Get off on the Pain (Pain 1)

Remembering where I’m at, I glance around me to see that someone must have ushered the crowd somewhere else, because all that remains is a small group of men in business suits, all standing guard.

Well, lucky fucking me.

“I don’t fight anymore. I’m done.” I start walking Alex out of the ring, knowing that there’s no way we’re both getting out of here alive unless I take his offer. I try anyway. Why . . . because I’m a hardheaded son of a bitch.

A hand grips my shoulder and yanks me back. Out of instinct I swing my elbow back, connecting it with a jaw. I hear a loud crack before the sound of feet shuffling across the cement at me.

“That’s enough!” Asher’s voice echoes throughout the warehouse, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand. Everyone freezes on command, obviously aware of what this man is capable of. “This is your last chance. Be here this Friday night at midnight or the offer no longer stands. You got me, Memphis?”

Without looking back I walk Alex off the stage and push my way through the men in suits. I can feel his eyes burn into me. I can imagine the shit-eating grin on his face, knowing that he’s won. At least, I’ll let him think that. I need to figure this shit out.

His words repeat in my head as I push our way out into the cool night air and slam Alex against my truck.

“You fucked me, Alex! Consider my ass dead.”

I close my eyes and Lyric flashes through my mind, making my whole world stand still at the thought of fucking shit up and never seeing her again. She’s the only thing that silences the demons and makes me feel alive.

Just when my life was beginning to fucking make sense . . . it crumbles around me. Well fuck me to hell and back.

IT WAS A LONG DAY at the tattoo shop, and I swore if I had to spend another minute there I was going to choke someone. Styles was being unusually annoying and Ryan was just in a really pissy mood. I thought about kicking his leg out from under him a few times, but decided that I didn’t want to listen to him whine about it. I just can’t take anymore shit today.

I’ve been off work for the last two hours and have been contemplating whether or not I want to confront Memphis about what happened the other night. You don’t just let yourself into someone’s room and give them the greatest fucking orgasm they’ve ever had and then walk away as if it never happened. A part of me wants to yell at him, then tell him to fuck off and never talk to me again. I doubt I’ll be able to do that though.

Bailey looks up from the TV and tosses me a bag of chocolate covered raisins. “Here, take these. You look like you need to put something in your mouth.”

I tear the bag open and pour myself a handful. “No, what I need is to get something out of my mouth.” I sit up, suddenly angry. “I mean who the fuck does Memphis think he is?”

“Whoa . . . am I missing something?” Bailey sits up straight and crosses her legs, eager for gossip. “Did something happen the other night when I was gone? You’ve been acting really damn weird all night.”

I think back to the look in Memphis’ eyes when I first noticed him watching me. There was no denying the want in them. Then, just as easily, he switched it off and walked out. As much as it bothers me, I feel like it’s my own dirty little secret and I want to keep it all to myself.

“No. I’m just tired. I don’t know. I have another photo shoot on Friday and I guess I’m just burnt out. Maybe I need a vacation.” I pop another handful of raisins in my mouth before standing up and reaching for my jacket. “I need to get some air. I’ll be back.”

Bailey lies back on the couch and covers up with her favorite fuzzy blanket. “You’re such a damn liar. I’ll get it out of you sooner or later so don’t even bother trying to lie.”

“I’ll tell you about it later. I just don’t feel like discussing it right now. I’m tired as shit and have a lot on my mind.” I open the front door. “Leave the door unlocked.”

“Whatever,” she says. “Hurry and shut the door. I’m cold.”

Rolling my eyes, I back out of the door and just about scream when I turn around to see Memphis leaning against the porch behind me. “What the hell, Memphis! You scared the shit out of me.”

Slowly, he stands up straight, before walking toward me with purpose in each step, making my nerves spike. He looks tortured, angry. It makes my heart ache for him.

Tangling one hand in the back of my hair, he grabs me by the waist and slams me against the house. “I shouldn’t fucking want you the way I do. I shouldn’t be thinking about you . . .” He swallows. “But I am.” He presses his body against mine, causing a shiver to run up my spine. “Tell me to go away,” he demands.

I look down at his lips and shake my head. I can’t do that. My heart is pounding with need and all I want to do is kiss him. “No,” I whisper.

He pounds his fist against the house. “Fuck, Lyric.” He tangles his other hand in my hair, tugging. “Why are you so damn stubborn?”

“It’s the way I was raised . . .” I look up to meet his eyes. “By my asshole of a father that barely even knew I was there.”

I see hurt flash in his eyes before his lips brush against mine, and then stop. They hover there for a moment, barely touching mine, before he just walks away, leaving me cold and wanting him.

I lean against the house, fighting to catch my breath as I watch him disappear into his garage door as if nothing just happened, and as if he wasn’t just standing here on my damn porch telling me he wants me. I’m pissed. Beyond pissed. He may have caught me in a weak moment, but no more. I’m giving this asshole a piece of my mind. I’m not doing this shit with him anymore.

Angry, I make my way through the yard and let myself into the garage door and through the house door. I don’t give a shit about his privacy anymore. He had the nerve to barge into my room in the middle of night. Why should I respect his privacy and space?

I walk straight for the hallway and quickly make my way downstairs to see him standing in front of his bed, looking sexy in a black button down shirt. He stiffens when he hears me enter, but doesn’t say a word as he tosses his jacket down in front of him.

I have a brief moment of weakness as I take in his sexy as sin body, but shake it off and do what the hell I’m here to do.

“You know what, Memphis? Fuck you!” His back muscles flex as I walk closer to him. “I’m so sick of you acting as if you want me one minute and then push me away the next. Who the hell do you think you are? Do you think I’m just going to continuously take it? Do you think I enjoy you fucking with me . . . because I sure as hell don’t. It pisses me off.” I take another step, stopping a few feet away from him. “So stay the fuck away from me, Memphis. Don’t come to my house and tell me to stay away. YOU stay away . . . and give me your fucking key. You don’t live there anymore. I do.”