Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys 4)

I nodded, smiling.

He caught my expression in the air and placed it near his heart. He hadn’t done that in years.

And for the first time, it gave me hope that everything was going to be okay.

Chapter 30

Briggs

“Please… please… please… baby… just give me one hit to take the edge off… just one fucking hit… I’m dying, Briggs… I feel like I’m fucking dying…” Austin wailed.

Two days went by, but it felt more like an eternity. I hated seeing him in so much pain. The withdrawals crippling him in ways I never thought were possible.

“Baby… just let me have a taste… just a taste… it hurts… it fucking hurts…” he slurred, grinding his teeth and shaking to the core.

It didn’t matter if I put three layers of blankets on him, he couldn’t stop shivering. His body was convulsing and he was in and out between hot and cold sweats.

I was sitting on the bed with my back against the headboard. Austin’s head was on my lap, his arms securely wrapped around my waist. He was sweating profusely as if he had just stood in the pouring rain. His body trembling so hard that it vibrated the entire bed.

I was lightly rubbing his head, trying my best to ease his discomfort. Anytime I touched any other place on his body he said my skin felt like daggers against his sensitive flesh.

That stung my heart, but I knew it was the withdrawals talking.

“Baby! Please, please! I’m fucking dying! It hurts… everything fucking hurts… please, just a taste,” he groaned in pure agony, punching his legs from the intense muscle spasms.

Arching his back then contracting into a ball like a possessed man.

“Austin… shhh… you’re okay… you’re okay… come on… I know… baby…” I soothed the best I could, knowing it didn’t mean anything.

“I’m going to get a cold rag, okay? I’ll be right—”

“No! Don’t leave me!” he panicked.

He wouldn’t let me out of his sight, no matter what I said. We had moved from the couch to the bathroom where he laid with his head on my lap on the tile floor for the first few hours, throwing up constantly once the drugs wore off. At one point I just sat him against the bathtub to let him puke in there. His body was so weak he couldn’t crawl to the toilet. I don’t know how he still had shit coming up.

I was in and out of consciousness, not wanting to leave him alone, although his physical distress wouldn’t allow me to anyway.

I used to lie awake counting the freckles and scars on his arms that he always laid across me. Holding me tight against his body. Now I counted the tracks on them, which were almost physically impossible to see under his tattooed sleeves. All the colors, shadings, and inks covering what our reality had become for the last year.

Austin hadn’t slept at all, the extreme pain keeping him from being able to drift off. Insomnia set in fast and with no remorse, keeping him wide awake to feel every ounce of withdrawal. His body was craving the drugs that it had been living on for years. I knew opiate and heroin were the worst withdrawals. I just never imagined that watching it would kill me as much as the drugs were killing him.

Terrified he wouldn’t make it through the night.

And the addiction would win.

It was like that for two more days. Same old shit just a different day. Both of us were so fucking exhausted. I was able to get him to eat some crackers and drink some water, and for the most part it stayed down. He had no energy. Even when I would help him walk around our apartment for a few minutes every few hours just to get his muscles to move. It seemed to help with the cramping and spasms.

By the fifth day it looked like we were passed the worst. I saw light at the end of the tunnel again.

At least physically.

Mentally he was so out of it, but I knew a big part of it was from him not sleeping. I crushed up two sleeping pills in his water without him knowing and even that took several hours to finally kick in.

I took a hot shower for the first time since we got home from the bridge. I stayed in there letting the hot water drown out my sorrows. Trying to cling on to hope, praying to God we would make it through this.

That he would make it through this.

Austin took the first step by flushing every last drug we had in the apartment down the toilet. He was fine for like twelve hours before the withdrawal crept in slowly then it just took the fuck over.

I had never seen that many emotions take over a person’s body before. Why anyone would do this to themselves was beyond me. I just prayed that the pain was enough to keep Austin sober.

Enough to keep his demons at bay.

One thing was for sure, there was no way we could stay in this apartment, possibly even New York. There was no way we could continue this lifestyle and Austin make it out alive. At that point in time, my uncle never questioned what the fuck was going on, but he had to assume. Austin hadn't been around or answering his phone. I would be lying if I said it didn’t shock me that he just didn’t show up at our apartment demanding to know what was going on.

I placed my memory blanket on top of Austin, careful not to wake him. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and went outside, leaving the balcony door cracked in case he woke up.

It rang two times before he answered.

“I’ve been expecting your call,” Uncle answered.

I took a deep breath. “Hello to you too, Uncle.”

“How is he?”

Shaking my head in disgust. I scoffed out, “You knew?”

“Briggs, there’s very little I don’t know when it comes to my fucking business, and even then, I always find out.”

“And you still had him dealing? Even though you knew? What the fuck is wrong with you? When are you going to start—?”

