The Secret (Highlands' Lairds 1)

Another contraction seized Frances Catherine. Judith ordered her to bear down. Her friend screamed her refusal. She collapsed forward, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Oh, God, Judith, I can’t do this any longer. I want to die. The pain—”

“Don’t you dare give up on me now,” Judith interrupted.

“I can’t get my hand inside,” Helen whispered. “We need the hook, Judith.”

“No!”

Frances Catherine’s tortured scream of denial snapped Judith’s control. She was so terrified inside, she barely knew what she was doing. She tore her hand away from her friend’s hard grasp, then rushed over to the water bowl. She scrubbed her hands clean. Maude’s instructions were echoing in her mind. She didn’t know or care that what the midwife had told her might be based on nonsense either. She would follow her procedures and trust that it mattered.

Helen stood up when Judith knelt down in front of Frances Catherine.

Her friend was hoarse from her screams. In a pitiful whisper she pleaded, “Tell Patrick I’m sorry.”

“The hell with that nonsense,” Judith shouted. She was heartless to her friend’s agony now. “Leave it to you, Frances Catherine, to do everything backward.”

“Are you thinking to turn the bairn?” Helen asked. “You’ll tear her insides if you try.”

Judith shook her head. She kept her attention on Frances Catherine. “Tell me when the next pain begins,” she commanded.

Helen tried to hand Judith the bowl of pig’s fat. “Cover your hands with this grease,” she suggested. “It will make the bairn’s coming through easier.”

“No,” Judith answered. She hadn’t washed her hands clean so she could cover them with the vile muck.

Isabelle put her hand on Frances Catherine’s stomach. A scant minute later she called out, “The pain’s starting now. I feel the tightness building.”

Judith started praying. Frances Catherine started screaming. Helen and Isabelle held her steady while Judith worked.

Judith’s heart almost dropped into her stomach when she felt the tiny foot protruding from the opening. She was praying out loud now, but no one could hear her. Frances Catherine’s screams drowned out every other sound. Judith gently moved the foot down and then went in search of the missing one.

God answered her prayer. She didn’t have to reach far to find the missing foot. She slowly eased it down through the opening.

Frances Catherine did the rest. She couldn’t stop herself from bearing down. The baby would have landed on her feet if Judith hadn’t caught her in time.

The beautiful infant who had given them all such a scare was petite in size, adorably chubby, and had a sprinkle of fire-red hair covering her crown. She was extremely dainty-looking. . . and had a roar very similar to her mother’s.

She was perfect.

So was her sister. She didn’t give them any trouble at all. She caught everyone by surprise, though. Frances Catherine was weeping with joy, and relief, too, that the ordeal was finally over. Helen had gone outside to complete the ritual of burying the afterbirth in accordance with the rules of the Church, so that demons wouldn’t attack the mother or her infant while they were in such a vulnerable condition, and Isabelle was busy cooing to the baby while she gave her her first bath. Judith was washing Frances Catherine when she suddenly started bearing down again. Judith told her to stop it. She was worried about hemorrhage. Frances Catherine couldn’t stop. Her second daughter was born just minutes later. She was polite enough to arrive head first.

The infants were identical in appearance. Neither Isabelle nor Helen could tell them apart. They were careful to wrap the little ones in different colored cloths, the firstborn in white, the second in pink, before covering each with the Maitland plaid.

Frances Catherine hadn’t bled overly much, but in Judith’s mind the worry wasn’t over yet. She was going to make certain the new mother stayed in bed a good two weeks as a precaution against complications.

Frances Catherine was finally settled in her bed. She wore the pretty nightgown Judith had made for her. Her hair was brushed and secured with a pink ribbon. Despite her exhaustion, she looked radiant, but Judith knew it was a struggle for her to stay awake.

Patrick had been kept informed of his wife’s condition. He knew she was all right. Helen wouldn’t tell him if he had a son or a daughter, however. That precious duty belonged to his wife.

