Tainted Gold (Providence Gold 3)

Lying beside her and trying to breathe with my balls where they’d ended up in my lungs, I played through the conversation with the lawyer to get my mind off the pain. That was a different sort of pain altogether, but one I preferred to the Nagasa-dick-i in my crotch.

While I’d been in the cell, Chris had declared that he was going to get a court-enforced paternity test done on the baby to prove he was the father. He’d also claimed he was taking me to court for raping Lily while they’d been together. His claims after it ranged from wanting spousal support, pain and suffering, you name it. His overall figure? Five-million-eight-hundred thousand. Why? Because he could.

The last thing I wanted was for Lily to be under any stress, it wasn’t good on her or the baby, so I’d dealt with it. I’d have to explain to her at some point, but not now. He was going to be served with a cease and desist letter in the morning, along with the threat of a counter-suit if he didn’t stop. Fingers crossed that shut him up.

The guy was just such a fucking sphincter. Who does that shit? Rich had agreed, as had most of the inhabitants in the cells including people we didn’t even know, that he believed Lily when she said they’d never had sex – so why was he so adamant that they had? He was delusional. And who cheats on Lily with someone like Carly? The thought of sticking my dick in that chick made it curl up and run up to where my balls were resting in my esophagus. She’d offered it to all of us on a plate in high school, and not even the most desperate guys had said yes. Instead, it was the out of towners passing through Gonzales County who got caught in her claptrap, and obviously assholes like Chris.

The whole thing had been irritating and worrying and protecting Lily and the baby had been the priority. The lawyer was aware of that, and would do everything he could to nip it in the bud, apart from drowning the guy. Apparently lawyers didn’t like it when you suggested shit like that.

I was also struggling with how Levi had reacted to the news. Some people might look at my parent’s reaction to the pregnancy news as naïve, but as they’d explained when we’d gotten to their house – I wasn’t the type of guy to get something like that wrong. I just wasn’t. They knew her dad too, and he was one of the most upfront, honest and decent men around. Her mom was an iconic actress who did a lot for charity and raising awareness of different issues too, so she had no reason to lie. Plus, Lily herself had a great reputation and had helped a lot of people out since they’d moved here. In fact, it hadn’t even been a year, but if I’d have called bullshit at the news when it had been revealed earlier, most of the town we lived in would have beaten the shit out of me. That’s how loved she was. Why? Because she was just like her parents – a decent, honest person who would do anything for anyone.

In time, all the doubters would come around, I was sure of it. Right now though, the only people who mattered were Lily and the baby.

I wonder if it was a girl or boy? At what stage of a pregnancy could you find that out?

Deciding sleep was overrated, I picked up my phone and started doing some searching online to answer the billion questions in my mind.

Would it have a penis or a vagina already?

When could we find out what gender it was?

When would it start talking, and would it drown inside her if it hiccupped?

Could a fetus sneeze or fart? Where did the air go if it did?

The list was endless, but surprisingly enough there were actual answers for these questions on the web.

The answer to the first one was – there wouldn’t be anything on the outside for another couple of weeks, but on the inside they either had balls or ovaries. I’d double checked if there was someone who had a high-powered microscope scan thingy so we could take a look at its crotch in two weeks, but sadly that was a no.

The second one was a bit easier, but the wait was going to be painful. The advice was that you’d likely get the right answer (if the technician knew what the hell they were doing, which judging by some of the stories on parenting groups quite a few hadn’t) if you waited until at least eighteen to twenty weeks into the pregnancy. Bummer!

There was a site that outlined home methods of finding out the gender, like boiling red cabbage and mixing it with Lily’s pee. If it turned pink, it was a girl. If it turned purple, it was a boy. This made me panic slightly because what if it was between pink and purple, then what? What shade of purple were we talking here? Then there was a baking soda test where you add some to the pee. I knew about this one because Luna had done it when she was pregnant with Jamie – if I remembered correctly it came out wrong too, so that one didn’t fool me. There was one that Lily could do tomorrow where you put a key down, and if she picks up the narrow end, it’s a girl. If she picks up the big round end, it’s a boy. I had keys with me and Lily had keys, so no matter what we could totally do that.