Not Meant To Be Broken

“Bitch,” I muttered. I expected more from you? Really? That’s what my father always said to me. I could never do anything right in his eyes and apparently the same applied to Reagan, Kevin and Brian. Fuck them. This was my life. I picked up the phone. “Hey Britt, do you want to come over? I need you.”

***

I thrust into Brittany one last time, the subsiding waves of my orgasm surging through me. Brittany lifted her head from the pillow where she’d buried her face to stifle her moans. She was stretched out on the bed, her butt propped up. She loved that position and I didn’t mind watching her hot ass during sex. I pulled out of her and disposed of the condom. Then I stood and stared down at her sweat-slick skin. She rolled onto her back, arms raised over her head and a satisfied smirk on her face. Guilt gripped my chest. While I’d fucked Britt, images of Amber had kept popping into my head. She’d wormed her way into my brain and I couldn’t get her out. Britt ran her toes up my thighs until she reached my balls. She began massaging them with her foot and a jolt of lust made my softening cock jerk. What was I doing? Sex with Britt was hot, mind-blowing, uncomplicated, and yet deep down I wanted more. I wanted Amber.

I stepped back and Britt’s foot dropped from my balls. She sat up, frowning. “What? Don’t tell me you can’t go another round.”

I could definitely go another round and my already hardening cock wanted to, but I had to stop this madness. Reagan was right. I expected to become like my father. I wasn’t even trying to become a better man. I ran a hand through my hair. I was an asshole. How could I explain my reasoning to Britt without a major scene? Soft steps padded past my door. Amber. I cringed. Had she noticed anything? Fuck. I’d told Britt we needed to be quiet because of Brian, but she had let a few moans slip out.

Her eyes narrowed. “Is that her?”

“What?”

“Someone walked past your door just now and you got a strange look on your face. That was Brian’s sister, right?”

I forced a shrug. “So what?”

“So what?” Britt repeated, rising from the bed. “You almost never invite me over for sex. Did you want to make her jealous?”

I laughed. “No, of course not.”

“Then why?”

That was a good question. Maybe I was trying to push Amber away, but I didn’t want to do that anymore. I wanted to give this thing with Amber a chance.

“Oh my God, you have a crush on that girl.” She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her body and walked toward my door. “I’ll clean up and then I’m gone.” I was surprised that Britt didn’t try to fight. I wished she wouldn’t take a shower here, but I could hardly tell her to get dressed reeking of sex. She stepped out of my room but she didn’t head for the bathroom. She was on her way toward the living room. Oh shit.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Amber

I curled up my legs beside me on the sofa and picked up the newest Mercy Thompson book. Pumpkin was stretched out beside me, his tail twitching occasionally in sleep. Steps rang out and a blonde woman hurried into the living room. She was naked except for the blanket wrapped around her body. I lowered the book, eyes wide.

Her gaze zeroed in on me. “So you’re Amber?”

Was she Brian’s girlfriend Lauren? Why was she standing in the middle of the apartment half-naked? “Uh, yes?” I said uncertainly. “Are you Lauren?”

The girl moved closer. She was tall and her skin was sweaty. “No, I’m Brittany.” She scanned me from head to toe, and I couldn’t help but feel small under her scrutiny. What did she want?

“Britt!” Zach stumbled into the living room, fumbling with the zipper of his jeans, his upper body naked. He froze when he spotted me sitting on the sofa. My stomach tightened. The book slipped from my fingers and tumbled onto the sofa. Pumpkin leaped away with a startled hiss, then dashed off. Nobody said anything. My eyes were glued to Zach’s face. His hair was disheveled and slightly sweaty, as was his upper body. I could feel Brittany’s eyes boring into me like knives. Now I understood why she wasn’t wearing clothes. She and Zach had had sex in his room. Hurt welled up in me. I couldn’t help but feel betrayed, which was ridiculous since Zach and I weren’t together, but after the ice-rink I’d thought something had changed between us. I shouldn’t have believed Reagan. Of course, Zach didn’t have feelings for me. How could he when he had someone like Brittany? I could never compete with her body, her experience, her confidence. I snatched up my book and jumped up from the sofa. Not looking at Zach or Britt, I walked around the loveseat and headed for my room. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t even know what I was apologizing for. I had every right to be in the living room. “I’ll give you some privacy.” Maybe Brittany wanted to continue their adventures in the living room. I wouldn’t stay to watch. Sickness rose in me like a flash flood. I was the stupidest person alive for thinking there could ever be something between Zach and me.

