With Every Breath (Slow Burn 4)

She continued to stare in equal parts bewilderment and feminine fascination, riveted by how freaking gorgeous he was with that million megawatt smile. Holy hell, now she could understand why he never lacked for female company. Gracie had told her, after it was established that a romantic relationship between her and Sterling was never going to happen and the two settled on being just friends, that she lost count of the women who sailed in and out of his life.

At first Eliza had misunderstood, thinking that he was such an ogre that he couldn’t keep a woman. That idea had appealed immensely to her and she’d warmed to it immediately. Until Gracie burst that bubble by telling her that he never kept a woman more than a few dates before moving on to the next one. Figures. Apparently he was a complete player out for only one thing. But, a man with his looks and money could be as picky and selective as he wanted. Women flocked to that badass, bad boy, darker edge persona and the danger that seemed to swirl in his eyes and fit him like a second skin. Eliza scoffed at that.

The man was nebulous at best. She’d done some checking into him when he’d contacted DSS about a potential job and nothing in her research led her to believe he was completely on the up and up. Dirty, she’d suspected and had told Zack as much. The problem was, she had no solid proof. Only discrepancies and her own suspicions. And her gut, which she never ignored.

But that likely appealed to the section of the female population who were shorter on brains and superficial enough not to care about anything beyond good looks, lots of money—that was likely the biggest attraction—and the aura of dark and dangerous that cloaked him at all times. Who cared if he killed puppies, kittens or people as long as he was rich, handsome and good in the sack? She nearly bared her teeth in irritation but instead returned to getting the handsome, rich asshole out of her space.

“Do tell, what do you find so amusing?” Eliza asked snidely. She’d never in a million years admit or confide to anyone how flustered she’d been over that smile. Or that for a moment she’d entertained a few naked fantasies about him.

Though disappointment was keen when the smile was replaced by the more common mocking twist of his lips, which told her he was about to start firing back the same insults and resort to the same ribbing and cut downs she routinely gave him. Oh well, it would hardly be fun if he didn’t fire back. She would have been disappointed if he acted like she’d hurt his little feelings or his masculine pride. Goading him was the only fun she had these days. Besides, when he was being a dick, it was too easy to despise him and then at least she wouldn’t become a damn girl and start thinking about licking those delectable lips.

And then she remembered that she didn’t have time for fun or for juvenile fantasies. Hadn’t that been what had got her in the mess she’d become so firmly entrenched in years ago? How could she have even thought about anything else when all her focus, her concentration and her training should be on preparation for the single most important mission of her life?

Suddenly Sterling’s eyes narrowed, and his hand was curled around her chin before she even registered it was there. He turned her to face him, his sharp gaze boring into hers, studying her, probing deeply until she felt stripped bare and utterly vulnerable before him.

“What the hell were you just thinking about?” he demanded. “And don’t make this about me, Eliza. I’ll call bullshit and you know it. You enjoy taunting me, hurling insults and doing your damnedest to make me believe you want no part of me, which we both know is untrue. Whatever it was that just crossed your mind was not a source of enjoyment. You went pale and your eyes went from fiery and spitting sparks at me to dull and shadowed and your shoulders sagged and you are nothing if not confident. Your back is always up, shoulders straight and you don’t lower your head to fucking anyone and yet you just did all of those things. What the fuck is going on with you?”

She stared at him in astonishment, not knowing which of his absurd statements to refute first. In his own way, he’d just complimented her. As much of a compliment as Sterling ever gave anyone. At least she thought he was complimenting her. He hadn’t listed her attributes with a distasteful look nor did he seem disapproving. He was just . . . matter-of-fact.

She went backward through all the other crap he’d said, and it was crap. Then her cheeks blazed with a mixture of fury and abject embarrassment when she got to the most important, most errant assumption the arrogant little prick had made.

She got into his face and jabbed her finger into his chest, causing him to take one step backward before steadying himself. He simply brushed her finger away and then folded his very muscled arms over his very muscled chest and stared down at her, his lips pressed together as if . . .

“Don’t you dare laugh!” she shouted. “And as for me not wanting any part of you? Get a clue, Sterling. A woman who wants a part of you doesn’t tell you to fuck off every time she sees you. She doesn’t constantly insult you. Nor does she avoid you because you annoy the ever-loving fuck out of her. Get it into your head. I want nothing to do with you. In fact, I don’t want you here right now. Which begs the question, why are you? Our avoiding each other is mutual. I avoid you. You avoid me. I think it’s established that neither of us can stand the sight of the other. Neither of us wants to be in the same room together. It’s an arrangement that suits me just fine. So don’t tell me that we both know it isn’t true that I want nothing to do with you!”

She jabbed her finger just above his overlapped arms so that it met the solid wall of his chest, accentuating every word with another jab.

“I.” Poke. “Don’t.” Poke. “Ever.” Jab. “Want.” Jab. “To.” Poke. “See.” Poke. “You ever, ever, ever again!” She balled her fist and punched him as she said the last.

He threw back his head and laughed. It took every bit of her discipline not to let her mouth drop open and stare shamelessly at the sight. Because Sterling actually smiling, as in a real honest-to-God smile, was a sight enough in itself, but him laughing? Holy hell but him smiling and laughing was a very beautiful thing indeed. He was beautiful.

“Keep telling yourself that, Eliza,” he said, his eyes still sparking with laughter. “If you tell yourself often enough you might even start believing your lies.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she muttered, turning on her heel to stalk past him so she could be rid of him.