Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles 3)

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Mr. Sullivan. Your family is going through a hard time, and I wish I could do something to make it better.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.” Dad and Peter have a moment of understanding, and then Peter nods and walks out of the dining room while I stand there, gaping like a fish.

“I'm going to walk him out,” I say.

Aj and Dad go back to talking about Mom as I walk Peter to the door so he can run home. Dad still hasn't noticed that he doesn't ever drive to my house. I guess he's got too much else on his mind.

“I love you.”

“Adore,” he says, kissing me softly before shutting the door.

I stand still, feeling him hop up on the roof and cross to my room. Apart from the fact that I need him near me, I love knowing that he's in my room waiting for me. It makes me feel safe.

I walk in on Dad and Aj having another moment.

“I don't know what to do,” Dad says, raking his hands through his hair. It reminds me of that breakdown he had in the kitchen a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen him have one since, but that doesn't mean he didn't have them in private.

“You know you can call me anytime. I have my phone with me always. There's nothing I can't abandon to help my big brother, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Dad? You don't have to do this alone,” I say. I've wanted to say that for a long time, but I was so angry for a while. Guess I've gotten past that stage of my grief.

“I'm sorry, Ava. I haven't been a very good dad lately.”

“It's okay,” I say, joining the hug. I've never hugged so much in one day.

“It's really not, but thank you for saying so. We need to do some more talking, you and I,” he says, looking down at me. Sometimes it hits me just how much I look like him. I'm my father's daughter, whether I want to admit it or not.

“Not tonight,” I say. I've got too much other crap going on. I've got to start working on my finals projects, which actually might end up being more time consuming than if I would have just done finals the normal way. C'est la vie.

“I agree. I'm going to go check in Claire. Sorry about your visit, Jen.”

“It's okay. Ava and I will have some girl time. Right?” She slings her arm around my shoulder.

“Right,” I say, wrinkling my nose at her. She leans forward and gently nips it.

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath, as if he's preparing to give a speech or go into battle or something. Maybe he is.

“So, why don't you tell me what's really going on between you and that boy,” Aj says as we settle on the couch.

“We're dating.”

“And you love him.”

“Yeah, I do.” We covered this ground already.

“You're not sleeping with him, are you?” Well, technically yes, but I am not having sex with him, which is what she's asking.

“I'm not having sex with him.”

“For real? You look like you have.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can tell when people have had sex. There's this, I don't know, glow that they have. It's like they have a secret they don't want to share. You two look like that.” We certainly have our secrets, but they're not about sex.

“Nope. Still have my V card.” Damn card.

“Good girl. Although, when I was your age, if I had a boyfriend like that? Damn, I would have jumped on it a long time ago.”

“Ew.”

“Hey, I'm not that old.”

“He is sexy,” I say. This cannot be denied.

“Where did you find him? I know you told me, but I've forgotten.”

“Party. There was a drink that got spilled, he made a witty remark, I made a dumb one, and the rest is history.”

“So is he the one?” Of course he is, but I don't know how Aj is going to take the extent of our relationship.

“I think he is.”

“Just be careful.”

“You're not going to tell me I'm too young, and there are lots of fish in the sea and all that?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm your cool Aunt Jenny. When Sam got married and had you I promised myself I would be a cool aunt that would let you get into trouble. So here I am, being the cool aunt.”

“You are the cool aunt.”

“This is not news.”

“Shut up,” I say, shoving her arm. She grabs mine and twists it behind my back, not enough to hurt, but enough that I am incapacitated. I wiggle, but she's way too strong.

“Give?”

“Yeah.”

“Say it.” I sigh.

“Aj is the coolest aunt ever and I aspire to her awesomeness, which I can never achieve,” I say. It's the phrase she came up with a couple of years ago for when we have wrestling matches.

“That's right. Don't you forget it.” I swat her with my hand, but she ducks. “Too slow.” Not if I'm immortal, but I'm not thinking about that right now. “I think a need a whoopie pie. You want?”

“Sure,” I say, even though it's a tie between what I want more: the whoopie pie or her blood. Such is my life.

We consume two whoopie pies each while we watch trashy TV. Aj pulls hers apart, licking out the frosting before eating the cake parts. I keep one ear trained toward my parents’ room, and all I hear is them softly talking about what to do and whether she should start taking some of the painkillers and other drugs Dr. Chase has been pushing on her. I try to block it out, but I hear most of it anyway.

“You look like you're at a funeral,” Aj comments, and then winces. “Ouch, that was tasteless. Sorry about that.”

“It's okay. You don't have to walk on eggshells. I'm fully aware of what's going to happen.”

“I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.”

“I know.” Other people have said similar things, but from Aj I know it's sincere.

“I just wish I could do more. Sam won't let anyone help him.”

“That's Dad.”

She sighs. “He's going to have to suck it up, because I'm going to be here. I'm coming every weekend, just so you know. He told me about the road trip. I'm going to come up and stay with the house if you need anything. I thought I could clean and get rid of some of those casseroles and so forth. Is there anything you need done?”

“The sink's a little leaky. You don't know how to fix that, do you?” Aj knows about thumbscrews, but I'm not sure how much she knows about plumbing.

“Pft. I got this. I fix all kinds of things in my apartment complex because my landlord is useless.”