Second Chance Baby

Until it sank in that I didn’t have curtains on my bedroom windows in my little apartment. Wooden slat blinds all the way. That meant the sunlight was coming through the curtains somewhere else. Somewhere I didn’t have a sleep mask to put on and keep myself properly defended from the early morning sunlight. Like my parents’ house.

It all crashed back down on me. The night before was the barbecue my parents threw, and so I did my part to contribute to the event by getting drunk and reminiscing with Mason. So drunk, in fact, that I couldn’t even drive myself home. Which was how I ended up spending the night in my childhood bedroom. With the exception of posters, pictures, awards, and other uncomfortable memorabilia of youth, everything about the room was kept the way it was right before I left.

I groaned and dropped my face into my hands. “Ugh. I am ridiculous.”

Something shifted beside me, and the movement startled me. Gasping, I jumped to the side and looked down. A pink sleeping bag with Stephanie’s head on top sat bolt upright and turned to look at me. Stephanie’s hair was a swirling mass on the top of her head and down her face.

“So am I,” she said.

I laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“Same as you. Sleeping it off,” she said.

She wiggled her arms out of the sleeping bag and pushed it down to her waist. I noticed she was wearing a pajama top I recognized as one of mine from high school. Mom really had just kept all my clothes exactly as they were.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, pushing my hair back away from my forehead. My memories of the evening before were a little murky, and a flicker of worry went through me. “So… what exactly are we sleeping off? I don’t remember coming to bed, and I’m having a bit of trouble piecing together everything that happened last night.”

“Well,” Stephanie said, scrambling up onto the bed beside me, “you left the barbecue for a little while. I figured you just needed some time away from everything.”

“You mean away from Mason,” I said.

She hesitated. “Yes. But then he noticed you were gone and went to find you.”

I nodded. “I remember that. I was sitting on the porch having a drink, and he came out to talk to me.”

“When you came back, the two of you were pretty chummy.”

“Oh, no,” I groaned. “Did anybody notice?”

“Everybody noticed,” she said. I groaned again and flopped forward over my bent legs. She patted my back. “But don’t worry, it wasn’t like you were crawling on each other or anything. You were just super friendly and a little flirty. You started drinking, so I started drinking, so we drank together. And that’s how we ended up here.”

I sat up and sighed. “Well, I guess that’s not so bad. It’s like our old sleepovers.”

“It’s a little different than our old sleepovers. We weren’t drunk during those,” Stephanie pointed out.

“No, but they usually involved a lot of talk about Mason, so that’s right on par.”

“True. So, what happened on that porch?” she asked.

I let out a breath. “We finally had that talk. He asked me what happened and why I left the way I did. We’ve never really talked about it. It finally gave me the chance to open up about how painful losing the baby was and that I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do next. It was too hard, and I didn’t know how to handle it. So, I left.”

“How did he react to that?”.

“Better than I thought,” I said. “He told me he looked up miscarriages and learned about all of it. He wanted to be able to help me through it if I came back.”

Stephanie looked stunned. She blinked a couple times. “Wow. I wouldn’t have expected that.”

“I know. Neither would I. Not that he’s a bad guy or anything, but I just never thought he would go to those lengths.”

“So, what does this mean?” Stephanie asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe nothing. Except…”

“Except?”

“He kissed me,” I said.

Stephanie gasped, her hands covering her mouth. “At the barbecue?”

“No. At the bar. A few days ago.”

“He kissed you a few days ago and you didn’t tell me?” she asked, obviously frustrated.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. We were just getting ready for the workday, and he gave me a fast kiss. That was it. Nothing long and drawn-out or anything. I didn’t even know what to think about it,” I said.

“What do you think about it now?” she asked.

“I’m still not sure.”

That evening I showed up at the bar, trying to prepare myself for seeing Mason. I didn’t know what it was going to be like between us, but I was hopeful. Walking into the bar, I looked over to where he usually was and saw Tyler standing there instead. He noticed me and waved.