The Secret (Highlands' Lairds 1)

“Oh? And why is that?”

“You trust me.”

The bluster went out of her anger. Of all the reasons he could have given her, he’d centered on the one she couldn’t argue with. She did trust him, with all her heart.

“You feel safe with me.”

She couldn’t argue with that truth, either. “You know I’ll protect you from harm,” he added with a gentle nod.

Her eyes filled with tears. Dear God, she wished it were possible. “Do you love me, Iain?” she asked.

He leaned down and kissed her. “I have never wanted another woman the way I want you,” he said. “You want me, too. Don’t deny it.”

Her shoulders slumped. “I don’t deny it,” she whispered. “But wanting and loving are two different matters. I might not love you,” she added.

She knew that was a lie as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

He knew it, too. “Aye, you do love me.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. “You’re putting impossible thoughts in my head,” she whispered.

He gently wiped the tear away. His hands cupped the sides of her face. “Nothing is impossible. Marry me, Judith. Let me protect you.”

She had to tell him the truth now. Only then would he change his mind about this rash decision. “There’s something you don’t know about me,” she began. “My father—”

His mouth covered hers, effectively stopping her confession. The kiss was long, passionate, and when he pulled back, she barely knew her own thoughts.

She tried to tell him again. He stopped her with another kiss.

“Judith, you will not tell me anything about your family,” he ordered. “I don’t care if your father’s the king of England. You will not speak another word on the topic. Understand?”

“But Iain—”

“Your past isn’t important,” he told her. He took hold of her shoulders and squeezed. His voice was low, fervent. “Let it go, Judith. You’re going to belong to me. I’m going to be your family. I’ll take care of you.”

He made it sound so appealing. Judith didn’t know what to do. “I must think about this,” she decided. “In a few days—”

“Good Lord,” Father Laggan called out. “We can’t expect Merlin to keep that long, lass. Consider the heat.”

“Why wait?” Patrick called out.

“Aye, he’s told you he’s keeping you. Get the wedding done,” Brodick said.

It wasn’t until that moment that Judith realized they’d all been listening to her private talk with lain. She felt like screaming. Then she did. “I will not be rushed into this,” she told them. In a softer voice she added, “There are plenty of reasons why I shouldn’t marry your laird, and I need time to consider . . .”

“What are these reasons?” Graham asked.

lain turned to the leader of the council. “Are you for or against us?”

“I’m not overly pleased, of course, but you know I’ll stand beside you. You have my support. Gelfrid, what about you?”

Gelfrid frowned at Judith while he gave his answer. “I’m in agreement.”

The other council members, like dominoes, followed Gelfrid’s voice of approval.

Judith had heard enough. “How can you give your approval and glare at me at the same time?” she demanded. She turned back to Iain and poked him in his chest. “I don’t want to live here. I already made up my mind to live with my aunt Millicent and uncle Herbert. And do you know why?” She didn’t give him time to answer. “They don’t consider me inferior, that’s why. Well?” she demanded in a challenge.

“Well, what?” lain asked, trying not to smile over the outrage she was giving him. The woman was feisty when she was riled.

“They like me,” she stammered out.

“We like you fine, Judith,” Alex told her.

“Everyone does,” Patrick added with a nod.

She wasn’t believing that nonsense for a minute. Neither was Brodick. He gave Patrick a look that suggested he’d lost his head.

“But I don’t particularly like any of you brutes,” she announced. “The thought of living here is simply not acceptable. I won’t raise my children—Oh, God, Iain, I’m not having any, remember?”

“Judith, calm yourself,” Iain commanded. He pulled her up against him and hugged her tight.

“She’s not wanting children?” Graham asked. He sounded appalled. “Iain, you can’t allow that kind of talk. You need an heir.”

“Is she barren?” Gelfrid called out.

“She isn’t saying that,” Vincent muttered.

“This is my fault,” Winslow interjected.

“It’s your fault the woman’s barren?” Gelfrid asked, trying to understand. “How can that be, Winslow?”

Patrick started laughing. Brodick elbowed him to get him to stop. “She had to help with Isabelle’s birthing,” Brodick told Gelfrid. “It made her afraid. That’s all there is to it. She isn’t barren.”

The council members grunted with relief. Iain wasn’t paying any attention to anyone but Judith now. He leaned down and whispered, “You’re right, you need more time to consider this proposal. Take as long as you need.”

There was something in his voice that made her suspicious. She realized what it was almost immediately. lain was vastly amused. “How long do I have to consider this proposal?”

“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight. I thought you might want to be married first.”

She pushed herself out of his arms and looked up at him. He was smiling. She never stood a chance. She realized that now. Lord, she did love him. And at this very moment she couldn’t think of one good reason why.

They’d all made her daft. “Why in God’s name do I love you?”

She hadn’t realized she’d shouted her question until Patrick started laughing.

“Well now, that settles it. She’s agreed,” Father Laggan called out. He hurried across the hall. “Let’s get it done. Patrick, you stand on Iain’s right, and Graham, you put yourself next to Judith. You can give her away. In the name of the Father, and of the Son—”

“We’re giving her away, too,” Gelfrid announced, determined not to be left out of this important ceremony.