He completely ignored my questions. “He’s a grown-ass man. I’m not his keeper—”

“You were mine. But seeing as you did such an amazing job of raising me, I guess I couldn’t expect any less.”

I shook my head, once again disappointed by the turn in events.

“Tell me, Uncle… if you didn’t want me, then why did you take me in? Why not just leave me in foster care? My parents didn’t have a will. It’s not like you were obligated. So, why? Why go through all the trouble and burden to raise me if you didn’t want me?” I asked for the first time, needing the answer to the question that consumed my very being since the day he brought me back to his penthouse.

“We’re family, Briggs. You’re my niece whether you want to be or not. No matter what you think of me, I would never turn my back on my family. Ever,” he spoke with conviction.

“You have a very deluded sense of the word family, Uncle.”

“I raised you the only way I knew how,” he rasped out almost in a sad tone I’d never heard before, causing me to jerk back from the sudden emotion in his voice.

“Do you even love me?” I blurted, raising my eyebrows as soon as the question left my mouth.

He didn’t falter. “I loved your mother, and you’re a part of her,” he simply stated.

“I stopped trying to understand you fucking decades ago. But if you want to finally do something for me, then you’ll let us go. If he has any chance of living a normal life, I need to get him out of here. Away from you.”

Silence.

“Please… please… Uncle.”

I would beg him on my hands and knees if I needed to.

“You will always be my niece, Briggs, and I will always be your uncle… in any life you choose,” he forewarned and immediately hung up before I had the chance to say anything.

I didn’t give it anymore thought, walking back into the apartment I looked over at a sleeping Austin.

Finally feeling hopeful.

Austin

I woke up at the crack of dawn with a sleeping Briggs in my arms. I couldn’t remember the last time I watched her sleep. She was usually out of bed before me and that was if she even slept at all.

She was lying on my arm, curled around it like a stuffed animal. Her memory blanket placed on top of both of us.

She was a sight for sore fucking eyes.

She looked like an angel with her hair spread out on the pillow and her pink pouty lip that she loved to bite was sticking out.

Damn, I was a lucky son of a bitch.

It had been over two weeks since I stopped using. I wasn’t even taking pain pills. And I owed it all to the woman in my arms. For the first time in over a decade I was completely sober.

It was the craziest fucking feeling. Ever.

It was like I had been on a roller coaster for years and it finally came to a halt. Except I couldn’t find my balance no matter where or how I stood, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t scare me. There were triggers all around me.

Fuck, this apartment alone was a trigger.

A part of me felt like I was just living in the gray area, hoping that I would soon find the black or white. I didn’t want to relapse. I swear on my love for Briggs that I wanted to stay sober, but it was such unfamiliar territory for me.

As if it were a new world, one that I hadn’t existed in since before my car accident. Somewhere along the way I let the darkness and the demons, creep in through the cracks.

I never thought people could become so weak to the point of letting anything control their lives. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever become one of them. I knew I was slowly killing myself from the first time that needle went into my arm. There was no going back for me. There was no going forward either. I was at a standstill with no place to go but down into the dark abyss of addiction.

Being able to see our baby girl didn’t help, all it did was add fuel to my already burning fire. Taking down everything in its wake.

Including Briggs.

She was burning alive because I was already dead.

I couldn’t even remember the last time I touched her, the last time I fucking tasted her, or the last time we fucked. Let alone made love. I used to pretty much live inside, her day in and day out. It was my favorite place to be. Buried balls deep inside her.

I could see her nipples through the cream color satin of her tank top that had rose up while she slept. I softly caressed her stomach with my knuckles, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She felt like silk against my fingers as I slowly made my way down to the edge of her panties, slipping my fingers into her warm welcoming heat.

She stirred, and her body told me to keep going even though her eyes were still closed. My fingers moved slowly at first, and with each elevated breath that escaped from her lips, I moved them faster and more precise.

She moaned, fluttering her eyes open.

“What’s going—”

I pushed my fingers into her opening. Her head rolled back against the pillow, and her back arched off the bed.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I groaned, watching her come undone time and time again. My thumb played with her clit while I continued to fuck her with my fingers, wanting nothing more than to make her come for me. I intercepted her hand and placed it above her head when it moved toward my cock.

“No, baby. Let me take care of you,” I murmured.

“I want to take care of you too,” she panted.

“All you do is take care of me.”

“Austin,” she whimpered as I thrust my fingers in again.

“Open your eyes, baby. Let me see those blue eyes.”

She did just as I hit her g-spot harder and with more determination. I let go of her hand to grab onto her hip for leverage. Thrusting harder and harder.

“I love you, Daisy. I love you so fucking much.”

That was her undoing. Her pussy clamped down, riding out her orgasm against my fingers. And I loved every last second of it.

“We need to talk, babe,” I coaxed before I lost the nerve. “We need to go. We need a fresh start. I can’t stay—”

“I know. No more running away, Austin. I think it’s time that you went back home.”

