Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles 3)

“We shall,” I said, and we started walking.

Walking beside Jamie was difficult at first. He was human, so he was slow. I had to keep reminding myself to slow down and not hold him too hard. It was harder than it sounded. Being a noctalis with noctalis strength was natural, as was using that strength. I hadn't had to tone it down with Ivan. We'd wrestled and thrown each other around in wild tumbling fights that destroyed several trees, or walls or whatever else we were near. There was such a freedom in using my strength, but there was a freedom in walking beside Jamie. It was a different kind, a sweeter kind. More innocent.

“Will you tell me one thing?” Jamie said after a few minutes of walking.

“Depends on what that is. I may or may not answer.” Jamie's hand throbbed in mine. Full of beautiful red blood. I could rip his vein open quicker than he could blink.

“Are you running away from something?”

I thought about my answer. Yes, I was going to answer him. “Yes and no. Maybe I'm not running away. Maybe I'm running toward something else.”

His hand tightened on mine for just a moment. He stopped walking and I stopped with him. He turned to face me.

“What are you running toward, Brooke?”

I smiled slowly to make sure I got it right. “Maybe it's you.”

His breath hitched for just a moment and his eyes widened just a fraction. They were things a human probably wouldn't notice. But I did. I noticed everything about him.

I started walking again, hoping he'd follow so I didn't start dragging him.

“I don't think I've ever met a girl like you.”

“With any luck, you probably won't ever again. That would be a good thing, Jamie.”

I had to leave. I couldn't stay in his life. The longer I was in it, the better the chances were that I was going to kill him. I should have just done it when he pulled up next to my car. Those stupid blue eyes and that smile. They were going to be the death of him.

“There's something else about you. Something... I can't put my finger on it,” he said.

“Then stop trying. Why don't we just enjoy today?”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but one look at my face and another smile and he caved.

I saw the clearing long before we came to it, but played along with my act that I was in the dark about it.

“It's just up here,” he said, stepping over a log. I stepped over, hoping I looked like a person.

The clearing was lopsided, larger on one side than on the other, kind of like a kidney. It was not perfectly level, either, but there was a huge stump in the middle of it, covered in moss and at just the right height for sitting. Jamie and I could share it and still have enough space for a few people.

“It's beautiful,” I said when we finally came within human view of it. The sun was somehow shining through the trees directly on the stump, as if it was magically drawn there.

“I come here a lot. My family is a little messed up,” Jamie said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Whose isn't?”

He tugged on his ear. “I guess so. Some people have it easier than others.”

“They're usually the ones who bitch the most about their problems,” I said, using air quotes.

He laughed. “Exactly.”

I stepped forward into the clearing and started walking toward the stump. I turned, knowing that he was watching me. “You coming?”

He blinked, as if he was coming out of a trance. “You look amazing in the sun.” That made me smile. It was so much easier to smile being around him. He was like a happy drug.

I skipped toward the stump and hopped up on it with a bit too much supernatural speed. Oops. I turned to see his reaction.

He swallowed loudly. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” I hated playing the innocent dumb girl with him. I didn't mind when I was looking for someone to feed on, but lying to Jamie like that felt wrong.

“You're not an idiot, Brooke. Stop acting like one. I know you were trying to pick someone up on that road. I don't know why, but I know you're not the kind of girl who gets stranded on the side of the road. So what were you doing there? Why were you trying to lure someone to come and help you? What is your story, Brooke? You can trust me, I swear.”

His blue eyes looked up at me. So open. So innocent. He couldn't comprehend the things I'd done. Not if he had a million lifetimes.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” I said, sitting down on the rock. Part of me wanted to scare him. To freak him out so much he would run back to his truck and out of my life.

That would be best.

“Maybe I would. How do you know until you try?”

No one had lived long enough to ask me what I was. I was a quick killer.

“I'm a vampire. If I wanted to, I could tear open your neck right now and drink all your blood. I would enjoy it very much. More than anything else, actually.” I said it with no emotion, but I gave him a little smile at the end, showing him my teeth. We noctali had no fangs, but still.

“Really? That's the best you could come up with? Why can't you be serious, Brooke?”

“I am serious. You asked, I told you.”

I leaped down from the stump, landing exactly in front of him with barely a sound. I could totally blow his mind and transform, but I wasn't sure his mind could take it. Besides, I'd shred my shirt, and I didn't want to find another one yet. Although, I could just take his. Wearing Jamie's shirt would be... Mmhmmm.

I stepped closer to him and pulled him in with my eyes. It was simple to do. Humans were easily distracted. I held him for so long he forgot to breathe. I released him and his lungs heaved.

“What the hell?”

“I told you. I'm not what you think I am. Here,” I said, taking his hand and putting it on my heart. Far enough up so he wasn't touching my boob, but close enough that he could feel that my heart didn't beat.

“Do you feel that?” I said.

His face went a little red as he saw where his hand was. Boys.

“Feel what?”

“Exactly. And here.” I took his hand and moved it to my neck where there was no pulse. “I have no heartbeat, no pulse. Haven't you noticed that I don't breathe? Or blink?”

He opened and closed his mouth several times, still looking down at his hand as if he'd forgotten he had one. “How are you doing this? Is it some kind of trick?”

“No, it's not a trick. How could I do that?”

“Brooke, stop it. It's not funny.” His heart pounded a frenzied beat.

“I'm aware,” I said as he tried to take his hand back. It was time for drastic measures. I refused to let his hand go.