Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys 4)

“What?” I replied, confused.

“Jesus Christ. Take a cold fucking shower. We need to talk. I’ll be waiting in your sorry excuse of a fucking living room.”

Two and a half years? Is that really how long it’s been?

I wiped the sleep from my face, and grabbed the t-shirt I had worn the night before off the ground, pulling it over my head. I took some pain pills from my nightstand, swallowing them down whole with no water. Once they kicked in, it didn’t take me long to get ready.

“You should really consider moving into a nicer apartment complex. All it took to persuade your landlord to let me in was a hundred dollar bill,” Martinez informed as I grabbed a Red Bull from the fridge.

Drinking it down in three swigs, I crushed the can then threw it on the counter.

“I’m surprised he didn’t take a twenty, you got ripped off. I apologize if my accommodations aren’t what you’re used to. I could meet you at the fucking country club up the road. That's where your breed goes to hang around these parts. You can talk to my parents. I’m sure they would love you,” I sarcastically remarked.

“I’m not here for pleasant conversation, Austin.”

“Then why the fuck are you here?”

“To save your sorry excuse of a life.”

“A little late for that,” I scoffed out.

He eyed me up and down from where he stood against my wall, before pulling something out from the inside of his suit jacket. He threw an envelope on the counter in front of us. The contents slipped out just enough to see. It took me a second to realize that they were pictures. Some were from the club when I first saw Briggs again. After I found out she was a drug dealer. Others were from our trips around the world.

“Briggs is very special to me. I love her very fucking much.”

We locked eyes and I jerked back, stunned. He folded his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side with a snide smile.

“Don’t look so fucking surprised. She’s hard not to love. As you well know. I watched you and kept tabs on you because I didn’t fucking trust you. As far as I knew, you were some punk-ass motherfucker, taking advantage of my niece. I tolerated you because it made her happy. Then you proved yourself worthy of her love with the incident in Colombia. You would kill for her, and a man like me can respect that about a man like you. A man who knew nothing about what he was getting himself into. But you stayed just to protect her.”

“I love her,” I simply stated.

“You need to get your shit together. You’re a fucking junkie. Look around.” He gestured to the shithole I called home. “Is this how you want to live or is this where you plan to die? You would think losing the one thing that mattered to you the most would straighten your ass out, but all its done is the fucking opposite. You’re a goddamn fuck-up, Austin.”

“Oh, I’m the fuck-up? What about you, Martinez? Do you know how fucked up you made Briggs?” I paused, waiting for him to say something, but he didn’t.

He just stood there with a knowing expression.

“That’s what I thought. You’re nothing but a fucking pussy behind expensive suits.”

Before I knew what was happening, he was over to me in three strides, grabbing me by the shirt.

“You cocky son of a bitch, you have no idea who the fuck you’re talking to,” he gritted out, practically spitting in my face.

He slammed my back into the wall. I hit it with a hard thud.

“You’re lucky I’m even here. The only reason I am is because I fucking owe you. You brought life into Briggs again. Something I had never known how to do. Her mother would want me to at least try to help you, motherfucker. Now, get your shit together before it’s too late.”

With that he let me go, stepping away from me. I slid down the wall, crouching over and rubbing the back of my neck. I hated to admit it, but he was right. It was also easier said than done.

“Where is she? I’ve been—”

“You’ve been what? Not doing a damn thing, but drowning in your own fucking shit that you created by getting high? You think she deserves a man like that? You think your children, your babies would? I’m only going to tell you this once. One. Fucking. Time. She’s moving to Myrtle Beach because for some reason that I can’t fucking fathom, she loves the Carolinas. Get your life in order before it’s too late and there is no life to fucking save.”

He threw a piece of paper on the counter, turning around to leave.

“Do you know?” I asked, stopping him dead in his tracks.

Needing confirmation. He spun to face me again. Looking me dead in the eyes. He didn’t falter.

“Kids aren’t in the cards for me, but I can only imagine what it would feel like to lose one. With or without my consent.”

He turned around and left without so much as a second glance. I immediately grabbed the paper, realizing he left me with her address. I grabbed my phone and keys, mentally preparing for whatever the fuck I had to do to get her back. I was in my car and driving to her house with hope in my heart that the reason she was moving to Myrtle Beach was to be close to me. It was only an hour away.

I couldn’t live without her any longer. I’d barely been living since she left me. Slowly killing myself with thoughts of her through a needle in my vein. I would do anything it took to be with her again. I’d go to rehab, live in a sober living community, fuck even just be her goddamn friend if that’s what it took for her to trust me again.

I knew she still loved me as much as I loved her. She was mine. End of story.

I sped the entire way there with a heavy heart and a guilty conscience. Ready to beg for her forgiveness, her mercy.

Her fucking love.

I followed a car into her gated community. She lived in the suburbs of Myrtle Beach. One of those neighborhoods that looked like it came straight out of one of her books that she use to read. There were kids playing outside everywhere, laughing and smiling. Not a care in this corrupted world. It calmed the anxiety I felt all around me.