Words from long ago, words my attackers had whispered into my ears when they were done with me crept into my mind. Nobody’s ever going to want you now, you dirty little slut. You should be glad that we kill you. And at that point I’d actually been glad for the mercy of death. I didn’t want to die anymore but the fear that those men could have been right made me want to hide in a dark corner and never come out. Nobody’s ever going to want you now.

“Amber wait,” Zach said, reaching for me as I passed him. I jerked back and collided with the wall. Pain shot through my arm from the impact.

“What’s the matter with her?” Brittany asked.

Heat flooded my cheeks. I couldn’t bear the thought of Zach touching me after he’d had sex with another woman. For several seconds, neither Zach nor I moved. He dropped his arm, hands clenching to fists. My eyes followed his tendons up to his biceps, his wide shoulders, sculpted pecs and abs, down to the fine trail of dark hair disappearing under the waistband of his jeans. Brittany had touched every inch of the skin my eyes had trailed over. That thought sent another wave of embarrassment mixed with hurt through me.

“Can you give us a moment?” Zach asked. With a start, I realized he wasn’t talking to me.

Brittany huffed. “Really?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I should really go.” I almost tripped over my feet in my haste to get into my room.

Zach hurried after me. “Amber, please give me a chance to explain.”

What was there to explain? It wasn’t any of my business if he had a girlfriend.

“Explain? The only person you owe an explanation to is me!” Brittany hissed. She was also coming after us. “Why don’t you start with why you give me a booty call when you’re obviously caught up in some kind of messed up puppy love with that girl?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Or is that some kind of sick kinky thing between the two of you? Do you like to listen to Zach fucking other women?”

I stared. “Excuse me?” I asked, my voice rising. She had no right to talk to me like that. I had done nothing wrong here.

“Oh, don’t give me that innocent look.”

“Brittany, shut up,” Zach snarled.

Brian’s door opened and he poked his disheveled head out. His eyes took in the scene, his face twisting into a mask of fury. “What the hell is going on here?” He stepped out in his pajamas. At least, one person wasn’t half-naked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I was on my way to my room.” I gestured at my door. Brian didn’t even look at me. He glared at Zach with so much an

ger, it actually worried me.

Brittany threw her hands up. “You know what? I’m done here.” She whirled around and disappeared in Zach’s room. She threw the door shut.

“We need to talk,” Brian ordered, seizing Zach’s arm, who shook it off like a bothersome fly. “I need to talk to Amber first.”

“The fuck you will!” Brian slammed his palms against Zach’s chest. Apparently, Zach hadn’t expected the assault and crashed with his back against the wall. In a blink, he was on Brian and shoved him hard. Brian hurtled against his door with so much force that it broke out of the hinges and dropped to the ground. Brian caught his balance against the doorframe. He looked ready to pounce on Zach again. I couldn’t let that happen. They’d been friends for years. Every muscle in Zach’s body was taught in anticipation of a fight. If the trophies in his room were any indication, he’d wipe the floor with my brother.

I stepped between them as they were about to start their fight and they both recoiled in surprise. My arms were stretched out between them, palms resting against their chests. For a moment I was so stunned by my courage, I gaped at my hands. I was wedged between two guys who were furious and towered over me in a narrow corridor, and I was actually touching them without dissolving into a puddle of misery. Adrenaline was pounding in my veins. I cleared my throat and slowly lowered my arms. My fingertips tingled where I’d touched Zach’s chest.

“Stop it,” I said firmly, then added. “Please.”

Zach slumped against the wall. “Sorry for your door.” He nodded toward the ground. Brian turned and picked it up from the floor. “That’s the least of my worries.”

“Brian,” I said in warning.

Brian tried to get the door back on its hinges but failed. “Let me help,” Zach said, moving toward my brother.

“I don’t want your fucking help.”

Zach ignored him and together they managed to put up the door, but it didn’t move properly. “It’s broken,” Brian said in frustration, then he turned his attention to me. As if the word broken had reminded him that I was still there. “Are you okay?”