The Amendment (The Contract 2)

“Something to strive for.”

My wife always knew what to say. Because she was right. I would push for it. For all of it.

Simply thinking of last night made my cock twitch. Katy had been so beautiful in her desire, taking me to new heights with her as we soared in a blaze of passion together. Our lovemaking had been a reaffirmation of us and our commitment to each other. When I thought of how close I came to throwing that—throwing us—away, because of my pride and inability to express my fears, I shuddered. A lifetime without Katy and my girls wasn’t a life. I would exist, but not live.

I spun my chair around and picked up my phone, punching in the numbers with more force than needed.

It rang three times before he picked up. He knew it was me, but he answered with his usual greeting.

“Graham Gavin.”

“Graham, it’s Richard.”

I didn’t know what to expect. Silence. Coldness. A dismissive reception. But I should have known better. It was Graham after all.

“Richard VanRyan. How are you?”

“Ah, good, Graham.” I cleared my throat. “I’m doing well.”

“That’s good to hear. Katy and the girls settling back in all right?”

“Yeah, they are. We’re all good. Really good.”

“Excellent. Is there something I can do for you?”

It was then I heard it. The disconnect. The distance. He was being kind but reserved and was holding himself back. Hardly a surprise given how I had acted.

“I was wondering if you could spare some time to meet with me?”

“Is there an HR issue or some other business you need to talk about?”

I shut my eyes, knowing how hard I was going to have to work to fix this. Next to Katy and my girls, Graham was my closest ally. He wasn’t simply a boss. He was my friend and family.

“Yes, there is an issue, Graham. My behavior. I would like to see you and apologize for it and discuss what the future holds.”

For a moment, there was silence. When he spoke, his voice had lost some of the formality it held.

“Do you see a future now, Richard?”

“Yes, I do. It’s amazing how clear the view can be when one pulls his head out of his ass.”

Graham barked out a laugh. “So I’ve heard.”

“Please, Graham. I need to speak with you. Face-to-face.” I pulled in a long breath. “I’ll come to the office if you prefer.”

He was quiet, and I knew he was pondering. I could hear his fingers drumming on his desk as he contemplated how to handle me. If he would insist on me coming to him or he would allow me to apologize in the comfort of my own home.

“I will come there. I think it’s best at this point,” he stated. “Later this afternoon work for you?”

“Yes,” I responded, grateful. “Anytime.”

“I’ll see you at four.” He hung up.

I set down the phone and scrubbed my face. This wasn’t going to be easy, yet it had to be done.

The sound of more hilarity outside brought me out of my growing unease. My goal, my one real need in life, was waiting for me out in the sun, their love assured and beckoning.

I decided to go and soak up the love that waited. I would deal with Graham this afternoon.I spent the morning with my family, hours with Colin, then I worked out on my own, pushing myself until I was a sweating mass of shaking limbs. I used the parallel bars and walked until I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. Gracie was my little shadow, following me around the room, handing me my water bottle and towel, doing her “cercises,” at the same time. My pint-sized cheerleader clapped her hands, counted with me, and kept my spirits up. She could count to fifteen now, and I knew soon enough that would go higher. She was a smart little girl, taking after her mother in that sense. Thank God.

Her reward was a trip up and down in the elevator on my knee—ten times. I’d make funny faces and noises, making her giggle and squeal, which in turn made me smile.

Aiden was right. The damn thing was fun.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Katy had any elevator fantasies. I bet those could be fun too.20RichardGraham arrived, Laura with him, shortly before four. Katy was greeting them as I rolled around the corner. We regarded one another in silence as they hugged her and Gracie, and Laura inquired about Heather. I moved the chair forward and extended my hand.

“Graham.”

He shook my hand, his grip firm. Laura leaned down and brushed my cheek with her lips.

“You are looking well.”

“I feel well.”

Katy laid her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. Reaching up, I grasped it like a lifeline.

“I made coffee,” she said.

“We bake cookies!” Gracie exclaimed, tugging on Laura’s hand. “Come, Nana L, come hab cookies!”