The Fangover (The Fangover 1)

“Your phone,” Katie said, pointing to the floor beside his stool.

The bird stood on the edge of the bar, bobbing its head and looking quite pleased with itself.

Cort rose from his stool, then bent down to pick up the phone. He shoved it in his pocket, suddenly feeling too frustrated to deal with any of this. All they were doing was going around in circles. For everything they did find out about last night, there was just another question.

And he was sick of it.

He couldn’t fix Katie being a vampire. But he could fix the marriage situation. And as far as whatever else happened, he didn’t give a shit. They’d go find the damned priest, find out about an annulment, and things would go back to normal as much as they could.

“Okay, we have to go,” he stated, his tone so gruff that even Betty didn’t argue this time. And of course, if Betty didn’t argue, Ed wouldn’t think of it.

Katie, however, looked surprised by his sudden change of mood. Her brow creased slightly, and now she studied him. Even the bird stopped its pleased head bobbing and spread its wings and cawed loudly, as if to share opposition to the idea. Adding to that, it tottered back to its drink.

“Screw that, buddy,” he muttered to the bird. “You are done, too.”

He reached for the feathered bastard, which pecked him, yet again. Cort snatched his hand away, shaking out the sharp pain.

“Then stay here, you ass**le,” he growled lowly to the beast, and he reached for the Elvis cookie jar instead.

Remembering they had drinks to pay for, he shoved his free, non-injured hand into his pocket.

“We’ve got the drinks.”

Cort’s attention shot back to the older couple, startled. It had been Ed who offered to pay. Maybe he did make decisions in the relationship after all.

“Thank you,” Cort said, giving the man a genuine nod of appreciation.

“Are you ready?” Cort said to Katie.

She nodded, still looking confused by his sudden need to leave. Betty insisted on hugging them both again. Finally, Cort gestured for Katie to go ahead of him, then they both started toward the door.

“Oh, your bird,” Betty called.

Cort turned to tell them that bird wasn’t his and he could stay right where he was, but the bird took that moment to decide he, too, was leaving after all.

The parrot flapped its wings and swooped off the bar, navigating the narrow room without incident to land right on Cort’s shoulder.

The few patrons in the bar applauded as if the bird had done some amazing feat of acrobatics.

Cort nodded in a very feeble attempt to be gracious, then he stepped out onto Bourbon Street.

“Next time you peck me, buddy, you are going straight to the pound,” he muttered to the winged beast.

The parrot bobbed its head in antagonistic response.

Chapter Thirteen

TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN

“WHAT?” Wyatt grabbed the phone from Stella, mortified. He winced when he saw the image of himself, grinning the smile of the very drunk, his hair looking insane. He had taken off his T-shirt and put on Trudy the bartender’s corset. His chest was shoved up and spilling out the top. It was horrifying. “Nigel is right. Red is not my color.”

“And you look fat,” Drake commented with a crack of laughter.

“Why would I do that?” It just didn’t seem like his brand of fun, but if the guys had egged him on, it was possible. He just wished he could remember because it did look like they’d been having fun. Vampires cutting loose.

“I have no idea. Nor do I understand why Saxon is riding the mechanical bull.” Stella turned the phone and showed them Saxon holding on to the bull for dear life, Drake crouched down on the mat in front of it like he was spurring the fake animal on.

Wyatt laughed. “What the hell? Is that the Bourbon Cowboy? We never go to that place.”

“Am I the bullfighter?” Drake shook his head. “Why do I have the feeling the bull won?”

“Oh, he did.” Stella swiped her finger on the screen and they watched the progression of Saxon losing control and flying into the air while Drake raised his fist, mouth open on a yell. Then Saxon hit Drake as he fell, knocking him forward into the horns. In the next picture, he was holding his bloody mouth and they were both laughing. “You didn’t exactly take the bull by the horns.”

“I think we have an explanation for how you lost your tooth.” Wyatt shook his head. “Man, we’re idiots. Is there any video, Stella?”

Drake rubbed his jaw. “Seriously? I lost my fang on a mechanical bull? That’s not a good story. That’s lame.”

“It’s not like you fell and chipped it on your toilet,” Stella told him. “That would be lame.”

“No, that would be gross.”

“Here’s a video.” Stella held the phone out again so they could all see the screen. “What magical moment are we about to witness now?”

The camera was bouncing around, whoever held it not exactly steady, as the clip played. The back of Saxon’s head was in view, and not much else. The music of the street faded in and out as the cameraman walked, though Wyatt couldn’t pinpoint where exactly they were.

“Well, this is stupid,” Drake remarked.

“Seriously. Who taped this? I’m assuming Benny, right?”

“I guess,” Stella said. “It’s his phone. But then again, you all weren’t exactly behaving the way you normally do. How did Benny even end up hanging out with you guys in the first place?”

“I have no idea.” That was the real mystery, in Wyatt’s opinion. He couldn’t imagine any of them just dragging Benny into their group to hang out for the night. Especially dressed in a priest’s robe.

“Congratulations! Whooo!” a random female voice screamed out.

Saxon’s head moved slightly out of the way and they saw Katie, the mortal Cort had apparently turned the night before, smiling and waving. “Thanks!” she yelled back. When she turned, they all saw the JUST MARRIED pageant sash she was wearing. And heard Benny’s bodyless voice call out, “I married them!”

Well, that explained a thing or two. Wyatt glanced over at Stella. “I guess we should call Cort and tell him he’s not really married. I don’t think Benny is a minister of anything.”

Stella gave a small laugh. “Minister of muscles, maybe.”

Why did Benny’s muscles have to come up? Wyatt shook his head. “Still doesn’t explain why Katie is now a vampire and why Benny was even with us in the first place.”