Own Me

It’s too hard to admit. Too out of this world.

But Gio is right beside me, his strong, silent presence comforting, and his arm around me reassuring me that, for the moment at least, I’m safe.

My voice goes small and quiet. “Or else he’d find another way to get his money back. And then he mentioned the life insurance policy he’d taken out with my mom… A policy worth a million dollars, if anything were to happen to her…”

“Jesus,” Gio swears under his breath.

I shake my head. “I couldn’t let him do that. I couldn’t put my blame on her either. My mother would… She’d do anything for me. But now it’s my turn. I needed to save her.” I look at the ground between my shoes now, unable to meet Gio’s eye. “So I decided to sell the only thing I had left. My body.”

I fall silent. There it is. He knows my deep dark secrets. Now I just have to wait and see how long it takes before he runs screaming from me, and the whole hot steaming mess I call my life.

But he doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything else, and neither do I, for a long, quiet moment. I take that moment to listen to our breathing, feel the warmth of his body pressed against my side, the strength of his hand wrapped protectively around my shoulder. I revel in feeling him next to me, knowing I may not ever feel this again.

Finally, his lips brush my cheek softly. “I knew you were new to this industry,” he murmurs. “When I saw your ad online. There was something in your eyes… You looked too innocent to have experience at this. That was why I wanted you, when I saw your photo.” He cups my chin again in those strong fingers of his and tilts my face up to his. When I meet his eyes, he’s watching me with a fierce intensity. “I wanted you because this is my first time in the industry too, Corbella.”

My eyes widen.

He smirks slightly in response. “I have experience with other subs, of course. But always women who I met in the fet scene, or out at the club. I’d never considered buying a woman. Until I saw you…”

Without realizing, I start to lean toward him. Drawn in by the magnetic power in his gaze, and the way he’s finally opening up to me, letting me past his walls the way I let him through mine.

His hand drifts up from my chin to caress my cheek. Brush a stray piece of hair back from my forehead and tuck it behind my ear. “You were my first… and last escort, Corbella.”

At that, I let myself fall the rest of the way between us. Close the gap and sink into a deep, slow kiss. It’s one of those kisses that feels timeless, the ones you wish would never end. Unless, of course, it could progress farther… Because as I shift closer to him, practically straddling his lap now, I feel the hard press of his cock between us. He tilts his head to kiss me more deeply, his tongue claiming my mouth, as mine tangles in his.

Before we can get going, though, he pulls back. I’m so surprised I let out a faint sigh of regret, as our lips part, and he gently eases me off of his lap.

“Corbella.”

I look at him again, find that same intensity in his eyes, this time mingled with a touch of concern.

“I need to know if you’re telling me the truth,” he murmurs, and for a second, I can’t even believe he needs to ask. But there it is. Gio has an insecure side, however faint. His brows crease in a fine line. “Just… If you were only doing this with me because of how desperately you needed the money, then please be straight with me now. Because I hoped you were being real with me–it felt real, everything between us. But now, with this story… Now that I know how much money you needed, and why, I can’t help but wonder if you were faking…”

Without thinking, I cup his face in my hands and pull him into another kiss. It’s rougher than I meant it to be, as desperate as I feel now to prove to him that this was real all along. When I break the kiss, we’re both breathless, glassy-eyed. He has to see what this means to me. He has to feel it, the same way I do.

I lock eyes with him, my hands still pressed against his cheeks, his stubble rough against the palms of my hands. “You saw straight through me from the start, Giovanni,” I whisper. “You told me I was a bad liar, and you’re right. I am. You’ve always been able to tell exactly what I think, how I feel, sometimes even before I know it.” I close my eyes, rest my forehead against his. Open my eyes again to study his deep, dark brown eyes, inches from mine. “I’m falling for you,” I murmur, so faintly that I can’t be sure he heard me, except for the way his breath catches and his lips part.

I wince, pull back a little. “I know I shouldn’t. I know that this relationship is purely business. Clients and escorts only work if there’s no feelings involved–no feelings besides lust, of course. So I’ve been trying to hide it. Cure myself of it.” I drop my hands from his face and twist them around one another instead. He just watches me, his expression unreadable.

“I’m sorry that I complicated everything. I tried not to feel for you, I really did. But that was impossible, Gio…”

“Why?” he asks, finally.

I blink, confused. “Why am I sorry?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Why try to cure yourself of it? Why maintain this business partnership, if feelings are getting in the way?”

I swallow hard. Force myself to blink back tears. Does he want to get rid of me? When I speak again, it’s through a throat tight with pain. “Money,” I say. “We both know I need it… And if I have to keep doing this, then, I’d rather…” I can’t finish that sentence. I’d rather have you as my client than not in my life at all.

Gio searches my face for a long moment. Then he stands, slowly.

My heart leaps into my throat. This is it. I’ve finally crossed the line too far. Driven him away.

But he only smiles and offers me a hand. I take it, and he pulls me to my feet beside him, bracing me for a moment as I catch my balance. “I understand, Corbella.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmur.

He kisses me softly, lightly. A touch so light and fleeting that it leaves me aching for more. “It’s okay,” he replies. “I’m going to drive you home now. Tonight, you’re going to rest. And then tomorrow…”

I close my eyes, swallowing hard.

“Tomorrow we’ll become client and escort again. We’ll go back to business as usual.”

My heart skips a beat, and my eyes fly open again. He’s not ending this?

His eyes bore into mine. “But not tonight. Tonight, just for a little while longer, I want to stay like this.”

Staring into his wide, dark eyes, I can’t think of anything that I want more, either.

5

I wake up alone in my bed and grasp instinctually for the sheets beside me. When I find them cool and empty, I cringe and fold back in on myself. Of course there’s nobody there.

He’s gone home. He left last night, after dropping me off with nothing more than a slow, chaste kiss in parting. Because just when he’d started to open up to me, I had to freak him out by dumping all of my insanity on his lap. Not to mention, I admitted that I’d developed feelings for him, feelings that are way out of line for the relationship we have.

Yet still, he’s giving me a do-over. A chance to go back to the way we were. Client and escort again. He’ll keep paying me, and I get to keep seeing him, kissing him, submitting to his every whim, the way I’ve come to crave.

Not to mention, I can dig my way out of the hole I’ve fallen into with my stepfather. Eventually. If he gives me enough time to earn the money I need. If he doesn’t take things out on my mother sooner, out of anger or impatience or whatever drives men like him.

My stomach ties itself in knots, going back and forth between those two trains of thought. The horrible, impossible situation I got myself into, and the beacon of hope that Giovanni offers me. Hope that comes with a hefty side of guilt for the way I’ve treated his offer so far. I just keep complicating things for him. Making his life harder.