Only One Chance (Only One 2)

“Here goes nothing,” I tell the universe, pulling up Miller’s name.

Me: Merry Christmas, Miller.Chapter 34MillerGorgeous: Merry Christmas, Miller.

It’s been two days since I got that text. Seven days and I was tempted every single day to text her back. But I just couldn’t; my heart was telling me that I had to see her to say what I needed to say.

“What are you doing in here?” my father asks, walking into the game room. My parents arrived this morning. The rest of my family is coming in tomorrow morning for the festivities leading up to the winter classic game. The whole town has spent the month preparing for this. I still don’t get how they are going to have ice for us to skate on in Dallas, but they said it’s going to happen. We will finally be able to skate on the ice tomorrow.

“Just thinking,” I say, and he sits in front of me. This whole month has flown by, one day into the next, yet I felt stuck. I spent Christmas with my parents at their house since it was easy for everyone. I made an excuse to bail out early, landing on the twenty-fourth and leaving the twenty-fifth at night. I spent Christmas night lying on my couch watching the lights on the tree, wondering if she was all by herself or if she was out with friends or maybe even with Grandma Nancy.

“Well, the way you are looking at that phone, it looks like bad news,” he says, sitting in front of me. “What’s up with you?” I look up at him. “Your mother says something is wrong with you, and I told her she was wrong.” He puts his foot on top of his other leg. “Seeing you now, I think she might be right.”

“I think I fucked up, Dad,” I tell him, and he just looks at me, waiting. “I …” I start to say and rub my hands over my face. “I don’t even know where to start, to be honest.”

“They say starting at the beginning is the best.” My mother walks in, carrying a tray with coffee on it.

“I thought you might need something to drink,” she says and goes over to sit down next to my father.

“You were right,” my father says, kissing her head and putting an arm around her shoulder. “Now out with it,” he says to me, and I tell them the story. From meeting her four years ago to chasing her. To the date with Grandma Nancy that had my mother laughing so hard she was crying to the ex-husband opening the door.

“So you just let her leave?” my mother asks, wiping the corner of her eyes with a tissue. “You just let the love of your life leave without going after her?”

“Idiot,” my father says. “What is wrong with you?”

“She lied to me.” I try to tell them my side.

“She was afraid to tell you the truth. She came here with her heart on her sleeve, and you let her leave,” my mother says, shaking her head. “And it’s been a month?” she shrieks. “A month.”

I put my hands on the top of my head. “I know, Mom. I just don’t know what to tell her.”

“I would start with I’ve been an idiot,” my father cuts in, and my mother nods.

“And my parents raised me to be better than this,” my mother adds.

I stand, frustrated because they are right, but then scared that when I finally do go to her, she’ll tell me that she doesn’t feel the same way. That it was a one-way street, and I was the only one who felt it. “What if,” I start to say, and my mother holds up her hands.

“What if I didn’t say yes to your father all those years ago? What if you don’t tell her how you feel and regret it for the rest of your life? What if she’s the one?” my mother asks, and I don’t answer her because I can’t. “Son, you have one life to live. Don’t you want to live it with a love that’s so big it fills your soul?”

She doesn’t say anything after that, and neither does my father. They just sit there and change the subject. The next day is crazy, getting on the ice with my family arriving, and then having a team meeting. I go through the motions and smile when I need to smile. The whole time, I’m thinking of Layla, and my heart feels tight in my chest. My house is full to the brim with my sisters and brothers and all their kids. It’s something I’ve always loved yet now feels void. New Year’s Eve comes, and my family opts out of the team party to stay home. They kiss me goodbye when I leave and tell me they will see me tomorrow.