Fallen

She really hated this weird—and yes, she could admit it, scary—fucking place.

She hated the stupid rituals, the meaningless ceremonies, the complete lack of technology, an absence of even the smallest pleasures, those devout weirdos in white suits who had joined a few of their services, and all the endless talk of a god that was unrecognizable to Kandace.

Two months down, seven to go. She needed to make the most of her remaining time there so when she left, she was armed. She needed to gather some information about the kids in order to take something with her that had a chance at helping them escape Lilith House. What kind of a life was it for them? She was practically climbing the walls after eight weeks. What must it be like to live there permanently? No, something was off with their situation and she needed to find out what. She needed to be brave. She’d successfully snuck into Ms. Wykes office once, and she’d successfully visited the kids on several occasions now. There weren’t cameras in the walls. After all, technology was a tool of the devil. No one had eyes in the backs of their heads. Jasper roamed the halls like the hellhound he was, but with his big, cumbersome body, she could hear him coming a mile away. She’d watched. She’d learned everyone’s routine in her short time there. This was worth the risk.

And on the off chance she got caught, she could take what they dished out. Even the girls who were absent from class after a night where she heard screams from below, always showed back up eventually, even if their eyes were a little extra shifty, and she spotted a bruise or two. Yes, she could take the possible consequences. Kandace just prayed she wasn’t potentially putting any innocent birds in harm’s way.

Thank God that whole event was fading from her mind. Sometimes she even questioned if it had really happened. It had been a bluff of sorts, something to shock and horrify her right out of the gate so she’d remain wary and docile. Well, fuck them. It wasn’t a bad strategy, actually. Do something like that once, and you might never have to do anything like it again. Look at her roommates for example, so-called “bad girls” afraid of swearing too loud.

Once Kandace was excused from her final class of the day, she headed to her after-school work detail, cleaning and disinfecting the classrooms. Sometimes a teacher leaned her head in and checked on her, but mostly, she was left on her own. They knew she was there doing the job by the fact that the job was done.

She’d just have to hurry today. She needed to buy herself some time.

Ms. Wykes would be in the Tuesday afternoon staff meeting.

Fifteen minutes, she estimated. No more.

Kandace hurried through the chores in the first classroom, gathering her supplies, and rushing to the second room, giving the other girls just enough time to get to their work detail, or to their rooms where they were expected to study.

Kandace left her supplies in the second classroom and headed down the hall. She startled when a classmate named Lucille turned the corner and almost bumped into her. “Oh sorry,” Kandace said, smiling widely.

The girl, a rail-thin brunette who rarely said a word, but rather watched the other girls from beneath her highly arched brows, narrowed her eyes, transferring a bucket of cleaning supplies from her right hand to her left. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, giving Kandace what looked like a phony smile.

Kandace cocked her head. “Ladies’ room,” she said. “Excuse me.” As she walked away from the girl, she cringed internally. Why had she explained where she was going? It’d made her sound guilty. You’re losing your edge here, Thompson. Yeah, she was losing a lot of things at Lilith House, another being her sanity.

She glanced behind her but the hallway was clear, Lucille apparently having moved on to whatever task she’d been assigned. Kandace blew out a breath of relief, making turn after turn until she came to Ms. Wykes office once again.

Of course, it was locked. She removed the pin from her bangs and went to work. This time it only took her about thirty seconds. At least she was keeping her breaking-and-entering skills sharp. Kandace slipped into the room, shutting the door quietly behind her and locking it from the inside.

Her gaze landed on the now-empty birdcage. She wasn’t going to let herself guess at what had happened to the remaining bluebird.

She headed directly to one of two file cabinets behind Ms. Wykes’s desk, using the pin to open the lock at the top left of the first cabinet. Then she slipped the pin back in her hair and opened the top drawer.

A noise sounded outside the office and Kandace froze, holding her breath and listening intently. Nothing. She turned around and started rifling through the files, each clearly labeled with a girl’s first and last name. They didn’t appear to be in alphabetical order . . . but instead, arranged by year. Yes! It was what she’d hoped for. Though he appeared younger, the kid had told her he was fifteen, which meant his mother would have been there sixteen years before or so, which meant . . . she was probably in the first filing cabinet? She bent down to pull open the next drawer when another small noise met Kandace’s ears and again, she froze, her ears straining to pick up any sound that might indicate someone was coming closer. But after a moment, she turned back to the cabinet, opened the second drawer from the top and saw that the dates on those folders were of the correct—she hoped—year.