Mr. D - Black Mountain Academy

In defeat, Corrine grabbed her stuff and exited my house with tears streaming down her face. I didn’t say a word. She didn’t say a word. Her mother had spoken, and I had yet to figure out how to respond.23Corrine“I didn’t think we’d be seeing you back here, Corrine,” Dr. Redmond said as he sat across from me with pen in hand and notebook on his lap.

“I didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter,” I said, hating that I was once again in this very familiar room about to have my brain dissected again.

“You chose to engage in the same behavior that brought you here in the first place. Correct? That was a choice you made,” he said.

“I suppose.” I didn’t want to say much. All he would do is write it down and use it against me later.

“Tell me about this…” he looked down at this notebook, “Drew Dawson. Your mother tells me that he was the principal at the school you were attending. She also told me that you snuck to that school without her knowing with the intention of stalking him.”

“That’s not true,” I snapped. “She knew I was going to Black Mountain Academy. She just doesn’t pay attention to the things I do. And no, I didn’t go there with the intentions of stalking him. It just happened… but it’s not like you think.”

Dr. Redmond continued, “She also said that she has spoken with Mr. Dawson, and he has agreed to not make issue of this situation.”

“Make issue?” I asked, not sure what he was saying. And had my mother been in conversation with D after I left?

“What you did is a crime. With your history, Mr. Dawson could have really made problems for you, but your mother got him to agree to forget this unfortunate situation. You should be grateful for that.”

Unfortunate situation?

“I may have started to revert to the old me at first,” I began. “And I didn’t start my relationship with Mr. D with honesty, but something changed as he started to care about me.”

“Did you feel that Mr. Harrison cared about you as well?”

“No. I wanted him to. I thought I could convince him to. And when he didn’t, I got mad… obviously.”

“But Mr. D—is that what you call him? You feel that he genuinely cares about you, in a romantic way?”

I didn’t want to tell Dr. Redmond exactly how intense our feelings were for each other, even in such a short time. For one, I didn’t think he’d believe me. And second, I didn’t want to get D in trouble if Dr. Redmond decided to report him or something.

“It became something different. Yes,” I said.

“Then why did he allow you to come here?” the doctor asked. “From what your mother said, he was happy to have you taken from Black Mountain and admitted into St. Mary’s.”

“That’s not true.” Although the feeling of wanting to check every door in the hospital began to take over.

Mr. D wouldn’t want this.

He wouldn’t have allowed me to go with my mother if he had a choice.

Would he have?

“Your mother also said that he is aware of your past.”

“Can we stop talking about what my mother said?” I snapped, feeling the urge to storm out of the office. “Ask me if you want the truth. My mother sees things her way and always has. I’m done talking about my mother.”

“She comes from a place of concern,” he said.

“Concern for herself. Concern for her career. Do you know that the media believes I’m in rehab right now… again? My mother would rather the world believes I’m a cocaine addict than a woman in the search for love.” I took a deep, calming breath. “Do I have some issues to work through? Yes. We talked about them the last time I was here. I know I have insecurities, abandonment issues, trust issues, and I struggle with OCD. I know this, and frankly, so does Mr. D. But I also plan to get continued help to cope with those things. But Mr. D said he would be there every step of the way to help me. To be with me.”

“And you believe he could be of help? Or do you think it could make things worse? What if he does reject you? What then?”

The doctor’s words were like a tsunami of ice-cold water engulfing me. I hated him. I hated this place. No one would understand. No one would get me… other than D.

But where was he?

Why did he let me go?

Was that the end?

“Knowing he’s not here,” the doctor continued, “does that make you want to lash out? Do you want to burn down his home like you did with Mr. Harrison?”

“No,” I said softly.

“What if he doesn’t want to be with you? What if he never wanted to be with you?”