Victoria firmed her lips and turned away. She had to get to him. The others could retrieve the orb. They could go to the Midiverse Portal. They didn’t need her.
She couldn’t leave Max here.
She had to go after him.
Without another word, Victoria turned and went inside the inn. Once in the small chamber she’d used to sleep in, she dug through the long leather bag in which she stored her weapons. She’d go in well armed and fight her way to Max.
She could have Michalas show her the entrance to the lair, and then he could go with the others. They would need the three of them, certainly, to fight the demons escaping from the portal, but they could do it.
She knew they could. They were Venators.
Max.
Victoria brushed angry, sharp tears from her eyes. How could he have done this? He had to have known what would happen.
How could he have left me?
They should have gone together.
A noise behind her drew her upright, and she dashed her hand across her eyes again before turning. Sebastian stood there, blocking the doorway.
“Victoria.”
“You can’t stop me,” she said flatly. “Don’t try. I have to go after him. He’d go after me.”
Sebastian nodded. “Of course he would want to. But you know Max, and how damn insufferable he is about doing the right thing. He’d rather suffer than be happy.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but you’re not going to change my mind.”
He shook his head. “I’m not here to change your mind. He knew you’d go after him. And of course you should, Victoria. I’d come after you. Always.”
Another blasted tear stung her eyes. Why now, why after two years of angst and fear and anger did she have to act like a watering pot every time something happened? Aunt Eustacia had never shed a tear.
“But I wanted to tell you what it was like in there,” Sebastian continued, walking into the room. “He was brilliant. I bloody well thought I’d never admit it aloud, but the man was brilliant. And strong. So damn strong. He was ahead of her every step of the way; he knew what she was going to say-and do-before she did it. He’d planned it all.”
“Why in God’s name didn’t you just kill her and get the rings and go?” Victoria burst out. “Why did he have to trade himself? Didn’t he know what that would do to me?” She clamped her mouth shut, but her voice had already risen in a high-pitched wail.
“I wondered the same thing, but then I understood,” Sebastian said, almost gently. His amber eyes focused on her, a depth of seriousness she hadn’t often seen within them. “There was no way to get the rings after she was dead. They were hidden in a little chamber. She touched the wall with her hand, and the door appeared as if from nowhere-some kind of magic, I think. We would never have found the chamber or the rings, and it would have all been for naught.”
“But after you got them,” she said desperately, “you could have attacked her and left with the rings. You didn’t have to leave him there !” Now the tears exploded, to her great chagrin and shame, and she knuckled them furiously away.
He opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it and instead drew her into his arms. She allowed him to embrace her, to settle her head on his shoulder and to feel the familiar comfort of his body, the faint scent of cloves and tobacco. How many times had he done this for her? And this time… this time she knew he had no ulterior motive.
He meant only to give comfort. Dear Sebastian.
“Victoria,” he said, his voice rumbling in his chest against her ear, “he knew the risk. He was fully aware of the sacrifice he made.”
Sacrifice.
Damn Max. Why did he have to be so bloody noble?
“We had no weapons. There was no way to leave unless she allowed it. He knew that. He’s been there before. He knew what he was doing, the risk. The sacrifice. There was no other way.”
Sacrifice.
Aunt Eustacia had sacrificed herself, too. She’d made Max do the unthinkable because she knew he would. One life given for the safety of many.
Victoria pushed the thought away. This was different. This was Max. Her Max.
She’d free him, or she’d die trying. She didn’t want to live without him.
Coward.
Dying is easier than going on without.
I’m a coward when it comes to you.
She pulled away from Sebastian. “Go and get the orb. I’ll…” Her voice broke. She felt as though her insides were twisting like a rag being wrung out. Harder, tighter, until every bit of feeling leeched away… leaving her empty.
She swallowed, stood upright, and looked straight at him. “I order you to go, as your Illa Gardella. Get the orb. Close the Midiverse Portal. God willing, I’ll see you after.”
Sebastian looked at her. “Illa Gardella,” he said, reaching to touch her cheek, brushing away a tear. “You are a magnificent woman, Victoria. A brave, intelligent leader. Beautiful and strong.” His expression grew intense, and he took her chin to keep her eyes fastened on him. “You are Illa Gardella. Never forget that.”
He turned her face up and kissed her… not on the lips, but on the cheeks-one side and then the other. Then he left the room, closing the door behind him.
She realized then that he’d finally accepted her love for Max.
Turning back to her preparations, she felt a wave of fear again. What if she was too late?
What if they didn’t get the orb? If something went wrong, and the portal wasn’t closed?
You are Illa Gardella.
She was.
Victoria’s knees gave way and she let herself sink onto the bed.
You are Illa Gardella now, Victoria. You have an obligation to the Consilium and the rest of the Venators. You can no longer think only of yourself, of your needs and desires, but of the far-reaching consequences of your actions. Or inactions.
It’s time you learned sacrifice.
Max’s angry words came roaring back to her, words he fairly shouted at her during their escape from Nedas, months ago.
Sacrifice.
Bloody damn sacrifice.
Illa Gardella. Last of the line.
Of course. He meant to protect not only her, Victoria, the woman he loved… but also her, the last of the line.
Of course.
She didn’t like it, but she understood better why. Why he’d leave her behind, why he had to leave her behind. Why he thought he had to leave her behind.
And she knew she couldn’t go after him. At least, not yet.
Not until the task at hand was done.