this. Guys like Trevor are no good for you.”

“And guys like you?” My heart is beating so fast right now that I feel like puking. I’m furious.

“Like I said. No good for you.”

I shake my head and let out a small breath. “So you’re the same as Trevor?”

He nods his head. “In ways.”

“Okay.” I turn away and bite my lip. “I should be trusted to leave alone with you, but I shouldn’t talk to him in a big crowd with witnesses. Well that makes a lot of sense.”

He runs his hands through his messy hair in frustration. “Just come with me. I have something I’ve been meaning to do and I’ll feel better not going alone.”

I watch as he starts walking away. A part of me wants to tell him to fuck off, but the bigger part is screaming to follow him . . . so I do.

I hear people screaming Memphis’ name but he just picks up speed, ignoring them.

When I catch up to him, he’s standing on the passenger side of his massive, black truck, holding the door open. “Get in.”

“Wait.” I look behind me. “Why is everyone screaming your name? And why did everyone just make a damn path for you when you walked through? Were you supposed to fight tonight?”

He gives me a hard look. “It doesn’t matter. Just get in.”

“Asshole,” I mumble while jumping in and pulling my feet inside. I reach for the door and slam it closed before he can manage to shut it for me.

Memphis turns away from the truck for a minute and stares back out into the crowd before leaning his head back in frustration and walking over to his side.

Once inside, he shoves his key into the ignition, but pauses before he turns it. It looks as if he is trying to figure something out. Most likely, he’s probably trying to decide whether or not to kick me out of his truck. Too bad I’m curious now, because I’m not going anywhere, even though I have a feeling he tricked me into leaving with him.

“You really didn’t want any company did you?”

He grips the steering wheel. “Nope. Doesn’t matter. I’m not leaving you here.”

He hesitates but then turns the key and pulls out without saying a word.

I’m not going lie; I sort of like him better that way; sexy and mute. That . . . I can handle.

WE RIDE IN SILENCE FOR about ten minutes before pulling up at the graveyard and he kills the engine. My heart sinks. His hands tighten on the steering wheel as he fights to catch his breath. His emotions are so thick I can almost feel them.

I want to say something, but I don’t. I have a feeling that this moment of silence is needed, so I just sit here and wait for his next move.

Almost five minutes I’ve sat here when he turns to me with a pained look in his eyes. He looks dead inside: tortured and hurt. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He hops out of the truck and I don’t hesitate before getting out and following behind him. A woman never gets anywhere by following orders from a man. I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable, and my chest tightens at the thought of him possibly needing me to be here for him.

He pauses for a second and shakes his head at me, before continuing to walk and mumbling under his breath. It doesn’t take long before he stops in front of a tombstone and grips his hair as he reads the front, his muscles flexing as he stares down.

I see his jaw muscles tremble as if he’s fighting back the urge to either cry or scream. I haven’t even taken the moment to see whose grave we might be standing at. I can’t seem to stop watching him. He doesn’t seem like the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve. Seeing him this way makes him seem more real, and makes me remember why I wanted to help him the first day I met him.

He reaches in his jacket pocket, pulls something out, and kisses it before kneeling down in front of the tombstone. That’s when I look down to read it for myself.

Lizzy Carter

Loving Mother and fighter till the end.

You shall never be forgotten

My eyes water as Memphis sets down an old paintbrush on the edge of the tombstone, directly in front of the wording. He closes his eyes, now crouching down before it. “I’ll never forget those paintings you used to make for me every night before bed when I was ten. Do you remember that?” He smiles small as if remembering. “Or the ones you used to give to me every year for my birthday. You were the strongest, most talented woman in the world. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about your smile or your laugh and wish that I could have been there for you.” He punches the ground before gripping the grass. “I love you more than words and I would trade my life for yours if given the chance, but I can’t and it kills me. I promised you I’d take care of Alex, so that’s what I’m going to do. I promise you that. You’ll never have to worry about Alex as long as I’m around.” He kisses his hand and then touches it to the ground, keeping it there for a moment. “You’ll always be my world. Sleep tight, beautiful angel.”

I wipe away a stray tear as Memphis stands up and starts walking away. He doesn’t say a word or stop to see if I’m coming. He clearly needs to get away and fast. I know that feeling, so I fall into step behind him.