Healed (Scarred 2)

“Yes you would have.”

“No.” I shook my head. “No, not like this.”

“Are you going to ask Anna to date you?” She grinned at me and I laughed at her eagerness.

“Now, that’s a slightly awkward question.” I laughed and shrugged. “I don’t know.” I felt a spark of electricity run through me as I thought about Anna. “I like her a lot but I don’t know if this is the time to try and start a relationship. I need to focus on myself now.”

“Wow, look at us. Two strong, single people.”

“What?” I frowned as she attempted a smile. “What about Luke?”

“I feel like I don’t even really know him.” Her voice trailed off. “He’s so much more than I ever knew and I ache inside, Bryce. Why didn’t he tell me, oh, so many things?”

“But you didn’t tell him everything either, Lexi, that’s not fair.”

“Life has a way of not being fair.”

“Don’t be hardheaded, Lexi. Don’t become bitter. Your best quality is your big heart.”

“Eh, I don’t know about that.”

“Trust me.”

“Okay.” She rolled her eyes and I laughed.

“Dear Bryce, I know you don’t know me but I wanted you to know that I think you’re a wonderful human being. I know you may be hurting right now and I know you may think that you have no one, but I want you to know that I’m someone who thinks a lot of you. I’m someone who cares and I just want you to know. That I pray for your safety every night. Stay safe, my dearest Bryce. Miss.” My voice trembled as I tried to remember her letter accurately and she looked at me with wide eyes.

“You memorized my letter?”

“Pretty much all of them.” I ran my hand through my hair, embarrassed. “It was quite easy really. I read them soo many times.”

“You did?”

“They meant the world to me Lexi.” I tried to explain how they had made me feel. “You reached me at the darkest point in my life. I didn’t know if I wanted to live, but your letters, your kind, beautiful letters, they saved me. I think that’s why I thought I loved you.”

“Words are powerful.” She nodded. “I understand.” She still had a sad look on her face and I sighed.

“Let’s go see Shelby. She’ll cheer you up. I promise.”

“I’m ready.” She looked at me nervously. “I hope she likes me.”

“She’ll love you. Of that I’m sure.”

Chapter 11

Lexi

I was grinning like an idiot when I got home. Shelby was a beautiful and loving child who had embraced Bryce and I immediately. The doctor had stayed in the room as we told her the news, just to make sure she wasn’t overwhelmed, and I saw a few tears in his eyes as she had yelped with pleasure and given us a huge hug upon hearing we were her family.

“You’re my brother and sister?” She had looked back and forth at us with amazement in her eyes.

“Yes Shelby.” Bryce had held her soo tenderly. I’d never seen him look that happy before. Never seen such a light in his eyes. “I’d like to adopt you as well, if you’d like that.”

She had nodded happily, clinging to his arm. I could tell that that had delighted Bryce. Here was someone who really, truly needed him. And loved him for who he was. He had a chance to start over. To be the man he always wanted to be. To be a man he could be proud of.

I laughed as I got out of the car. Maybe it was just as well that Bryce and I hadn’t worked out. I didn’t want to be a candidate for the Jerry Springer show, raising my sister with her brother as his lover. That was just a bit too much, even for my lax sensibilities.

“Hey, penny for them?” I heard Luke’s voice before I saw him and I fell back into the grass as Bongo came jumping on me. “Bongo, sit. Bongo,” Luke commanded the dog, who ignored him as he licked my face. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I laughed as he pulled me up from the grass. “Naughty Bongo.”

“I think I need Anna to come help me train him,” he laughed and then groaned as he realized what he had said. “Sorry. I can find someone else.”

“No.” I shook my head. “It’s okay. I need to make amends with Anna anyway.”

“You’ve forgiven her?” He looked at me in surprise.

“I’m not sure that forgiven is the right word.” I shook my head. “What she did is a hard thing to get over, but I know I haven’t been the perfect friend and I miss her. Sometimes a hurt is about what’s beneath the initial shock and pain. I think Anna was hurting a whole lot more than I was.”

“I think you’re my perfect friend.” I felt Luke’s lips against mine and they felt so right, the perfect fit. I melted against him and I felt like I had come home when I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. I grasped his hair and pulled his face down so that I was kissing him harder. I didn’t want to ever leave this moment. It felt so perfect. His arms slid around my waist and he placed his hands into my back pockets. I giggled as he pinched my ass.

“Luke.” I squealed as I pulled away from him and he laughed.

“Yes, Lexi?” His eyes crinkled and I studied his jawline. It’s so strong and sturdy, just like him. I knew I would never get tired of staring into his eyes and seeing the love reflected there. There would never be too many soft but intimate touches between us, melding us together. Sometimes when we hugged I didn’t know where my body ended and his began. It felt like we were one. One big cosmos in the universe, joined together for life.

“You’re going to Boston you know.” I spoke softly but firmly, changing the subject.

“No Lexi.” He shook his head. “I’m not.”

“You have to go to MIT. That’s your dream. You’ve worked so hard for it.”

“That’s not my dream, Lexi. You are.” He pulled me towards him and kissed my nose. “You’ve always been my dream.” I felt his hand creep up my shirt and, as much as I wanted to make love to him and forget all the worries and concerns that were crowding my brain, I couldn’t.

“Luke, I want to know why you went to see a lawyer today.” I shot out, unable to keep it inside anymore. “I want to know why you never told me you were adopted. I want to know why you bought this house. I want to know how you can lie to me and love me at the same time.” I pushed him away from me and felt bereft as his hand left my breast.

“Lexi.” He frowned and shook his head. “I don’t even know what to say. How, how did you find out?”