“Aye, we are,” Duncan muttered.

The scuffle of chairs interrupted the priest’s concentration. He waited until the other elders had all squeezed themselves around Judith, and then began again. “In the name of the Father—”

“You only want to marry me so you can order me around all the time,” Judith told Iain.

“There is that benefit,” lain drawled out.

“I thought the Dunbars were your enemies,” she said then. “Yet your priest—”

“How do you think Merlin died?” Brodick asked.

“Now, son, you can’t be taking credit for that death,” Graham advised. “It was the fall over the cliff that did him in.”

“Winslow, didn’t you do the pushing when he came at you with the knife?” Brodick asked.

His brother shook his head. “He slipped before I could get to him.”

Judith was appalled by their talk. Patrick decided to answer her initial question about the priest since no one else seemed inclined. “There aren’t enough men of the cloth to serve up here,” he said. “Father Laggan’s allowed to come and go as he pleases.”

“He serves a wide area,” Alex interjected, “and all the clans we consider our enemies. There are the Dunbars, the Macphersons, and the Macleans, and others, of course.”

She was astonished by their list of enemies. She made that mention to Graham. She wanted to learn everything she could about the Maitlands, of course, but there was another motive, too. She needed time to collect herself. She felt as though she were in a daze. She was trembling like an infant freshly washed in cold water.

“Alex has only given you a partial list,” Graham told her.

“Don’t you people like anyone?” she asked, incredulous.

Graham shrugged.

r />   “Can we get on with this?” Father Laggan cried out. “In the name of the Father . . .”

“I’m inviting my aunt Millicent and uncle Herbert to come for a visit, lain, and I’m not going through the council to get permission first.”

“. . . and of the Son,” the priest continued in a much louder voice.

“She’ll be wanting King John next,” Duncan predicted.

“We can’t allow that, lass,” Owen muttered.

“Please join hands now and concentrate on this ceremony,” Father Laggan shouted, trying to gain everyone’s attention.

“I don’t want King John to come here,” Judith argued. She turned to frown at Owen for making such a shameful suggestion. “I want my aunt and uncle. I’m getting them, too.” She turned and had to peek around Graham in order to look up at Iain. “Yes or no, Iain.”

“We’ll see. Graham, I’m marrying Judith, not you. Let go of her hand. Judith, move over here.”

Father Laggan gave up trying to maintain order. He continued on with the ceremony. lain was paying some attention. He immediately agreed to take Judith for his wife.

She wasn’t as cooperative. He felt a little sorry for the sweet woman. She looked thoroughly confused.

“Judith, do you take lain for your husband?”

She looked up at Iain before giving her answer. “We’ll see.”

“That won’t do, lass. You’ve got to say I do,” he advised.

“Do I?”

Iain smiled. “Your aunt and uncle will be welcomed here.”

She smiled back. “Thank you.”

“You’ve still got to answer me, Judith,” Father Laggan reminded her.

“Is he going to agree to love and cherish me?” she asked.

“For the love of God, he just did,” Brodick impatiently called out.

“Iain, if I stay here, I’m bound to try to make some changes.”

“Now, Judith, we like things just the way they are around here,” Graham told her.

“I don’t like things around here,” Judith said. “Iain, before we start, I want one more promise,” she blurted out.

“Before we start? We’re in the middle—” the priest tried to explain.

“What promise is this?” Graham asked. “The council might have need to mull it over.”

“You will not mull it over,” she countered. “This is a private matter. Iain?”

“Yes, Judith?”

Oh Lord, how she loved his smile. She let out a little sigh while she motioned him closer so she could whisper in his ear. Graham had to back up a space to give her room. As soon as lain leaned down, everyone else leaned forward to listen.

They were still left guessing. Whatever she had requested of their laird had clearly surprised him, if the look on his face was any indication.

The notice naturally pricked everyone’s attention.

“This is important to you?”

“Yes.”

“All right,” he answered. “I promise.”

Judith didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath until he gave her his promise. She let out a loud sigh.

Her eyes filled with tears. She was so pleased with this man. He hadn’t laughed or taken insult. He didn’t even make her explain. He simply asked her if it was important, and when she’d told him it was, he immediately agreed.

“Did you happen to get any of that, Graham?” Alex asked in a loud whisper everyone heard.

“Something about a drink,” Graham whispered back.

“She’s wanting a drink?” Gelfrid bellowed.

“Nay, I caught the word drunk,” Owen announced.

“Why’s she wanting to get drunk?” Vincent wanted to know.

Judith tried not to laugh. She turned her attention back to Father Laggan. “I will say I do,” she told him. “Shouldn’t we begin now?”

“The lass has trouble following along,” Vincent remarked.

Father Laggan gave the final blessing while Judith argued with the elder about his rude comment. Her concentration was just fine, she told him quite vehemently.