I frowned, lowering my eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean I need to go back home? I’m not fucking living without you, Daisy. You are my home.”

“Calm down. I meant with me. I think we could make a really nice life in Oak Island. I loved it there, and it’s where your family and friends are. I want that. I want that more than anything else. To be apart of the place you used to call home.”

I took a deep breath, contemplating what she said. I could see it in her eyes. Everything she just shared was something that she really wanted.

After all those years, after everything I put her through, put us through.

I would give her the world if I could.

Even if it meant going back home.

Chapter 31

Austin

We moved back to Oak Island a few days ago, and I was still unsure about being back in the place I tried so hard to forget. We didn’t exactly have a welcoming committee either. I’d been sober for a little over two months and I wasn’t going to lie, it was a daily struggle. My back pain was still alive and fucking thriving. I ignored it. I just tried to stay busy, and with Briggs by my side it was fairly easy to do.

Briggs said she settled everything with her uncle before we left. I was stunned when she told me that he was just letting us go with no repercussions, but she said it was behind us and that was the end of the conversation. We left all our belongings in New York besides some of our clothes. She didn’t even take most of her wardrobe with us, saying that her uncle was the reason she bought half that shit anyway. I took some of my clothes but not much either.

We both wanted a fresh start.

We found a furnished apartment on the beach to rent in the meantime. She said she wanted to find us the perfect house and that would take us some time. I honestly didn’t give a fuck where we lived as long as it kept that smile on her face.

I wish I could tell you that I was miraculously cured and that the craving to use had gone away.

It didn’t.

Oak Island was a living and breathing trigger by itself for me. When I called my mom to tell her we were moving back home, to say that she was excited would have been an understatement. She was actually the one who picked us up from the airport and drove us to our apartment. My dad was nowhere to be seen, but she said he was working. I knew in my heart that was just a bullshit excuse. He was the boss, he could come and go as he pleased.

He just didn’t care to see me.

My mom and Briggs seemed to hit it off. Talking about random shit and laughing like they were old friends catching up. Briggs looked happy for the first time in years, and that’s all that mattered to me.

We’d been getting everything situated to begin our new lives. We bought a car, groceries, and little things we needed for our apartment.

Normal daily life kind of stuff and the concept still seemed so fucking foreign to me.

We hadn’t seen the boys or Alex yet but that was about to change. Lucas and Alex found their way back to each other and the inevitable happened. They had gotten married a few years back. Half-Pint gave birth to their first baby three months ago. A little boy they named Bo. They were throwing a party at their house for their son and for Jacob and I moving back to Oak Island.

The good ol’ boys would be together again.

A part of me missed them, the bond and brotherhood we had. Lucas was the first one to call me after I told my mom we were moving back. She gave him my number. Neither one of us mentioned what happened in the past as if the memories stayed there. Buried. Thank fucking God. I didn’t think I could live near him if he still hated me.

“What if they don’t like me?” Briggs asked for the tenth time on our way to the party, looking at herself again in the visor mirror.

“Baby, they already know you,” I chuckled, grabbing her hand and placing it on my lap as I drove.

“I know but that was under a really sad circumstance. We exchanged maybe five words the enti

re time, so that doesn't count. They really know nothing about me at all.”

“They’re going to love you. I love you, so there is that.”

“Maybe I should dye my hair? Like a normal color now.”

I glanced over at her. “You’re not touching one hair on your goddamn head, baby.”

She beamed. “I just look so different from everyone around here. Did you see the way the cashier looked at me this morning?”

“Yes. And if he looks at you like that again, I’ll break his fucking face.”

“Austin! He thought I was weird looking!”

“He thought you were something alright, and trust me ‘weird looking’ wasn’t it.”

She sighed, leaning back into her seat.

“I’m covered in tattoos, and in New York I blended in. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here.”

“You never blend in anywhere, Briggs.” I grinned at her. “Besides I’m covered in tattoos, too. You’re beautiful. I love that you don’t look like anyone here. My friends and family are going to love you. I mean, my mom already does.”

She smiled. “I like her too. She emailed me all these recipes that you used to love as a kid. I’m going to make you some.”

I kissed her hand.

We were the last ones to arrive at Lucas and Alex’s house that was right on the water. Everyone welcomed Briggs with open arms, making her feel like she was part of the family. I knew that meant a lot to her since she always felt like she didn’t belong anywhere.

“Baby, I’m going to get some food,” I told her, standing up.

She nodded, talking to Alex. I kissed her cheek and walked inside from the lanai.

“So, how are you doing, bro?” Jacob asked, grabbing some food beside me.

“Never better. You?”

I caught him staring right at Lily, completely ignoring my question. It was quick but I saw it.

“Is that right?” I asked, bringing his attention back to me.