“One-zero-six Oak Field Drive on the right in one-hundred feet,” the GPS informed.

I decided to leave my car at the park down the street. I didn’t want her to see me coming. I thought it would be better to surprise her. Not allowing her to have time to not answer the door. I grabbed my burgundy beanie off the seat, taking one last look at myself in the visor mirror. I looked like I hadn’t slept in months, but she used to love this beanie on me.

My mind raced with thoughts of what to say to her, with each step that brought me closer to her house. Praying that she would at least talk to me. After all this time she would give me a chance to make things right again.

I saw the moving trucks in her driveway and on the street before I found her. My eyes wandered everywhere trying to spot her amongst the workers.

Waiting to see my girl.

My Daisy.

And just like that she appeared, my angel walked down the ramp of the moving truck with a few small boxes in her arms. My eyes widened and my breathing hitched, staring at a woman that I didn’t recognize. That I didn’t know. I shook my head and blinked a few times, thinking it was my fucked up mind playing tricks on me.

It wasn’t.

Her hair was a deep shade of brown. Like the vibrant purple that I’d loved had never existed. The new color made her blue eyes stand out more, but they weren’t bright and shining or full of life. I couldn’t see any of her tattoos. They were all covered up by one of those prissy fucking sweaters she always hated. She wore it over a buttoned-up blouse and black slacks. She was still breathtakingly beautiful, but she was no longer my girl. No reminisce of the woman I had spent years with existed anymore.

“The fuck?” I whispered to myself, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Did Martinez send me here to rip my fucking heart out all over again? Did he do this on purpose?

She smiled, big and wide. I didn’t have to follow her gaze to figure out what was causing her to smile. The

same smile that would make me catch her expression in the air and place it near my heart.

My heart fucking dropped.

I stopped breathing.

Everything played out in slow motion as if I were in one of those black and white movies. My whole world and everything I so desperately wanted to believe in came tumbling down on me with no remorse or compassion.

He grabbed the back of her neck, bringing her lips to kiss his. She went effortlessly, kissing him with the same love she once kissed me with.

She smiled against his lips, as he softly pecked hers again, grabbing the boxes out of her hands. He said something that made her laugh. Her head fell back, making her body shake. I could hear her laughter in my head from all the times I made her come undone.

My feet moved of their own accord to hide behind the moving truck. Needing to hear what they were saying as if seeing her with another man wasn’t enough for me to realize the truth of what Martinez was trying to warn me.

“So that was your fee for helping me with the boxes, wasn’t it?”

“Of course. Men need to be rewarded, Daisy.”

I immediately shut my eyes, leaning my forehead and hands against the side of the truck for support. Trying to reel in my fury. Feeling like I just took a goddamn bullet to my fucking heart. Nothing could ever compare to the hurt I was drowning in right at that moment. The hole in the ground that was swallowing me alive.

“Well…”

I opened my eyes when I heard her voice again, continuing to watch my nightmare unfold before me.

“There’s still a shit-ton of boxes left in the truck. I might run out of rewards for you,” she flirted, twirling her now brown hair around her finger.

“I’m sure I can come up with other ways for you to repay me, baby. One that requires you to get down on your knees.”

She giggled like a fucking schoolgirl.

I resisted the urge to lay the motherfucker out right then and there. Fighting back the compelling need to hit something. It took everything in me not to blow my cover and punch a hole in the side of the fucking truck. My teeth clenched and my fists tightened at my sides. My chest heaved as rage coursed through my body, causing me to see nothing but red.

“Oh, really? Is that all I am to you? A piece of ass?”

She softly smiled as he caressed the side of her cheek like I had done a million times. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

Not one damn thing.

My. Rock. Bottom.

“You know what you mean to me, Daisy.”

And just like that…

“I love you,” he sincerely added.

My. Life. Ended.

When hers was just starting…

With Esteban.

Briggs

I sat in the emergency room waiting area with my screen-shattered phone clutched tightly in my grasp. My knee nervously bounced with anticipation, unable to sit still. It felt like I’d been sitting there for days, but in reality it was only a few hours. I got out of my chair a few times, pacing the room, looking out in the hallway at the double doors where Austin was taken back.

Nothing.

Waiting.

My mind raced with thoughts, with guilt, with shame from everything that Dylan had just reminded me of. Bringing back everything that I had worked so hard to push to the back of my conscience. Every last feeling made its presence known. I spent the last two and a half years in therapy with Dr. Holden. Having several breakthroughs in my sessions. Finally believing that his addiction wasn’t my fault. When I saw my phone light up with Dylan’s name, I knew if he was calling me after all this time, something bad had happened. I didn’t answer, I was too terrified. I listened to the voicemail he’d left, asking me if I had talked to or seen Austin. The panic in his tone immediately brought up red flags. Then Austin called a few minutes after and all it took was one fucking phone call to send me spiraling out of control once again.