“Bryce and I went to the attorney, David what’s-his-face. I saw you earlier. I wanted to know. He wanted to know.” My words jumbled together, confusing and choppy.

“You were with Bryce?” He frowned. “You didn’t tell me.”

“Yes, I ... we ... we needed to talk. I wanted to make sure he was going to be okay. I owed it to him.” I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.“And I know about Shelby.”

Luke’s face showed me that he knew what a big deal it was to keep Shelby a secret from me. “I didn’t want to keep her a secret from you, Lexi. But you never told me about your mom and the Mayor. I didn’t want to take that from you.”

“I was embarrassed.” I felt my face flush. “I didn’t want you to judge me or my mom. I just wanted to keep it a secret. I don’t even know why now.”

“You didn’t want it to define who you were,” he said, softly. “You didn’t want her affair to make a difference to your persona and your life.”

“Yeah.” I looked up at him with unshed tears. “I didn’t want to add on another thing to the ‘that poor girl’ list. I just wanted for us to be us, without that. We’ve always just been us. I wanted to keep it normal between us. Equal, you know.”

“I understand, Lexi.” He sighed. “Sometimes there are things that you just want to keep away from your real main life. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to think about it or even acknowledge it. But you know it never left my mind. I just dealt with it internally. Or at least I tried to.”

“You tried to displace it from your mind because you knew there was nothing positive to it. You knew that your parents loved you with every fiber of your being and that was all you needed. Sometimes hidden secrets and heartaches just need to stay hidden.”

“Yeah.” I looked at him suddenly. “Wait, what did you say?” I frowned. “Are you talking about me or you, Luke?”

He sighed and sat on the grass and I joined him, glad I hadn’t worn a pair of white trousers. “So, I only found out a few years ago.” He played with Bongo’s ears as he spoke. “I was volunteering at the orphanage. I had created some new software to streamline all the files to make it easier for everyone. That’s where I first saw Shelby’s file.”

“Oh, so that’s how you knew.” I nodded my head in understanding.

“And then I saw my file.” He looked at me with wide eyes. “And I felt a yearning I never knew I felt. You know? My parents, they’re the best. But I guess I had always, somewhere deep inside, wondered what had happened to my birth parents. Why they had given me up.”

“Oh Luke.” I felt my heart go out for him.

“And so I looked in my file. My mom died, giving birth to me. She had been young, barely out of high school. She was beautiful.” He smiled. “I saw her photo in an old Jonesville High yearbook.”

“You’ll have to show me.” I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it. “I’d like to see what your birth mom looked like.”

“But then I turned the page and I saw who my mom had listed as my dad. I felt like the world was crashing around me. I wanted to scream and shout. I was so angry!” he shouted.

“You know who he is?” I looked at him in surprise.

He nodded and closed his eyes. “When I realized who my birth father was, I thought I was going to breakdown.”

“Who is it?” I stared at Luke with bated breath.

“Lexi, Bryce is my brother. My half brother.”

“What?” I frowned. “Wait, your dad is the mayor?”

He nodded and I felt like I was frozen in a dream. How many people had this guy f**ked up? “And it all made sense to me. He has many illegitimate kids that he has made women give up, Lexi. I saw the files. You wouldn’t believe how many women listed him as the father of their child.”

“OMG.” I stared at him in shock and as I looked at him I could somewhat see a slight resemblance. I’m not sure if I’m imagining it but if I forgot the cosmetic differences, like hair and eye color, Luke and Bryce had quite the physical resemblance.

“So then I realized that Shelby was also my half-sister and I started to spend more time with her. And that’s how Mrs. Evans and I became close.”

“She knew as well?”

“I think she suspected,” he sighed. “She knew her husband was a dog. She was going to divorce him and adopt Shelby. But she always made small comments to me about having such a wonderful family and things happening for a reason.”

“Wow,” I gasped.

“And I realized that the best thing that happened to me was being adopted by my parents. I had always had this hole, wondering why my birth parents didn’t love me enough to keep me. But the best thing that happened to me was not having the mayor as a father.”

“Yeah. Some people shouldn’t be parents.” I sat back and thought about the words the psychic had told me about my dad. “You know, I think I’m lucky that my dad wasn’t in my life as well. He was a meth addict. I don’t know if I would have wanted to deal with that.” My voice trailed off.

“It makes you wonder doesn’t it?”

“What?” I looked at him, curiously.

“It makes you wonder if all the things we complain or worry about are actually blessings in disguise. Maybe we should just be happy with the lot we have and appreciate it.”

“You could be right,” I laughed. “I had you next door to me all these years, yet my heart always yearned for someone else. Someone who is great but not the one for me.”

“Oh?” He grinned at me. “Who is the one for you?”

“I think I’ll keep that a secret,” I laughed.

“You little terror.” He started to tickle me and I could barely breathe.

“Okay, okay, it’s you, Luke. It’s you. It’s always been you.” I giggled. “I love you, Luke Bryan. I will always love you.” He cuts off my words with his lips and, as we rolled around on the grass, I wondered at the fact that it had taken me so long to realize that he was the man of my dreams. “So are you going to tell me why you bought this house?”

“I knew that you felt like you had to stay here to support your mom. I knew that as long as you thought your mom needed you to help with the rent you would stay. I wanted you to be able to live your live Lexi. I wanted you to go and leave out your dreams. I wanted you to feel like you could do whatever you wanted to without feeling like you had to stay because of money.”

“I don’t know what to say Luke. I don’t think anyone has ever loved me or cared about me as much as you do.” I felt fresh tears glisten in my eyes.

“I want the world for you Lexi.” He kissed me again and stared into the very depths of my soul. I felt my heart singing out in joy that I had been so lucky to have found the best man in the world.