One Night Rodeo (Blacktop Cowboys 4)

“According to the case file, over a month ago. Since your marriage certificate wasn’t the only one affected by the Winds of Change permit lapse and subsequent closure of the Trade Winds Casino, there’s an active file on it, and all inquiries are directed solely to me.”

“So you’re telling me Mr. Gilchrist knew about this?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Kyle had found out their marriage wasn’t valid and he’d somehow forgotten to tell her?

Bullshit. He hadn’t told her because he wouldn’t have made it through calving season without her.

A very sharp pain stabbed near her heart.

Was he really that calculating? Throw in the constant mind-boggling sex…

“Is there anything else I can help you with, Miss Lawson?”

“No. Thank you.” Numb, she hung up and wandered out of the office.

She stopped in the doorway of their bedroom. Seemed foolish, her happiness this morning that he’d made the bed without prompting.

She managed to keep her tears in check until she entered the living room. She’d been filled with so much pride that her first foray into home decorating had turned out so well. The comfy furniture, the carpet, the vibrant curtains. Even the western painting on the wall made the space so indelibly theirs.

Celia clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the cry and dropped onto the loveseat. She’d thought of this house as her home the first week they’d moved in. Had she really believed she could shake hands with Kyle at the end of six months and walk away like they’d completed a business transaction? When they’d been as intimate as two people can possibly be?

She loved him. So what was she supposed to do now? Confront him? Ask what he was waiting for and why he hadn’t told her about the invalidity of their marriage?

There was that stabbing pain near her heart again. She had no claim on him. She didn’t care about having a claim to his inheritance if they weren’t married, but she’d really thought of him, and this place, as hers.

She had no one to talk to about this. No one. Everyone believed their marriage was real.

She’d never felt so alone in her life.

Celia couldn’t face him. Not when her emotions were so raw. She went to the guest bedroom closet and found her duffel bag. Almost on automatic, she shoved a couple changes of clothes inside and added the toiletries she’d need for a night away, even when she had no idea where she’d go.

Don’t run. Stay and fight.

No. The old Celia would argue, accuse, talk without listening. The new Celia needed time to sort through this.

With heavy footsteps and a heavier heart, she climbed into her pickup. She couldn’t look at her horses, standing by the fence. She’d have to remind Kyle to feed them tonight.

At the Stop sign at the end of the gravel road she really seemed to be at a crossroads. Right took her to Rawlins. Left took her to Muddy Gap. Neither choice seemed right. Part of her wanted to spin around and head back to the ranch. Pretend nothing had changed. Because they were happy together. Weren’t they?

But the fear that Kyle might look her in the eye and tell her it was over kept her from turning around. She needed to toughen up and prepare herself for that possibility.

Ultimately she turned left. Toward Muddy Gap.

Her stomach growled as she drove through town, but facing the diner regulars in her frame of mind wasn’t happening. The Closed sign hung on the front door of Bernice’s Beauty Barn, but Celia noticed the back end of Bernice’s Chrysler Imperial sticking out in the parking area, so she pulled in.

Bernice opened the metal door a crack, and barked, “What?” at Celia’s knock before she poked her head out. Her scowl morphed into a smile. “Hey, girl, come on in. I was just catching up on orders.” She flicked her half-finished, still-smoking cigarette butt into the snow. For a second, Celia thought about diving for it to keep that precious tobacco from going to waste.

Pathetic, Celia.

“You comin’ in or what?” Bernice barked.

“Yeah.” Celia let the door slam behind her.

“What brings you to town?” Bernice rubbed her hands gleefully. “You finally gonna let me cut that hair? Or would Kyle have an issue with that?”

She almost said, “Who cares what the f**k Kyle thinks? Let’s do it.” Facing a major life trauma was no time to enact such a huge change.

Bernice led her to the sitting area. “So, sugar, not that I’m not happy to see you, but you don’t look happy. What’s up?”

Celia, who prided herself on not being a crybaby-type of woman, burst into tears for the two-millionth time. Maybe not that many, but it sure seemed like it. She didn’t babble or blurt anything out, she just sobbed.

Bernice handed her a box of tissues and didn’t speak until Celia’s tears subsided. “That first fight as a married couple is always the hardest,” Bernice said softly.

Celia dabbed her eyes. That was as good an explanation for her hysteria as any. She expected Bernice would offer surprise that she and Kyle hadn’t fought before now. But Bernice said nothing along those lines, and Celia knew she’d done the right thing coming here.

“I remember my first married fight with Bob. He’d said something stupid off the cuff because most men are clueless dumb asses and it takes a while to train them. Anyway, I thought my world had ended, even as I was wondering if I could get away with killing him for hurting my feelings.”

“What did you do?”