Only One Chance (Only One 2)

My eyes automatically go down to his area. “Did she succeed?” I ask, trying not to laugh.

“No, she did not succeed. I had to pry her off me, and when I tried to tell her to stop, she stuck her tongue into my mouth,” he says, throwing his hands up in the air. “All the while, drinking champagne. I had to pick her up and put her in her seat. I almost jumped into the front seat with the driver.”

“Oh, don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” I cock my hip. “Let’s be real. She’s the best thing you’ve been with in a long time.”

“I will agree with you on that,” he tells me. “She asked me to take her painting. Said it would be nice.” I look at him, waiting. “Why not? I thought.”

“Oh.” I put my hand to my mouth. “Like a painting class? That doesn’t sound bad.”

“That’s what I thought, too. I see them on Facebook, where everyone’s painting the same thing. It should be nice. I can maybe ask her about you, try to connive her to tell you to date me,” he says, going to the trunk of the limo and opening it. I wait as he takes a sheet out. “Painting. How bad could it be?” He opens the canvas, and all I see are different colors all smashed together. “I came out of the bathroom and came face-to-face with your grandmother.” I look at him as he talks. “Naked.” I try not to laugh. “Oh, and it gets so much better. Luigi, the painting instructor, was also naked.”

“Maybe they wanted you to paint them. Like David.” I try to make an excuse for it, but I swear it takes everything in me not to laugh out loud.

“Come to think of it, I wish that was the reason.” He lets out a bitter chuckle. “No, you see, what they wanted to do was for all three of us to get naked.” My eyes go big. “Paint each other and then have sex with each other while on said canvas,” he says. “Luigi called it taste the rainbow.”

I can’t help it now as I bend over and laugh. “Like Skittles.”

“Who knows?” He throws up his hands, and they fall by his sides. “I have no idea. I was trying not to look at the two naked people in front of me to ask him where he came up with the saying.” He puts his hands in front of his mouth. “I saw things I shouldn’t have today. Then Nancy came running up to me and said she baked me a brownie.”

I run to him now. “Oh my God, tell me you didn’t eat it.” My eyes go wide.

“Are you crazy?” he asks. “I spit it out, but don’t worry, she picked it up and ate it anyway.”

“Is that why she’s passed out?”

“Well, it could be that, or the two hours of sex that she and Luigi had.” He puts his hands on his hips.

“You watched them?” I ask hesitantly, not sure what to think.

“Are you out of your mind?” He shakes his head. “I ran out of there and sat in the car eating the picnic I made for us,” he says as he moves me to the side. “We couldn’t get the music to go loud enough to drown out the moans.” I have no words; all I can do is try not to laugh. “I swear I thought she was going to break a hip.”

“She’s fine,” I tell him as he leans into the car to try to grab her.

“Is she covered in paint?” I ask, and he huffs out and grabs her enough to get out of the car with her.

“No, they both came out to show me the rainbow and then showered,” he says, and all I can do is bite my lip. “Where do you want me to put her?”

“I guess you can put her in the spare bedroom,” I tell him, and then walk by the canvas and stop. “Is that …?”

“Yup, that’s their rainbow,” he says. Looking at it, I swear I can see a ball sack outline and then an ass. “If you want it framed, I need to tell him by the end of the week.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I think I’m good.”

“You sure?” he asks. Grandma groans in his arms, and her eyes flicker open.

“Oh, hotcakes,” she says, cuddling into him and rubbing his chest as her eyes fall closed again. “Let me rest for a couple of hours, and then I’ll be good to go.” He glares at me while I laugh.

“Show me the spare bedroom,” he says between clenched teeth. I turn to walk back into the house, and he follows me. Stepping into the bedroom, I toss the throw pillows to the side and move the duvet out of the way.