The babies were tucked in Frances Catherine’s arms for their presentation to their father. Judith smoothed the covers around the threesome, then turned to fetch the new papa.

“Wait.” Frances Catherine whispered so she wouldn’t disturb her daughters. Both were sound asleep.

“Yes?” Judith whispered back.

“We . . . we did all right, didn’t we, Judith?”

“Aye, we did,” she agreed.

“I want to say—”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Judith told her. “I understand.”

Frances Catherine smiled. “It’s your turn now, Judith. Give my daughters a friend to share their secrets with,” she ordered.

“We’ll see,” Judith replied. She motioned for Isabelle and Helen to follow her outside. Patrick almost knocked her over as he passed her. His eagerness to get to his family made Judith smile.

The fresh air felt wonderful. Judith was exhausted, and weak with relief that the duty was finally over. She walked over to the stone wall and sat down. Isabelle followed her.

“It was a worry, wasn’t it?” Isabelle whispered. “I was so afraid for Frances Catherine.”

“I was, too,” Judith admitted.

“She’s going to need help,” Helen announced. “She’s had a time of it and needs plenty of rest now. She can’t be taking care of those babies alone.”

“Winslow’s aunts will help and so will I,” Isabelle volunteered. “We could take the mornings.”

“I could stay from the supper hour on through the nights,” Helen suggested.

Both women looked at Judith, expecting her to agree to take the afternoons. She shook her head. “We’ll have to find someone to fill in,” she said. “I can’t promise to help because I’m not at all certain how much longer I’ll be staying here.”

“What in heaven’s name are you talking about?” Isabelle asked, clearly astonished by Judith’s remarks.

“I’ll explain tomorrow,” Judith promised. “Now I want to talk about Frances Catherine. I want both of you to promise me you’ll take care of her. She mustn’t be allowed out of bed. She isn’t out of danger yet.”

Judith could hear the desperation in her own voice. She couldn’t control that. Exhaustion was making her more emotional, she supposed.

Neither Isabelle nor Helen argued with her. Judith was thankful for their silence. Helen let out a weary sigh. The sadness she saw on her mistress’s face tore at her heart.

She decided to try to lighten the conversation. “Were you two as surprised as I was when Frances Catherine started in laboring a second time?”

Both Isabelle and Judith smiled.

“You’re both looking ready to fall down,” Helen said. “Go on home and get some rest. I’ll stay the rest of the night.”

Neither Isabelle nor Judith had the strength or inclination to move. It was so quiet, so peaceful just sitting there staring out into the darkness.

Judith heard a sound behind her and turned. lain and Winslow were coming down the hill. She quickly turned around again and tried to straighten her appearance. She brushed her hair back over her shoulders, pinched her cheeks for color, and tried to smooth the wrinkles out of her gown.

Isabelle watched her. “You still look like hell,” she whispered with a giggle.

Judith was astonished by the remark. Isabelle was such a sweet, soft-spoken woman. Judith didn’t know she had it in her to tease. She burst into laughter. “So do you,” she whispered back.

They stood up at the same time to greet their husbands, then leaned into each othe

r, trying to force the other to take all the weight.

“I don’t care what I look like,” Isabelle confessed. “Winslow wants to . . . you know, and I don’t think I should this soon. It’s only been seven weeks. I think we should wait seven more . . . but some nights, I do want to . . .”

Judith wasn’t certain she understood what Isabelle was stammering on and on about. She saw her blush and finally caught on. “Maude told me it’s usual to wait six weeks before . . . sleeping with your husband.”

Isabelle immediately tried to straighten her appearance. Judith found her action vastly amusing. Her laughter started Isabelle laughing, too.

Helen shook her head over their pitiful condition.

lain and Winslow thought they’d lost their minds. Helen gave them the good news about Frances Catherine. Both warriors were pleased, of course, but their attention remained on their ill-disciplined wives.

