Going For Gold (Providence Gold 4)

And I still found her just as beautiful as I had before, and fuck the man card – I loved her even more deeply than I had before.

Pointing at her body self-consciously, she said, “I know I don’t look like I did a month ago, but I wanted to show you that I could do things for you, too.”

Closing the distance between us, I stood in front of her intending to crouch down, but she stopped me. “Baby, you look as beautiful as you did a month ago.”

Sighing, she looked up at the ceiling. “I’m bruised all over and you’re having to carry me emotionally and mentally, Levi. You run around doing stuff for me all the time, and I can’t do anything for you. That’s not a relationship, at least not for us it isn’t.”

I had to lean down because she was holding my hips now and I didn’t want to risk hurting her. She might see it as carrying her, but it was far from that.

Cupping her jaw with my hands, I outlined it for her. Firmly. “Lottie, look at me.” When she realized I wasn’t going to let her away with not doing it, she looked me in the eye. “I’m not carrying you and this isn’t an uneven relationship at all. It’s my honor to help you get back to where you were. In the last two months you’ve been through things that most people – if they’re lucky – don’t go through even once in their lifetimes. And both times you’ve tried to continue like nothing’s happened, and our minds just don’t work that way. Right now you need help, you need someone to support you physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it is an absolute fucking privilege to be the man who does that for you.” When the tears started trailing down her cheeks, I moved to kiss her softly. “Don’t ever look at it as being an uneven relationship, because you’re the one who’s carried me mentally and emotionally through all of this, too.”

“I have?”

I let her see how serious I was and added the words so that she could hear it as well. “I couldn’t have gotten through it without you, Lottie.”

And that was no fucking exaggeration. I couldn’t have. I was in a dark place after that night, one I hadn’t been in since Luna had been taken. It had left raw areas inside me that Lottie had healed with everything she did.

Wiping off her cheeks with her hands, she leaned into me. “I want to do more for you.”

“More?” What else could she do? She literally gave me everything, there wasn’t anything more that I needed from her.

Moving her hands to my ribs, she nudged me to stand up in front of her and reached for the zip of my pants. “I wasn’t sure what the best way to do this for a guy was, so I searched online,” she admitted, making me burst out laughing.

“Lottie, I don’t need you to do this. I’m honestly good with just holding you until you’re better.”

Yanking my pants and shorts down, she slowly lifted my t-shirt. “I need to do this for you. We’re restricted, but we’re not totally cut off.”

Then her soft hand enveloped my cock and started to move up and down its length, making my legs shake slightly. Pulling my t-shirt off the rest of the way, I threw it behind me as I kicked my pants to the side of the room leaving me totally naked in front of her.

With her free hand, she skimmed her palm up my stomach until she got to my chest, and then she lightly dug her nails in and dragged them back down. Christ, her nails always got me and she knew it.

Gently taking her ponytail and wrapping it around my hand, I pulled her closer to me. “Are you sure?”

Angling my cock up toward her mouth, she paused as she tipped her head back to smile up at me. “I’m going to blow your mind.”

And fuck me she did. I’d given her tips on sucking me before she’d gotten hurt, but it had always been as part of our foreplay. Whatever she’d read had gone into shit that I never even knew about.

Keeping her tongue flat, she slowly ran it down the full length of my cock, holding the tip with her hand and raising it up as she got closer to my balls. Once she’d reached them, she started to ascend back up until she got to the top, then dragged a slow swipe over the head.

“Holy shit,” I croaked, unable to look away from what was going on. I even begrudged the millisecond it took to blink because I was missing some of it to do it.

Leaning slightly away, she moved her hand down, so that she was now holding it at the base. I want to say that I could predict what she was going to do but there was no urgency in her movements, so it was impossible to tell. She was running the show, and whatever she had going on in her head was how it was going to happen.