Every Sweet Regret (Orchid Valley 2)
GoodHands69: I’m in a weird place. Ready to move on from my marriage, but also not ready, because I have a daughter who matters more than anything. I’m trying to figure out a few things. Anyway, I guess I needed the distraction.I roll to my side and consider how to reply. Should I bring up what happened in the pool house, or do like we agreed and pretend it never happened? If he wants to pretend, why is he talking to me on here?
ItsyBitsy123: Do you want to talk about it?
GoodHands69: No. I’m . . . still processing, if that makes sense?It does. I think I’m still processing too, but I’m not sure how chatting with him is going to help me let go of all the “what-ifs” our almost-hookup planted in my brain.
GoodHands69: What brings you to Random tonight?
ItsyBitsy123: I used to think I was here because it was fun. Lately, I suspect I’m a glutton for punishment, but maybe my luck has changed?
GoodHands69: What makes you say that?
ItsyBitsy123: Um, because you’re here, Mr. GOOD HANDS. How long’s it been since you dated? Be honest.
GoodHands69: Honest? I haven’t dated anyone since my ex-wife. Some days I think dating might be good for me, but it’s not the same as it was when I was in college. A friend suggested Random might be a good way to get started, but you’re the only one I’ve been interested enough to swipe on. (You can thank your profile picture for that. It made me smile.)I bite my lip. I wonder if Dean was the one who got him started on here. I can’t imagine my brother intended Kace to hook up with me when he recommended Random. Then again, if Kace wanted that, all he had to do was let me stay on Saturday. I’m so confused and afraid that because of my lifelong crush, I’m making a mess of something that should be very clear. Pretend it never happened. It was a mistake.
ItsyBitsy123: Glad you liked my picture, but why did you swipe on ME?
GoodHands69: I’m . . . curious.
ItsyBitsy123: Well, damn. Don’t be so giving with those compliments. Might go to my head.
GoodHands69: I mean, you’re different. The other profiles . . . I don’t know how to explain it.
ItsyBitsy123: Sure you do. You just don’t want to admit it.
GoodHands69: The other profiles felt too real, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. This seemed safe.I frown at my phone. On the one hand, this confirms my suspicion that he swiped on me because I was familiar. On the other hand, I don’t understand how someone he knows in real life would seem less real than talking to a stranger. Or maybe he means there’s no chance we’ll end up hooking up, so it’s like a practice run for using the app?
I roll to my stomach and bury my face in my pillow. Only Kace could twist me in overthinking knots like this, and I really need to walk away before I tell him how much I want him. And not just physically.
But my phone buzzes with a new alert, and I’m fucking weak when it comes to this man, so I look, knowing I’ll chat with him all night if he wants.
GoodHands69: Did that sound insulting? I didn’t mean it that way. Tell me to go away if I’m bugging you.
ItsyBitsy123: You can talk to me anytime. Sometimes I tease, but I can be serious too. And, believe it or not, I’m a good listener.
GoodHands69: No, I can tell that about you. But I want you to have a turn. Tell me something.Damn, he’s sweet. Reason #23541 no one can blame me for carrying a torch for him. But in typical Stella fashion, I make it a joke.
ItsyBitsy123: I assume that’s not an invitation to start sexting? You’re not asking what I’m wearing?
GoodHands69: Ha! That’s probably what I’m supposed to be using this message function for, but I’m not in the right headspace to go there—even as I type that, I hear my buddy in my head telling me I’m acting like a loser. I can’t help it. I’m a connection-before-sex kind of guy.I’ve had other guys on here say something similar, but with Kace, I know it’s true. We might spend a lot of time in the same circle of friends, but I wouldn’t call him my friend. He’s never taken me seriously enough to try to connect with me—and maybe that’s my fault, but having him try now makes me hopeful and vulnerable in the most extreme way.
As much as I flirt with Kace, the truth is I’ve never wanted just sex from him. Don’t get me wrong—if he offered, I’d take it (as I proved Saturday), but it’d never be enough for me.
ItsyBitsy123: You’re not a loser, and it’s refreshing, so screw him. What do you want to know?