“Isabelle, get hold of yourself,” Winslow ordered. “You’re acting like you’re sotted.”

She bit her lower lip to stop herself from laughing. “What are you doing up at this time of night?” she asked. “Why aren’t you home with our son?”

“My aunt’s there,” Winslow answered.

“Is she going to stay the full night?”

Winslow thought that was an odd question to ask. “Of course,” he answered. “I’ll sleep up at the keep.”

Isabelle frowned at her husband. He raised an eyebrow over her reaction. “Isabelle, what in God’s name is the matter with you?” he asked in exasperation.

Isabelle didn’t answer. Judith walked over to her husband. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“I was waiting for you.”

She was overwhelmed by his admission. Her eyes immediately filled with tears. lain put his arm around her shoulders and turned to leave. Helen bid everyone good-night and went back inside the cottage.

Isabelle had inadvertently blocked their exit through the courtyard entrance when she moved forward to confront her husband. She didn’t realize lain and Judith were standing right behind her. “I don’t want to sleep with your aunt,” she blurted out. “I want to sleep with you. Judith says we only had to wait six weeks, husband, and it’s been seven now.”

Winslow pulled his wife into his arms and out of the way so lain and Judith could get past them. He leaned down and whispered into his wife’s ear.

Alex, Gowrie, and Ramsey caught Judith’s attention. The three warriors came striding down the hill. When they were close enough for her to see their expressions, her breath caught in her throat. The men looked furious.

She moved closer into Iain’s side. “Why are they awake?” she whispered.

“There was a meeting,” he answered. “It lasted longer than expected.”

lain didn’t seem inclined to explain what had happened, and she was too exhausted, and frightened, to ask him. After tossing and turning for quite a long time, finally Judith fell into a fitful sleep.

Chapter 15

Judith, wake up. It’s time to leave.”

Iain was gently shaking her awake. She opened her eyes and found her husband sitting on the side of the bed. One look at his dark expression and her mind immediately cleared of sleep.

She sat up, pulled the covers around her and stared at him. “Leave?” she whispered, trying to understand. “I’m leaving now?”

“Yes.” His voice was hard, his expression just as determined.

Why was he acting so cold? Judith grasped his arm when he tried to stand up. “So soon, Iain?”

“Yes,” he answered. “Within the hour, if possible.” He pulled her hand away from his arm, leaned down to kiss her brow, and then stood up and walked over to the door.

She called out to him. “I would like to say good-bye to Frances Catherine.”

“There isn’t time,” he told her. “Pack only one valise. Bring it to the stables. I’ll meet you there.”

The door closed behind her husband. She promptly burst into tears. She knew she was being pitiful. She didn’t care. She wasn’t thinking clearly either. She had told lain she didn’t want to stay here. He was simply giving her what she wanted.

Damn it all, how could he let her go? Didn’t he realize how much she loved him?

Judith washed, then dressed in her dark royal-blue gown. She brushed her hair, packed her valise, and when she was finally ready to leave, she took one last look around her chamber.

Her plaid was hanging on the peg near the door. She didn’t want to leave it behind. She folded the garment and put it in her valise.

She quit weeping. She quit feeling sorry for herself, too. Lord, she was fighting angry now. A husband who truly loved his wife wouldn’t let her leave him. She needed to tell lain that. He did love her. She didn’t have any doubts about that. It didn’t matter either that his actions were so confusing to her. She would simply make him explain what he was doing . . . and why.

She couldn’t imagine life without him. Judith ran out the doorway and down the steps. Her valise was clutched tightly in her arms.

Graham was standing in the entrance, holding the door. Judith could see the huge crowd gathered beyond in the courtyard.

She tried to walk past the elder without looking at him. He touched her shoulder to get her attention. She stopped, but stubbornly kept her gaze downcast.

“Why won’t you look at me, lass?” Graham asked.

She looked up into his eyes. “I didn’t want to see your disdain for me, Graham. You made it perfectly clear how you feel about me the other night.”

