I Have to Have Her
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“No?” She stepped up close to him. “Do you feel anything right now? Did you see her leave? What was it like to watch her walk away or better yet, not to even cry?”
“Are we done with this?” It was early in the morning but he went straight to his liquor cabinet. He was so fucking done with this conversation already.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, to be done? To have everything neatly tied away into their own respective boxes, but it doesn’t work like that. It will never work like that.” She shook her head. “Ugh, I have to be the person to spell this out. You love her.”
He paused with the glass next to his lips and stared at his sister. “You’ve been watching way too many romance movies.” He shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He moved toward his window and looked out over the city.
His sister laughed.
“Oh, my God, you really do love her. I see it now.”
He rolled his eyes. “What is it going to take to get some peace now?” He pulled out his cell phone and messaged the man who was tailing Claire. He hesitated. Should he call the man off? He didn’t. He told him to keep by her side, to keep an eye on her until he gave him further instructions.
“I know you like to build up some kind of romance in your mind, but in this case, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“I haven’t,” she said. “That’s the point. You’re afraid.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“The bikers. They scared you. Claire saved me. She put herself in danger to save me and that scares you, doesn’t it?”
He swallowed down his drink in one gulp. “I can have you put away for a long time, Rhianna. Stop bugging me.”
“I’m your sister. I know you love me and will do whatever’s necessary to keep me safe. Knowing you, locking me up will be at an all-day spa resort, whatever. This is important.” Rhianna reached for his hand.
“No, it’s not. You want the truth. I told Claire that it would last as long as I saw fit. We didn’t even get the entire month clear. It’s over. I don’t do long-term.”
“Okay, fine, and when she moves on?” she asked.
He squeezed his glass tightly.
“Claire’s a beautiful woman. In fact, with her finding a new apartment so fast, I may have to suggest we go to a nightclub, have some fun. She doesn’t know how to have fun.”
“Stop it.”
“Imagine another man moving close to her, touching her waist, feeling her against him. But rather than imagining Claire not wanting him, think about her being happy. Her wanting his kisses, his touch, being in his bed. Making love, fucking if it makes you see straight, and then he marries her. She’s pregnant with another man’s baby, and you go to the wedding and watch her go to someone else. All the time, you wonder what if.”
Rhianna shook her head. “You look so pissed off and angry. You think of Claire as yours and yet you let her walk away. I know your reasoning. You think you’re doing some macho man thing, keeping her safe. You’re not. You’re hurting her and yourself.”
“She doesn’t love me,” he said.
“Then you’re a fool and an idiot, which seems to be the going rate for men these days.” She shrugged. “Oh, well, I guess my time here is done.”
He watched her walk away.
“Oh, and, Gabriel,” she said.
He turned to look at her. “I will encourage her to find someone else. What you did was an asshole move.”
His sister left him alone.
What he’d done was the right thing. Claire wasn’t fit to be part of his world. She made him weak and he couldn’t allow himself to be weak. Lucas was just the first one. He had no doubt men had already seen how he felt about her. Her life was probably already in danger.
“Fuck!” He threw his glass of whiskey across the hall, watching it smash and cascade down in rivulets. He could handle this.
Claire wasn’t his.
Rhianna had let the beast out of the box. He couldn’t stop thinking about another man touching her, wanting her. She was a beautiful woman with an amazing laugh. A kind heart. Everything about her was the opposite of him.
He thought about her with the glass in her hair and the way she snuggled up against him when she let her guard down. How scared she was of horror movies and always hid behind the pillow just so Rhianna could watch them.
This woman had been part of his life for a long fucking time, and he hadn’t seen it before, but he did now. “Fuck.”
He sat down on his sofa and pulled out his cell phone. As he clicked on his pictures, a couple were there. Some were of Claire pulling faces at him, but there were a few she didn’t know about. The ones he’d taken after he’d fucked her into oblivion and she’d fallen asleep in his arms.