She nagged an apology out of Vincent before giving the priest her attention again. “Patrick, would you go and get Frances Catherine? I would like her to stand by my side during the ceremony.”

“You may kiss the bride,” Father Laggan announced.

Frances Catherine was pacing back and forth inside the cottage when Judith finally opened the door and walked inside.

“Thank God you’re here. I’ve been so worried. Judith, what took so long? Tell me what happened. Are you all right? You look so pale. They upset you, didn’t they?” She paused to let out an outraged gasp. “They didn’t dare try to order you to go back to England, did they?”

Judith sat down at the table. “They left,” she whispered.

“Who left?”

“Everyone. They just . . . left. Even lain. He kissed me first. Then he left, too. I don’t know where everyone went.”

Frances Catherine had never seen her friend like this. Judith appeared to be in a daze. “You’re frightening me, Judith. Please tell me what happened.”

“I got married.”

Frances Catherine had to sit down. “You got married?”

Judith nodded. She continued to stare off into space, her mind centered on the bizarre wedding ceremony.

Frances Catherine was too astonished to speak for several minutes. She sat across from Judith at the table and simply stared at her.

“Did you marry Iain?”

“I think so.”

“What do you mean, you think so?”

“Graham was standing between us. I might have married him. No, I’m certain it was Iain. He kissed me after . . . Graham didn’t.”

Frances Catherine didn’t know what to make of this news. She was thrilled, of course, because her friend would never have to go back to England, but she was also furious. Her mind concentrated on that emotion first.

“Why was it rushed? There weren’t any flowers, were there? You couldn’t have been married in a chapel. We don’t have one. Damn it, Judith, you should have insisted lain do it right.”

“I don’t know why it was so rushed,” Judith admitted. “But lain surely had his reasons. Please don’t get upset about this.”

“I should have been there,” Frances Catherine wailed.

“Aye, you should have,” Judith agreed.

Another minute passed in silence before Frances Catherine spoke again. “Are we happy about this marriage?”

Judith lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “I suppose we are.”

Tears filled Frances Catherine’s eyes. “You deserved to have your dream come true.”

Judith knew what her friend was talking about, of course. She shook her head and tried to comfort Frances Catherine. “Dreams are for little girls to whisper to each other. They don’t really come true. I’m a fully grown woman now, Frances Catherine. I don’t imagine impossible things.”

Her friend wasn’t ready to let it go. “You’re forgetting who you’re talking to, Judith. I know you better than anyone else in this whole world. I know all about your horrible life with your witch of a mother and your drunken uncle. I know about the pain and the loneliness. Your dreams became your shields against the hurt. You can tell me it was just your active imagination, these dreams you now pretend aren’t still important, but I know better.”

Her voice cracked on a sob. She took a deep breath and then continued on. “Your dreams saved you from despair. Don’t you dare pretend they don’t matter. I won’t believe you.”

“Frances Catherine, please be reasonable about this,” Judith said in exasperation. “It wasn’t always horrible. Millicent and Herbert balanced my life. Besides, I was very young when I thought up such silly dreams. I was only imagining what I wanted my wedding to be like. My father was there, remember? I thought the man was dead, but I still imagined him standing by my side at the back of the chapel. My husband was going to be so happy, he was going to

cry. Now I ask you. Can you imagine lain weeping over the sight of me?”

Frances Catherine couldn’t help but smile. “My husband was also going to weep with gratitude. Patrick didn’t. He gloated.”

“I won’t ever have to see my mother again.”

She’d whispered that thought aloud. Frances Catherine nodded. “You won’t ever have to leave me, either.”

“I want you to be happy about this.”

“All right. I’m happy. Now tell me exactly what happened. I want every detail.”

Judith did as she was asked. By the time she was finished with the recounting, Frances Catherine was laughing. Judith was having difficulty remembering, and she kept excusing her poor memory on the fact that it had all been terribly confusing.

“I asked lain if he loved me,” she told her friend. “He didn’t give me an answer. I didn’t realize that until it was over and he was kissing me. He said he wanted me. I also tried to tell him about my father, but he wouldn’t let me get the words out. He said it didn’t matter. I was to let it alone. Those were his very words. I did try, but I’m thinking I should have tried harder.”

Frances Catherine let out an unladylike snort. “Don’t you start worrying about your father. We aren’t ever going to mention him again. No one’s going to know.”

Judith nodded. “I made Iain promise me two things. Millicent and Herbert can come here for a visit.”

“And the other promise?”

“Iain won’t get drunk in my presence.”

Frances Catherine’s eyes filled with tears. She never would have thought to ask her husband such a thing, but she fully understood why Judith would be so concerned. “For as long as I’ve lived here, I’ve never seen lain drunk.”

“He’ll keep his promise,” Judith whispered. She let out a sigh. “I wonder where I’ll sleep tonight.”

“Iain will come here to get you.”

“What have I gotten myself into?”

“You love him.”

“Yes.”

“He must love you.”

“I hope he does,” Judith said. “He didn’t have anything else to gain. He must love me.”

“Are you worried about tonight?”

“A little. Were you worried the first time?”