With Every Breath (Slow Burn 4)

Right now, the families of the victims had no doubt been told, just as she had been, that Thomas Harrington was being freed in a very short time. They were likely feeling every single emotion Eliza had felt—was still feeling. Betrayal. Rage. Sorrow. Grief. A deep sense of injustice. They had likely lost all faith in the justice system sworn to uphold the law and sworn to punish those who broke it. But they were helpless to do anything about it. They would dream of revenge and retribution. Of justice. But Eliza would serve it cold.

And this was where Eliza differed from the others who might entertain unholy thoughts of making Thomas suffer a long and painful death. She could do something about it. She would do something about it even if it meant her own death. In many ways she’d died ten years ago when she’d realized just how stupid and very naïve she’d been. So very gullible. She was as guilty and complicit in the murder of those women as Thomas himself and she’d never forgive herself for the atrocities committed. Yes, she had died and been reborn another woman. Eliza Cummings. She’d become Eliza and had embraced a new chance. The opportunity to start over. To make a difference. To help protect those who needed protection. To seek justice for those who couldn’t. And somehow she’d managed to buy into her new-but-not-real new identity. What a fool she’d been to ever think she could atone for her sins and outrun her past. Death could only be delayed, not avoided.

In some ways . . . She stopped, frozen by the thought as it floated through her mind before she could call it back. Her heart pounded and her palms grew sweaty as she tried to open the door to her car. But she realized that thought had been there since the morning of the phone call. In the instant she’d made her decision, it had been there, only she’d ignored it, refusing to give voice to it. Refusing to acknowledge it because it made her weak, something she’d sworn never to be again.

But she had deserved to die with Thomas. And now, she was fully prepared for her death. It was her punishment. Justice being served, finally, to the fullest. Thomas had been the only one who had paid when he’d been sentenced to life in prison. She hadn’t. But she’d deserved the same punishment and now that she’d sentenced him to death by her own sense of justice, not only was it likely she’d die taking him down, it was no less than she deserved. She embraced it with calm resolution. Didn’t fear it. No longer would she try so hard to avoid the inevitable. Maybe then she would have a semblance of peace and maybe God would grant mercy on her soul for the sins she’d committed when she’d been little more than a child, powerless against the manipulation of an older more experienced man. No, not man. Psychopath. Monster. The kind that only existed in nightmares and horror movies.

The very face of evil.

Only he wasn’t a nightmare. He wasn’t fiction, some book or movie. He was very real.

She yanked open her car door and threw herself inside, backing from her parking spot at the DSS building just as she saw Dane exit the building. She made certain she didn’t make eye contact with him, but she watched from the corner of her eye as he waved in a motion for her to stop. At least by not overtly glancing in his direction, she could plead ignorance when he asked her—and he would—why the hell she’d ignored him.

Oh hell no she wasn’t stopping. When she faced Dane, she had to have her shit together and her best game face on. She accelerated a little too sharply, her tires barking in protest as she barreled from the parking garage. No doubt her esteemed leader, partner—Dane filled many roles at DSS—wanted to interrogate her and that was the last thing she needed. She had seen the looks Dane and the rest of her coworkers cast her way when they thought she wasn’t looking. They were all filled with concern, making her cringe and guilt wash through her all over again. They all knew something was up and that she wasn’t herself, but Dane would know better than anyone. She and Dane had worked together far too long and Dane never missed a goddamn thing.

The man had a way of making a person squirm with a look. No words were necessary. All he’d have to do is stare at her and she’d be blurting her confession with no prompting whatsoever and then he’d lock her up if he had to. No way he’d let her fulfill what she now considered her sacred mission. Her last mission. A mission that was more important than any other she’d ever undertaken.

She chanced a glance in her rearview mirror and grimaced as she saw Dane standing in the middle of the traffic lane to the parking garage, a frown on his face as he stared broodingly after her.

She couldn’t avoid him forever but until she was ready, until she was composed enough to carry off the biggest—only—lie she’d ever told her most trusted friend, she would continue to brush him and the others off and run like a bat out of hell anytime one of them had the opportunity to get her alone.

Just a few more days, she promised herself. A few more days to pull the rest of her plan together, to gather everything she needed and give her carefully orchestrated lie to Dane and then she’d be on her way.

Sorrow gripped her and she briefly closed her eyes before pulling into traffic. It would be the last time she saw any of them, which is why she’d approach Dane after the “state of the union” meeting given the first of every month by either Caleb Devereaux or his brother, Beau, in the offices of DSS.

It would give her one last opportunity to see the people who’d grown so important to her. Her family. People she would and did go to the wall for each and every day. People who did the same for her. Her only regret was that she wouldn’t see the Devereaux wives and Zack’s wife, Gracie, before she left.

She inwardly flinched because she knew she’d hurt Gracie’s feelings more than once by avoiding her every time Gracie had been around Eliza. Eliza had promptly fled when Gracie appeared, and it had been obvious to the other woman, and the last thing in the world Eliza ever wanted to do was hurt Gracie.

Gracie was the epitome of sweet, and she’d already been hurt so much in her young life. She was shy and still struggling with her confidence. Eliza was so very happy that Gracie and Zack had found their way back to one another after over a decade of misery for both of them, but especially Gracie. Eliza dearly loved all the wives. Ramie, Ari and Gracie. And Tori Devereaux, Caleb’s, Beau’s and Quinn’s baby sister, who like the other women had suffered greatly at the hands of a madman. She had been brutalized by a serial killer and was still recovering from the horrific attack. Perhaps she’d never fully recover but then Eliza could hardly blame her.