The Love Trials 3 (The Love Trials 3)

“It worked perfectly.” He sighed. “I was waiting for someone to ask to see the body, but nobody did. I was hoping that would put a stop to the madness.”

“It worked out perfectly. It was the seed of doubt I planted in Nancy’s head about her father being the murderer that made her start to doubt herself.”

“You ruined that girls’ relationship with her father, Jaxon.”

“It’s fine.” I sighed, trying to ignore the guilt. “I told her I thought it was you, after all.”

“Why do you have to keep lying?”

“It was the only way, you know that. You know I love you, but what Brandon Hastings did was wrong. Yeah, so dad wasn’t in the best business. That was no excuse for Brandon to ruin his life. All he does is ruin lives. Now I’m going to ruin his.”

“What about Nancy?”

“What about her?” I ignored the dart of pain that sprang through my heart. “This isn’t about her.”

“You don’t think she’s going to be hurt?”

“She’ll be fine, especially when she realizes that Hunter is still alive.”

“You know that girl doesn’t care about him.” He sighed. “And even after my coaching, it was pretty obvious for all to see that Hunter doesn’t remember her.”

“He was an idiot.” I sighed. “It was a mistake to keep him around for so long, he nearly blew the whole thing.”

“You needed him to set the whole thing in action.”

“That’s true. He and Frank will be rewarded.” I nodded grimly. “Without Frank, none of this would have been possible.”

“I know. I owe him a lot.”

“And Nancy owes him nothing.”

“We’re getting what we’ve always wanted.”

“This isn’t what I wanted, Jaxon. I never wanted this.” I knew he was tired and frustrated.

“I’ve come this far. I’m not backing out now.” I hung up the phone and ignored the dart of anxiety that shot through me. I couldn’t doubt myself now. I hadn’t hurt anyone. I hadn’t killed someone. I’d told a few lies. A few lies and that was it. I was nearly a part of the Hastings Corporation. Once I married Nancy I’d be in. I could bring down the whole family. I’d ruin Brandon as he’d ruined my dad. I smiled bitterly at the thought of how easy it had been to distract him. He was so blinded by his love for Katie that he’d backed off as soon as I’d told him that I’d tell her the truth about why our relationship had ended. He’d even believed that I’d gotten Nancy pregnant. If he’d done any digging at all, he would have known that Katie wouldn’t have cared and Nancy and I hadn’t even slept together yet. That was why it had been so important for me to put doubts in Nancy’s mind. I couldn’t have her talking to her father. She needed to doubt him. I didn’t even need to have her believe my story 100%. I’d just needed her to believe it enough to ensure that she needed time to think and process.

Everything had worked so perfectly. Maybe too perfectly. Nancy had complete and utter trust in me. She believed that I was a lost soul. She believed that I could be saved. I suppose it was her youth. She was too young to understand that sometimes people were just bad. I felt horrible that I was the one that was imparting this knowledge to her, but she had to learn at some point. I walked to the door and stopped. I thought about what my uncle had said. I didn’t have to go through with this. I could back out now. I could make up some excuse and just leave it alone. I opened the door slowly and walked down the stairs and waited for Nancy. I couldn’t afford to be weak now. I’d come too close to change my plans at the last moment.

My heart stopped beating when Nancy walked down the stairs. She looked even more beautiful than I’d imagined she’d look. She looked like an angel all in white. I couldn’t believe that she’d found a wedding dress so quickly. Though, she wasn’t a bridezilla, so I shouldn’t have been shocked that she’d found something she’d liked at the first store she’d entered.

“You look beautiful.” I whispered up at her and she smiled at me with wide happy eyes.

“You look very handsome, Jaxon.” She grabbed my hands and held them in hers. “You look very, very handsome.”

“Let’s go do this thing.” I frowned and turned away from her. I didn’t need her making me feel bad. Already, I was started to feel funny inside. This whole situation didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel right. All I could think about was the conversation we’d had a couple of days previously about how much she trusted me and how happy she was now that she didn’t have to feel alone. We drove to the courthouse in silence, both of us thinking our own thoughts about what was going to happen.

I looked over at her as we got out of the car and she gave me a small awkward smile. It took me back to the first time I’d seen her on the train. She was vulnerable. She wanted to be loved. She was a wounded butterfly. As we walked to the courthouse I knew that there would be no turning back for me if I went through with the wedding. As she kept giving me small smiles and quick furtive glances, I realized that Nancy was truly excited. She was truly excited and she was falling in love with me. I knew it as well as I knew my own name. I knew that her heart was beating to a different beat because my heart was as well. I had fallen in love with her. I’d tried to deny it. I didn’t want it. I didn’t deserve it, but I was in love with her. There was no way that I couldn’t love her. She’d given herself to me in every way and she’d believed in me, when everything told her not to. She loved me and I loved her and this was our wedding day and the most ironic part of it was the fact that loving her meant I had to walk away. It just didn’t seem fair, that I’d come this far and I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. If I married Nancy, it would signal the end of her fathers’ company, because I was going to take it down. She’d hate me and feel used and we’d both be heartbroken. If I walked away, it would mean that I loved her enough to not bring her father down, but then she’d be so heartbroken by my rejection that it would be over either way. I had two choices and both of them were awful. It came down to what I wanted most. Did I want to honor my fathers’ name and bring down the man responsible for his death or did I want to honor my heart and my love for Nancy and walk away because I knew that was best for her. I was minutes away from being married to her and I had no idea what I was going to do.

***

“Do you take Nancy Hastings to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The priest spoke loudly and clearly, nodding at me with a small smile as he waited for my answer. I stared at him for a second, my voice mute and my heart beating. I knew that whatever I decided to do would mean the downfall of someone.

