With Every Breath (Slow Burn 4)

“I’m not an idiot, Wade.”

“Then stop acting like one.”

She shoved up and away from him, glaring ferociously at him. He grinned, which only served to heighten her indignation.

“I couldn’t live with myself knowing he was free, that he would kill again. And he would, Wade. He would. The justice system let those women down and I won’t let him get away with it. I’ve got to take him out for those women. For me. And for the people I love. I don’t want to live the rest of my life always looking over my shoulder, afraid that he’ll hunt me down, and he will. I don’t want to be afraid of him going after people I love because I was too weak to do what needs to be done. It’s my only choice. The only way I can look at myself in the mirror. I can’t bring those women back, but I sure as hell can make sure he never hurts another one. So I’m going to be there when he gets out. He isn’t going to have to look for me because I’ll find him. And then I’m sending him straight to hell and me with him. If I survive taking him down, I won’t run. I won’t hide. I won’t even defend myself because I’ll be guilty as sin and if I spend the rest of my life in prison at least he will no longer pose a threat to innocent women or the people I love.”

“And you don’t think you’re rare and precious?” he asked softly. “That you don’t stand for what’s right?”

She looked away, but he nudged her chin back so she looked at him.

“You aren’t doing this, Eliza. You are not embarking on some suicide mission to atone for sins that aren’t even yours to bear.”

“You can’t stop me,” she hissed.

He arched an eyebrow. “Can’t I?”

“I won’t be responsible for any more deaths!”

Wade caressed her cheek, feathering his touch over her face and then thumbing her lips as he stared intently at her.

“You weren’t responsible.”

He gently kissed her, not a passionate, all consuming kiss. One he ached to give her and make love to her all over again. But a tender kiss meant to reassure and comfort her.

“Eliza, you can trust me,” he said with absolute sincerity. “You have to know how strong my feelings are for you. You can’t be that blind.”

Tears glittered like diamonds on her eyelashes as she stared helplessly at him.

“Trusting my instincts is exactly what got me into this mess,” she said desperately. “What got me in way over my head with Thomas. I can’t trust myself, Wade. I can’t afford to ever make that mistake again.”

His gaze softened and he kissed her lightly again, still stroking her face and then tangling his fingers in her hair, smoothing the tresses that hung in disarray. She looked hungry, like a woman who’d been thoroughly made love to and who wanted—needed—more. He wanted nothing more than to give her just that. Himself. Over and over until he’d solidly pushed everything from her mind except him, the two of them, and nothing else in the world mattered.

“Baby,” he whispered in a soft, loving voice he hadn’t thought himself capable of. Not ever or with anyone until now—her. Only her. “You were sixteen years old. Just a young, vulnerable girl who had nothing and no one. You only wanted to be loved. That isn’t a crime. Everyone wants to love and to be loved. You aren’t that person anymore. You haven’t been that person in a very long time. You’ve grown into an exceptional woman with the best instincts and strongest character of anyone—man or woman—I’ve ever known and that’s why I fucking admire you so much.”

She looked stunned by his admission. She didn’t know what shocked her more, his assessment of her character, or if it was the fact that the words had come from him, a man who until a short time ago had been nothing but an overbearing bastard and a complete asshole.

It was little wonder she would have such a hard time accepting such an abrupt about-face when before, from all appearances, they couldn’t stand to be in the same room together. Had she ever wondered why he harbored such animosity toward her?

He’d known from day one that she spelled trouble for him. He had known from the start that she was a complete game changer for him and he hadn’t liked that one bit. He’d fought it and he’d done plenty of denying, but there was no disputing the fact that she was it for him. He was drawn to her like a magnet, not wanting to be caught in her web but not having any damn choice in the matter.

Wade Sterling, ultimate lone wolf, cold and uncaring, unfeeling, completely unhinged by a petite blonde-haired, green-eyed temptress. Oh yeah, Eliza was his kryptonite. His one and only weakness.

“You think I’m an idiot,” she protested. “You think I’m careless, stupid, trying to get myself killed. You were pissed when I was abducted, pissed that I was tortured and livid when I wanted to be included in the takedown of the monsters who did that to me. Like I was too stupid to live for wanting to get vengeance on the bastards who rendered me powerless instead of sitting on the sidelines like some helpless twit while my big bad coworkers took care of business so poor, helpless Eliza could sit on her hands at home and wait for others to seek revenge that was rightly mine to seek. And now you lie here saying you admire me? Is this some kind of bullshit you’ll say in order to get me to comply with what you want so I’ll tuck myself away and play the hapless damsel in distress and expect others to do my dirty work for me?”

“Did you not hear a word I just said to you, woman?” he roared. “I care about you. I care a hell of a lot! Do you think I was pissed at you because you were abducted and fucking waterboarded and God only knows what else because you never shared exactly all you endured? Do you think I was pissed at you because you wanted to get back your own in the takedown? Jesus, you are an idiot.”

Her mouth gaped open and then shut and he put a finger over her lips before she could say anything further. He leaned in close so that their noses nearly touched.

“I was pissed because someone took you. I was pissed because those bastards put their hands on you. They tortured you. They hurt you and there wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do to stop it. I wasn’t pissed that you wanted in on the takedown. I was pissed because you were in no condition to be going anywhere except to bed and I was sick to my soul imagining you being hurt or killed because you’d just gone through hell and had no business going into a high risk op. And I was pissed as hell that you nearly fucking died because a bullet meant for you would have gone right through your pretty neck and if it had hit you there wasn’t a goddamn thing anyone could have done except watch you bleed out. And lastly I was pissed because you refused to take any downtime after your abduction and torture or after the op was completed and it was over. You were and have been running on fumes for a fuck of a long time and now I know why. I’m worried about you, Eliza. I’m sick with worry because I care a hell of a lot about you and what happens to you, and if I can prevent anything else from happening to you then by God I’m going to do just that whether you like it or not. Whether you hate me or not. Because at least you’ll be alive to hate me.”