On My Knees (Stark International Trilogy 2)

I just nod, realizing that I’ve struck a nerve.

“The bottom line is that I don’t want Ronnie growing up in the midst of high drama. She’s had enough trouble, and now with Tony passing it’s hard enough for Megan to focus.”

“Can she take care of Ronnie? I mean, if she’s not taking her meds?”

“We’ve had a few heated discussions about that very thing. But I’m not family, so there’s not a lot I can do. Not legally, anyway.” His voice is bitter. Harsh. After a moment, he looks straight at me. “Syl, I need to tell—never mind.”

I move to him and take his hand. “What?”

“I just need to fix this—and I don’t know how.”

“Fix it? You mean, get Megan better? Back on her meds?”

There is a long pause before he nods.

“You can talk to her,” I suggest. “To her family.”

He draws a deep breath. “I do. But she swears she’s going to take them religiously. And she says she has enough help.”

“Does she?”

“How much is enough? Megan’s grandmother helps out. And there’s some extended family in the area, too.”

“Arvin?”

“No.”

I don’t ask. From the way Jackson said the word, I can guess that the circumstances surrounding Megan’s pregnancy didn’t meet with her father’s approval.

“At any rate, now you know most of it. There’s more, of course. But the bottom line is that I want Reed to keep his nosy, voyeuristic ass away from the people I care about.” He reaches for my hand. “Can you understand that?”

“Yeah.” I squeeze his fingers. “I do. And I really am sorry I was such a bitch earlier.”

He chuckles. “You weren’t.”

“Oh, I totally was.”

He moves his hand to my cheek and I lean against it, soaking in his warmth. I look up at his face, and his expression is fierce. “No,” he says. The word is firm.

He sucks in air, then runs his fingers through his hair before pushing out of his chair and walking across the open space to a window that overlooks the open sea. He looks out at the darkness, and I can see the tension in his shoulders. I want to go to him, to hold him and help him ease his worry about his friends. But I force myself to stay seated. To wait until he’s said everything there is to say.

“I don’t want to keep secrets from you.” He is still facing the window, but now he turns. “I don’t. But at the same time, things will come out when they come out. Does that make sense? Do you understand?”

“You know I do,” I say. “I said so when you told me that Damien is your brother. I don’t have a right to your secrets. And it’s wrong of me to get bitchy and make it worse for you.” I think of my own secrets—painful ones that I’ve held close. That I haven’t yet shared with this man I love. This man I trust.

I draw a breath for courage. “Honestly, I’m not really sure how much of today was even about you or Megan or any of those other women. I was in a pissy mood, and on any other day I might have actually handled the whole thing like a sane person.”

Immediately, his eyes sharpen. “Why? What happened?”

“Nothing specific,” I lie. “Just a bad day.”

The truth is that I’ve realized that I do want to tell him everything about Reed and my dad and the whole shebang. I want to spill it all out. I want him to hold me close and soothe me and tell me that the storm inside me will subside. That he will help make it so.

But I don’t want to tell him today. Not when I’ve just seen so much evidence of his own worries and fears.

Mine can wait. They’ve already waited years. Another day won’t matter.

He is watching my face, his expression knowing. “Now who’s the one keeping secrets?”

“Me,” I admit. “But it can wait.” I reach out and take his hand. “Truly.”

His brow furrows as he moves closer to me. He’s right there in front of me, and I can feel the power and concern radiating off him, and all of it is directed at me. “Don’t ever think that.”

I blink, confused. “Think what?”

“That you need to pull your punches with me.”

“Pull my—what?”

“Don’t think you have to coddle me if I’ve had a bad day.”

“I’m not,” I say, then realize it’s a lie the second the words spill out. “Okay, maybe I am, but what’s wrong with that? You want to take care of Megan and Ronnie, right? Well, I want to take care of you.”