The Wolf Within (Purgatory 1)

He started to run then. Not after Duncan or Saul. But he was running away…from her.

Because her own monster was about to come out.

She could feel her teeth burning and stretching in her mouth. If she’d just gotten the dose, everything would have been fine. But she’d had that one drop of blood.

Fresh blood.

From a live source.

One. Single. Drop.

It was the first taste that was supposed to be the most tempting. She’d been warned of this. At the first taste of blood from a live source, the bloodlust would overwhelm her. She’d attack anyone near.

At the first taste…

She’d tried to be so careful. Getting her doses. Only taking blood from bags. Not directly from a person, never that…because you could taste the emotions when you drank the blood from a live source.

That taste was addictive.

“I’m sorry,” Holly whispered to Pate. He’d tried to help her. He’d been the one to give her access to the bags, but she’d slipped up.

One drop.

Her control splintered.

She spun around and sprang at Pate. He hadn’t been able to make it to safety. He was too far from the facility. And he couldn’t run nearly fast enough to get away from her.

She bared her fangs at him. The frantic pounding of his heartbeat filled her ears. The drumming sound pulled her closer. Closer.

She leapt for him. In the next second, she had her arms wrapped around him. She pushed up onto her toes and put her mouth on his throat.

“I’m sorry, Holly,” he told her quietly. “I should have taken better care of you.”

There was a gun right at her heart. She could feel the press of the cold metal through her shirt.

She should have known that Pate would be armed. He always was.

He pulled the trigger.

***

“Holly.”

She shook her head, content to stay in the darkness that surrounded her.

“Holly, I know it hurts, but just hold on. The dose is almost finished.”

Pate. He sounded worried.

He should be worried. He’d shot her.

After she’d tried to kill him.

“That’s it. You should have everything that you need.” She felt a light tug on her arm, near her elbow. Then his fingers brushed back her hair. “I’m gonna dig the bullet out, and when I do, you’ll be able to move again.”

The bullet. Ah, yes, that would be why her chest hurt like a bitch.

And why she couldn’t move so much as a single part of her body.

There was a surge of pressure on her chest and then…

The darkness vanished as her eyes opened. She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath.

Pate’s arms tightened around her. “You just scared the shit out of me.”

My lab. He’d carried her back inside. She was on the floor. Half-cradled in his arms.

The shame of what she’d done burned through her. “I went…for your throat.”

He held her tighter. “You weren’t yourself. You’d just gotten werewolf blood. You know the effect that it has on your kind.”

She did. Werewolf blood was reportedly like a drug to her kind—giving them a burst of pleasure, of euphoria, that was rumored to be better than sex.

“The first time you get blood from a live source, and that source had to be a werewolf.” He sounded disgusted now. “Hell, there was no way at all you were maintaining control after that.”

She had control now, though. Her gaze dropped to the floor beside her. Pate had given her a transfusion—a whole lot of blood. Well, that would explain the whole having-control bit.

“What you saw in the woods…it wasn’t what you thought. I gave Duncan orders. He’s going to keep Saul on a leash and use him so that we can find the alpha.”

So Duncan hadn’t been betraying the unit. Her lashes swept down even as relief rose within her.

“When I brought Duncan back here to you, I never thought you’d get his blood. Oh, sis, I swear, I never did.”

She heard the remorse in his voice, and Holly wanted to believe him.

But she couldn’t. Not entirely. Because she knew him better than anyone else. He could be so manipulative.

If he thought he was helping in the battle against the monsters out there, would he risk her life?

He’d risk everything.

She pulled away from him. The wooden bullet—covered with her blood—was in his hand. “Did anyone see?” Holly whispered.

What she was—it was their secret. One they’d protected the entire time she’d been working in the unit.

He shook his head. “I carried you inside. No one saw anything.”

Good. “What happens now?” She’d slipped up. Made the mistake that she’d always feared. Pate had been so confident that no one would ever learn about her. That she’d be safe, as long as she had access to the doses she needed. And in her own lab, a place guarded by a dozen agents, he’d promised that she’d have the security she wanted.

Only she wasn’t safe anymore. Neither was he.

I had Duncan’s blood.

“Nothing happens. We continue just as before.”

Her jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious! I almost killed you.”

His fingers closed over the bullet. “And I did kill you.”

Only she hadn’t stayed dead. She couldn’t. That was the way with her kind. As long as a wooden bullet was in her heart, her body would mimic death. Once the bullet was out…she came back to life, so to speak.

The real truth was that she’d died a year ago.

“Go home. Sleep. Wash away the blood.” His words were clipped, and they were also no longer given in the softer tone of a brother, but rather in the more demanding snap of a boss. “Then you come back here tonight, and you carry on the same as before.”

She rose to her feet. She was already stronger. Thanks to the dose.

The dose…call it what it is…the blood. Though often, the blood was combined with a special drug mix that was supposed to keep her urges in check. “We can’t keep on like this.” She was fighting her instincts. Trying to be something that she wasn’t.

Human.

“We’ll keep on until you find a cure.”

There was no cure. He didn’t get that. It wasn’t that she was sick. She wasn’t human anymore.

“Go home,” Pate ordered again as a muscle jerked in his jaw. “Everything will be better soon.”

Pate. So wrong. So lost.

He blamed himself for what she’d become.

Sometimes, late at night, she blamed him, too. That was her shame.