With Every Breath (Slow Burn 4)

As if to confirm every single word he’d given her, beautiful words that brought the sting of tears to her eyes, he lavished kisses over every inch of her body almost as if determined to prove to her how beautiful he found her. Would he feel the same once he knew the full truth?

She shook her head in silent denial. She wouldn’t think of that now. Couldn’t bear it when his eyes turned condemning and he backed away, judgment shining in those dark eyes. For now, she only wanted this. Him loving her. Nothing mattering except this moment because when it was over, the truth would be revealed and once more she’d be alone to deal with her demons in the only way she knew how.

“Baby, you aren’t with me.”

Wade’s softly chiding voice broke through her thoughts and she glanced down to where his palm splayed possessively over her abdomen and his head was lifted so he could look into her eyes.

“I’m with you,” she whispered. “Please, Wade. I need this . . . I need you. Please.”

Something stirred in his eyes, something dark and primitive, almost as if her admission sealed her fate. Chill bumps erupted and danced over her body as his hand glided upward over her belly to cup one breast, weighing the slight mound in his palm. His thumb brushed sensuously over her nipple, coaxing it to complete rigidity so it was puckered and straining, begging for his mouth.

Accepting the invitation, he lowered his head and closed his mouth around her nipple, creating a seal as he sucked the point firmly between his teeth. She closed her eyes, arching helplessly upward, wanting more, needing so much more.

“Dreamed of this so many times,” he murmured as he pressed gentle kisses around the swell of her breast before moving to the other one and lavishing equal attention on it. “Knew if it ever happened, I was done. Knew that once I claimed you that you were mine and more importantly I was yours. I belong to you. You need to see this for what it is, Eliza. You need to realize the significance of this. You’re mine now and I won’t let you go. And what is mine I protect with my last breath. You don’t stand alone. Not anymore. Not ever again. You have me now and you aren’t fighting your battles without me anymore.”

“Wade,” she protested helplessly, overcome with the enormity of all he’d just confessed. “You can’t. You don’t understand.”

His gaze hardened but there was such tenderness in those dark eyes as he bent his head and licked away the single trail of tears that escaped down her cheek.

“What I understand is that I’ll be damned if you cry another tear when I’m not there to hold you and tell you it’ll be all right. You’ll never cry alone again, Eliza. You won’t cry at all if I can help it. Your tears are killing me, baby. I can’t handle seeing you cry. It’s the most helpless feeling in the entire goddamn world. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll never give you any reason to cry ever again. And I’ll kill anyone who puts those tears in your eyes.”

She closed her eyes, knowing if she didn’t pull herself together that she’d erupt into sobs and this time she wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t be able to stop.

“Make love to me,” she whispered, for the first time not asking him to fuck her.

She winced inwardly at the crude, thoughtless words. As if she considered him some kind of emotionless machine. It had been an insult, not one she’d meant to hand him. It was herself she had been trying to convince that it was just fucking and nothing more. Nothing deeper or more personal.

Self-preservation ran deep within her. It was the only thing she’d known since leaving Calvary so many years ago.

Wade cupped her face in his hands as he rolled atop her, his hard, muscled body blanketing hers and his heat seeping deep into her bones, warming her as nothing else could. He kissed her long and lingeringly, his tongue lapping ever so slowly over hers as though he were trying to commit her taste and feel to memory. She was doing the same because after this one time, he would go. She’d never see him again. And the memory of his lovemaking would be all she had to hold on to in the coming days.

“Got to get a condom, baby,” he whispered against her lips. “Don’t move.”

She watched as he rolled away from her, leaned down and yanked a condom from the pocket of his jeans where they lay on the floor. Then he was back, sliding back over her, his knee spreading her thighs to him.

He deftly rolled the condom on and then he lifted his hips, one hand holding her hip while the other tangled in her hair holding her head so their gazes locked.

“See me, Eliza. Only me. Don’t look away. I want your eyes on mine while I make love to you.”

Her eyelids fluttered, the temptation to close her eyes strong because some truths were hard to accept and she was suddenly shy and so very uncertain. He seemed to know the conflicting emotions that ran wildly through her. His expression gentled and went soft. Her chest tightened to the point of pain to see him looking at her with such tenderness in his eyes.

She gasped when he probed at her opening, the blunt head of his penis nudging at her softness. He didn’t overpower her or just shove inside her. He very slowly, with infinite patience and care, began to inch forward.

The strain was obvious in his face, lines appearing and his jaw clenched tight. She knew what holding on to his control was costing him. But he was being unselfish and giving. This was for her and she knew it.

She feathered a hand over the rough lines of his face, the first gesture of tenderness and intimacy she’d given him. He went utterly still, staring down at her as his breaths rasped unevenly over his lips.

“Make love to me,” she whispered again. “Don’t hold back. You won’t hurt me, Wade. You’d never hurt me. Please, I need you inside me. I’m so cold. I’ve been cold for so long. I need your warmth and your strength.”

“You’ll always have it,” he vowed, lowering himself so more of his weight covered her.

He pushed forward with more determination this time and she gasped again when he stopped. Her eyes widened and she looked wildly down at him as her body fizzed in pure delight.

“Why did you stop?” she asked breathlessly. “You aren’t all the way in.”

Wade cursed and closed his eyes, dropping his head to bury it in her neck where he took several long, steadying breaths before responding. Then he lifted his head again and kissed her, taking her mouth in a wild storm of passion.