“Oh, Judith, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was just such a . . . surprise, and I was in such a fury because we’d been captured and I thought you had deceived all of us. I’m ashamed of myself, Judith. Can you find it in your heart to forgive a foolish old man?”

Her eyes clouded with tears. She slowly nodded. “I forgive you. I have to go to lain now, Graham. He’s waiting for me.”

“Talk to him, Judith. Don’t let him do this. We want him to stay.”

The anguish in his voice tore at her heart. “He’s planning to take me to England,” she explained. “Then he’ll come back.”

He shook his head. “Nay, lass. He won’t come back.”

“Graham, he has to,” Judith argued. “He’s your laird, for God’s sake.”

“He isn’t laird.”

Judith was too stunned to mask her reaction. She dropped her valise and stared at Graham. He stooped down to pick up her bag. She tried to take it from him. Graham held tight and shook his head at her.

“Did you vote for or against this decision?”

She didn’t wait for Graham’s answer. She straightened her shoulders and ran outside. The crowd parted when she reached the bottom step and turned toward the stables.

Graham followed her. The other elders filed outside and lined up on the top step of the keep to watch the departure.

The crowd was behind Judith now. The stable doors opened and lain walked outside, leading his stallion. Patrick walked by his brother’s side. He was talking to lain, but wasn’t getting much of a response. Iain’s face was impassive. Judith hadn’t realized she’d stopped until her husband looked up, spotted her in the distance and motioned for her to come to him.

She didn’t move. The significance of what she was doing hit her full force. Dear God, she didn’t want to leave. She’d packed the Maitland plaid so she would have a reminder of her happiness here. She would most certainly wrap herself in the soft material during the cold winter nights ahead and try to find some comfort in her memories of happier times. What rubbish, she thought to herself. She was still going to be miserable without lain and all the other good friends she had made over the past few months.

Her worries about being an outsider ceased to be important. She was a Maitland and she really did belong here. Aye, she had found her place, and no one, not even her husband, was going to make her leave.

She was suddenly in a hurry to get to lain so she could

explain this change of heart. She hoped to heavens she would make sense.

She picked up her skirts and started running. Isabelle stopped her when she called out.

“Judith? Will I like living in England?”

Judith whirled around to look at her friend. She was certain she’d misunderstood her. “What did you just ask me?”

Isabelle separated herself from the crowd and walked forward to stand next to Judith. She hold her infant son in her arms. Winslow’s aunts followed. Judith recognized the two gray-haired ladies. Both had been sitting at the table in Isabelle’s cottage the day of the priest’s inquisition.

“Will we like living in England?” Isabelle asked again.

Judith shook her head. “You can’t go with me. You would hate living there. I don’t even like England,” she added in a stammer. “And I’m English.”

“We’ll get along just fine.”

Helen called out that announcement. She hurried forward to stand beside Isabelle. Andrew stood behind his mother, holding his valise.

Judith didn’t know what to make of the women. “But you can’t just—”

Another woman came forward. Judith knew who she was, but she couldn’t remember her name. Her daughter, Elizabeth, had won the arrow contest the day of the festival. Her mother had beamed with pleasure when lain presented the prize to her daughter.

“We’ll be coming along, too,” the mother announced.

And then another and another came forward to proclaim their intention. Judith turned around to look at lain for assistance. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the crowd of warriors lined up behind him.

Were they going with them, too?

She couldn’t make any sense out of what was happening. Children surrounded her now, and their mothers, clutching their baggage in their arms, stood behind them.

“We’ll be taking every Sunday for rest in England, won’t we?”

Judith wasn’t certain who had asked the question. She nodded and slowly walked over to her husband. She knew she looked stunned. lain was going to have to talk some sense into these people, she supposed.

Her husband kept his gaze on her. His arm rested on his stallion’s back. His expression was contained, but when she was close enough to notice, she could see the surprise was there, in his eyes.