As I stood there, I thought to myself that the question shouldn’t be what would you do for love? The question should be what wouldn’t you do? What wouldn’t you do means a whole lot more. Trust me, I know. For love I’d walk to hell and back. I’d climb a mountain. I’d swim an ocean. I’d jump over valleys and swing through jungles. For love, I’d give my life. But that’s not the question upon me now. The question upon me now, is would I walk away? Would I leave her standing at the altar because I love her? Did I love her enough to not marry her? That my dears, is the ultimate question and I had no idea what to do.

I looked at Nancy then, standing in her white wedding dress and I knew in that moment that marrying her wouldn’t be right. It would be the ultimate betrayal of everything I stood for and everything she’d given me.

“No.” I spoke loudly and clearly. I could see the shock in the priests face and the hurt in Nancy’s eyes. “No.” I said again and took a step back. “I can’t marry you, Nancy. I’m sorry.” I hurried out of the courthouse then, my heart pounding and my head racing. I had to leave. I had to leave now and never come back. All I could see was the hurt expression in her eyes. I wanted to tell her why. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I knew that would mean nothing. The truth was even worse. To know that she’d put her faith and trust in someone that had lied to her the whole time, would be the nail in my coffin. I had to leave. That was all I could do. I had to leave and hope that her memories of me would be positive ones at the end of the day. I had to pray that I hadn’t broken her. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I’d broken her. I knew as I ran down the street that revenge didn’t mean anything when it came to true love. True love and the heart of someone special would always be more important. I only hoped that I hadn’t learned my lesson too late. I knew my heart would be forever broken. I only hoped that I hadn’t ruined Nancy’s trust and faith in humans forever.

Chapter Ten

Nancy

Two Months Later

“I don’t want you to go to college.” Harry grabbed my hand as we walked into my dorm room. “I want you to stay at home.”

“I know but I’ll be home soon.” I picked him up and hugged him. “I promise I’ll call and I’ll visit you.”

“I love you, Nancy.” He kissed my cheek. “I don’t want you to go.” His eyes grew wide and his lips started to pucker.

“I know baby.” I sighed and handed him to Katie who smiled at me sweetly.

“Let me walk you guys outside.” I looked at my dad and Katie and they nodded. I knew that they were hesitant to leave me here by myself. I knew that they were worried about me, especially my dad. He had so much guilt about what happened with Jaxon. And he had so much guilt about how he’d abandoned me growing up. Some days it helped to know he felt bad, but other days it didn’t stop the gnawing pain. My therapist said that was normal. She said that this wasn’t an issue that was just going to go away. She’d even spoken to Brandon. She told him that he needed to understand that his actions had truly hurt me and that even though he was in my life now, there were 18 years that he’d missed and we’d never be able to get that back. He’d cried then. He’d cried and I’d cried and we’d hugged.

I knew he was sorry for what had happened and I knew that he loved me, but it still didn’t fill the void. I hadn’t told them everything that had happened with Jaxon. I still didn’t really understand what had happened, but he’d just disappeared. It was almost like that whole situation had been a dream. I told Meg some of it and she’d hugged me. She’d told me I’d meet plenty of boys in college. What could I say to that? I didn’t want to meet other men. I just wanted the one man. I wanted Jaxon. I took a deep breath as I walked out to the car with my family. I didn’t want to think about Jaxon, this was a new start for me. I’d been wrong about him. He wasn’t the one. He wasn’t my soul mate. I had to live with that.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Brandon hugged me and I hugged him back, kissing him on the cheek as he held me close to him. He’d asked me a couple of questions about what had happened with Jaxon. He’s mentioned something about a baby and marriage. I’d laughed it off and he hadn’t asked much else. It had hurt that he hadn’t tried to pry more. It was just a further indication that his love for Katie was greater than his love for me. I tried to ignore the pain that came whenever I thought about how much he loved Katie. I wasn’t even jealous of the fact. Not really. I just wished that I had it myself. I wished that Jaxon and I had that love. I wanted him to want me more than life itself. I sighed again as I waved Brandon, Katie, and Harry off. I needed to get over it. I didn’t have Jaxon and I never would.

I walked back to my dorm room slowly, feeling sorry for myself. I should have been excited that I was starting a new journey in my life, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t excited at all. All I could think was, this is it, this is the rest of my life and I’m never going to be as happy or as excited as the time I was at the Lovers’ Academy. I walked into my room and sat on my bed and stared at my suitcase. I knew I should start unpacking before my roommate got there.

KNOCK KNOCK.

“Coming.” I sighed and walked over to the door. I plastered a smile on my face, ready to meet my new roommate. “Hi, I’m Nancy.” I said as I opened the door.

“Hi Nancy.” His eyes were dark and he wasn’t smiling, yet he still looked wonderful.

“Jaxon.” I looked at him in shock. “What…”

“You like it when people knock first right?” He gave me a small smile and walked into the room.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again.” I whispered as I stared at him in shock. “You just left me at the altar.”

“I left you because I loved you.”

“That makes no sense.” I shook my head, my heart beating fast. “You should leave.” I took a step away from him. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t play this game.

“I can’t leave, Nancy.” He took a step towards me and smiled.

“Why not?”

“I can’t leave because I’m your teacher.” He grinned and lightly touched my face. “As your teacher, I have to continue with your lessons until I’m sure you’re ready to graduate.”

“What happens when I graduate?” I whispered.

“When you graduate you marry me.” His hands ran across the top of my head.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He nodded, his eyes full of love and devotion. My heart melted as I saw his look. It was the same look that my dad gave Katie whenever he saw her.