Under My Enemy's Roof - Under Him

“He price one!” laughed Gillian. “Seriously, we have so much food stockpiled here. If the world ends, come on by. Just wave so dad doesn’t shoot you.”

“I’ll remember. What’s it like eating out of cans?”

“Well, we’re not at that point yet,” she relayed. “Mom had her normal food run, but dad’s like--- No, that’s over now.”

“Jeez.”

“Yeah and he got a bunch of MRE’s too.”

“What’s that?”

“The army meals. They come in these shrink wrapped packages and everything’s in there to make a meal. It even has these like heating elements you mix together and it heats up the food.”

“Wow, cool. Are they good?”

“They’re heavy and shit,” she recalled. “I mean, they’re supposed to be calorie dense for soldiers in the field running around. They had this milkshake. And you know me and milkshakes, right? Well, I could barely drink a quart of this one and I was like--- No, I’m done. I’m so full!”

“Crazy. Speaking of calories, I think I need something to eat. Let me go. I’m sure I’ll be talking to you again.”

“Yeah, check you later.”

I got myself a snack out of the pantry and headed up to my room in a towel. I was going to need to shower off all this chlorine. I hate the smell.

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Phil--- buck naked--- Just strolls out and into his room! Holy shit! Wow.

I wasn’t turned on – or, at least, I was trying not to be— but he seemed to be in greatshape. Guess if he had a different personality and was someone else… no, weird. What am I saying? That’s weird even for a thought.

I told myself to pretend I hadn’t just seen what I had seen. But it was a lot harder to do than I’d thought.Chapter Seven - PhilWe were three days in and, for the most part, I had isolated myself from the rest of the family. The comics podcast grinded on, I was keeping up on the news online and I had never gotten so far in video games in my life. But then, my glorious relaxation was interrupted by a knock.

“Hey, Phil,” said Richard. “Got a sec?”

I closed the windows of my browser. I had so many open, I didn’t want to take any chances.

“Yeah, sure,” I said.

“Why don’t we have a chat?” he offered. “Meet me in my study in a minute?”

Study? Oh, no. What is this? Guess he’s trying to be a buddy. Oh, well, best to get it over with it.

“Yeah-yeah, give me a sec. I’ll meet you.”

When I got down into his “study” he was sitting there with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

“C’mon in,” he offered. “Close the door.”

I did and sat down. He slid over a tumbler of whiskey. I raised an eyebrow.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Your mother doesn’t have to know.”

I took a sip. It was smooth stuff, but burned a little.

“Nice,” I said. “So what’s on your mind, Richard?”

“Just thought we could have a chat. Man to man,” he offered. “You want a cigar? Go ahead. They’re Cuban.”

I knew this was a ploy just to get on my good side, but I had never really tried a cigar before. Especially not a good one. The Cuban ones were legendary.

“Yeah, sure,” I said unafraid.

He clipped it for me. I put it in my mouth and he lit the end. It’s strong, robust flavor filled my lungs. I coughed.

“You’ll get used to it,” he assured. “Phil, I know this transition probably hasn’t been easy for you. I can’t imagine what you think of me.”

“Does it matter?”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’ll be out of the house soon. You’ll have mom all to yourself.”

“Look, how many relationships have you been in?” he asked.

“Twoish,” I offered, which was still a stretch.

“Well, you got a taste of what it’s like to deal with women. I’ve been where you’re at. Young, looking to impress the ladies--- I know that urge. It never really leaves you, but thankfully it levels off as you get older.”

“Please, Richard, spare me,” I sighed. “You were cheating with my mother.”

“I know,” he said, looking away, ashamed. “Not the best way to start things. But your mother was unhappy with your father. It’s no one’s fault, but it was going to lead to a divorce eventually, right?”

“Maybe.”

“C’mon, I didn’t hypnotize her.”

“You didn’t help.”

“True. Look, I take responsibility for what I did, but I love your mother. I want what’s best for her and you.”

“That ship has sailed,” I offered. “Would’ve been best if we were still a family.”

“Granted, but that ship has sailed,” Richard offered. “We get dealt the cards we’re dealt and have to make the best of it. We can be enemies. Like you said, you’re out of here soon. I’d rather be---“

“Don’t say friends,” I begged. “Please don’t.”

“Then whatever. Acquaintances that tolerate each other?” he offered. “When you’re older and you’ve been around, you’ll probably have a better perspective on this. Women are…fickle. They’re work to keep. You keep your wife happy or she leaves.”