I hadn’t talked to him since I left Oak Island. I knew if I had, I would have gone back to him and died a little more inside. I needed to heal. I needed to find myself. I needed to learn how to love myself before loving somebody else. He still called me and left voicemails all the time. The text messages were endless. All went unanswered. I started to delete them without hearing or reading a single message. My therapist asked me why I wouldn’t change my phone number and put an end to the problem.

Out of sight, out of mind.

I had yet to give her an honest answer to that question. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t let go. He had a hold on my soul. Something made me answer that particular call tonight. It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. I finally realized that all I’d been doing was waiting.

Knowing that eventually I would answer the phone. I would pick up his call, and he would be on the other end…

Dying.

“Briggs!” Dylan called out, making me look up from my chair.

I stood, swallowing hard as everyone came barreling in through the automatic emergency room doors. The boys, Alex, Lily, and Aubrey came toward me while his parents went straight to the nurse’s station.

“Is it true?” Lucas snapped a few feet away from me.

Alex instantly caught his arm, holding him back.

“I… I… I’m sorry…” I nervously breathed out.

“You’re sorry? That’s your fucking response?” Jacob argued, standing in front of me with an anxious Lily on his arm.

“How long? How long has this been fucking going on?” Lucas roared, bringing my attention back to him.

I shook my head unable to form words. Overwhelmed by all their questions and accusations that were running wild in their heads.

I was to blame here.

I was the outsider.

The enabler.

“Unbelievable. Are you a junkie too? Did you do this to him? Did you make him this way?” he added.

“No! I swear! I tried. I tried every day! I promise you that! I never wanted this. I never wanted to see him like this!” I sincerely replied, my eyes filling with tears.

“Why didn’t you tell us? We could have helped him. We’re his fucking family,” Jacob chimed in.

“He didn’t want anyone to know. He was in recovery for four years, I didn’t think he would relapse and when he did, I didn’t know. The day I found out, I left. Okay? He was lying to me too. I haven’t spoken to him in two-and-a-half years. I swear I didn’t know it was this bad.”

They all jerked back, stunned by my revelation.

“He didn’t tell you? That we weren’t together?”

“He works all the time, Briggs. We knew you guys were having problems, and he told us you went back to New York for a while, but we figured you still spoke and were trying to work things out. You never answered or returned any of my calls. Austin never specified and we just figured…” Alex paused, frowning. “Oh my God. How did I not know this?”

“Austin is really good at making you believe what you want to see,” I simply stated.

“You!” Austin’s dad yelled over everyone, pointing a finger at me. “Did you do this to my son?! Is he in there because of you?! Why didn’t you tell us?! Who the hell do you think you are to hide something like this?! We’re his parents! We deserved to know what was going on!”

“I know I—”

“We treated you like you were our own, like family. How dare you lie to us?” he added with the same fierce tone.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I wallowed, my heart pounding out of my chest.

I didn’t know what to say to them, which only pissed me off further that Austin never told anyone. The shit-storm was falling all on me. Once again his poor decisions were all my fault.

“Get out,” his dad gritted through clenched teeth, aggressively pointing to the emergency room doors.

“Joseph,” his mom coaxed, looking up at his face and then back at me with sympathy in her eyes.

“You don’t belong here. You never did,” he ordered

not paying his wife any mind. “My son is fighting for his life because of you. Now leave before I have you escorted out,” he heaved with anger.

“Me?! How about you?! For always treating Austin like he was never good enough. For being a piece of shit father, and not wanting to accept your son for who he wanted to be. Everyone in this room, including myself, is partially responsible for him being in there,” I honestly spoke, unable to control the truth.

His grimaced. It was quick, but I saw it. “I won’t tell you again. Get the—”

“That’s enough,” Dylan interrupted me, speaking up for the first time since they all arrived.

All eyes were on him, including mine. Realizing quickly that this wasn’t going to end in my favor. I shook my head, turning to leave, defeated.

“I knew,” Dylan declared, making me stop dead in my tracks.

I winced, knowing the truth he was about to share with everyone.

“I’ve always known. He’s been struggling with addiction since the car accident.”

I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath, slowly letting the air escape from my lips.

“Briggs is right. She saved his life more times than any of you could ever possibly know. She deserves to be here more than any of us. I’m sorry, Briggs. I spoke out of anger on the phone. If it wasn’t for you, we would be planning a funeral.”

I spun around to face them once again. Each one of them looked at me. Hatred was replaced with shame and remorse. I was so grateful for Dylan coming to my defense. He could have let them continue to rip me to shreds, but he stepped up, throwing himself under the bus. Aubrey kissed him, pulling him into her arms.

No one spoke after that. No more questions, accusations, anger. We all took a seat awaiting the doctor. They all had someone with them, except me. My someone was lying in a hospital bed, possibly dying.

Even though there was so much to say, it took a backseat.

All we could do now was wait.

Chapter 39

Austin