Under My Enemy's Roof - Under Him

“Oh, it’s not trouble. I could get Phil to help.”

“No thanks,” I insisted.

As if I wanted this woman to touch and look at all my stuff? Uh, no thanks. And great. Phil was home already. So, I had to deal with that jerk, too. I brushed past Daphene and went upstairs.

Cresting the top step, I could smell the vape juice. So disgusting. Why do people vape? It’s like they repackaged smoking and resold it to stupid people.

“Hey,” greeted Phil, sucking on an electronic cancer stick. “Is that all the stuff you had at school? You travel light.”

“No,” I growled. “And here’s your dog’s stupid toy. Try not to leave it in the yard next time.”

“He’s a dog. He doesn’t put his toys away.”

“I know, that’s why I’m suggesting you do it.”

“I didn’t know it was there. What’s the big deal?”

“Well, besides the fact that someone will run over it with a lawn mower, I nearly broke my neck stepping on it!” I informed him.

“Jeez, sorry,” he laughed. “You seem really annoyed. But that’s pretty much you all the time, isn’t it?”

“Screw you,” I sneered, closing the door in his face.

I texted Diamond.

“Just got home. He’s here already.”

“Send me a pic!” joked Diamond, adding a tongue emoticon. “Also, I’m blowing up on Tik Tok.”

Checking the feed, I saw that Diamond had done a rant while driving home. She was annoyed that the state couldn’t figure out the virus faster.

Basically, she complained about first world problems from her car, which her parents gave her--- leaving her college, that her parents paid for--- and going home to luxuriate for God-knows-how-long in her parents’ huge house. Tough life in America.

I wanted to wait until Phil left the hallway. The less interaction we had, the better. He was just hanging out there, sucking on that Juul stick. Giving him five minutes, I saw that he still hadn’t left, so I just decided to go back to the car.

“Got more stuff in the car?” he asked.

I was pretty sure he was just asking to annoy me. Rather than give him the satisfaction of a reaction, I just went downstairs.

His dog passed me on the way, nearly tripping me. He was one of those big, friendly, dopey dogs. You had to watch yourself with a drink if you sat on the couch, because he’d just leap onto your lap without warning and knock it over.

He was definitely a cute dog and it wasn’t his fault he was so bad. It was all Phil’s fault, of course. You’d think he would’ve trained him, but no.

Back outside in the car, I decided just to grab my comforter. Since it was so bulky, I could carry nothing else.

Halfway back across the lawn, the sprinklers came on and I got wet. I ended up getting the comforter damp. I took a detour to the dryer and threw it inside for a tumble.

Upstairs, I could hear Phil laughing. Did he know that? Did he turn on the sprinklers?! I marched upstairs and saw him on his phone, still standing in the hall.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I said suspiciously. “What are you watching?”

“Some stupid video about a talking squirrel.”

“Oh.”

I went back for more boxes. With the sprinklers on, I decided to move the car closer to the side door. After moving it, I opened the trunk.

Of course, during the drive, everything had shifted, and I had books and notebooks all over the place. Additionally, one of the boxes I had them stacked in burst open from the weight.

Grabbing an armful, I trudged back up the stairs.

Phil was still in the hallway.

What is wrong with this asshole?

I struggled to open the door.

“Ya know, you might help me,” I griped.

“You told my mother you didn’t want help,” he noted, still staring at his phone. “Plus, I had offered, and you turned me down, too.”

Well, I didn’t want his mother’s help. If I was being honest, I didn’t want his help either until now that I was getting tired. I was damp, annoyed, had grass stains on my pants and generally just wanted to lie down.

But it was true I’d been offered help and refused. So, I guess I did this to myself.

Back to the car, this time I grabbed my laptop, a backpack full of stuff and an armful of clothes. This time, I was careful to stick to the driveway and sidewalks.

It took a little longer, but I didn’t want to drop my clothes since it had just rained. When I finally trudged upstairs, Phil was gone.

Diamond texted me. She wanted to know what I thought of her Tik Tok video. I said it was great even though I had barely watched it. The compliment was enough to get her going, I guess. Not she even asked how I was doing.

God! How many more trips did I have to take to the car?!