Not Meant To Be Broken

I took another hesitant step closer and Zach’s eyes opened, his gaze meeting mine. “Shit, Amber!” He jerked upright, hitting his head against the shower and dropped his erection. I drew my eyes back up to his face. Shock was plain on Zach’s face. He didn’t try to cover himself up. “What are you doing here?”

My cheeks were flushed and I fumbled for an answer. “I was curious.”

Zach relaxed slightly and something shifted on his face. “Curious?”

“I wanted to watch you.”

Zach twitched in response. He groaned, then shook his head. “I think I hit my head too hard, because I could swear you just said you want to watch me jerking off.”

I walked closer until I was directly in front of the glass stall. Nerves twisted my stomach so tightly, I was worried I’d throw up. Calm down, Amber. This was your idea. Now go through with it. It was stupid that a completely naked Zach made me anxious. Zach was watching me intently. “Amber? I need you to be very clear about what you want,” his voice was a hoarse plea. What did I want? My eyes traveled the length of his body. I wanted to run my hands over his skin. “Can I watch you touch yourself?”

Zach stared, then he snapped out of it. He wrapped his palm around his length. “You mean like that?”

I nodded, then opened the stall. Water sprayed my face. I didn’t care. I stepped inside with my pajama pants and top still on. I needed that barrier, even though it wasn’t really a protection from anything. “Amber?” Zach asked. He leaned back against the tiled wall. The water was soaking my clothes, plastering the fabric against my skin. The pajama pants and the top were both white, so they probably didn’t leave much to the imagination. I should take them off. It would be so easy, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Cold air flooded the stall and I closed the door. Zach stood across from me, only an arm-length away, his hand curled around his length. “Do you want me to move?” He slid his hand up and down, then stopped.

I nodded, biting my lip. He began stroking himself again, eyes burning into me with a hunger that made heat gather in the pit of my stomach. I pressed my legs together and tried to tense the muscles of my core to alleviate some of the tension. It was almost painful. I needed some relief, but I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t touch myself, not like this. Why not? In bed with Zach’s arm around me, it hadn’t felt strange. And he was touching himself too. Zach was panting, his strokes becoming faster, his knuckles turning white from the iron grip on his length. I wondered how it would be if I was the one doing that to him. I could feel myself getting wet between my legs. He let out a long groan, hand curling around the tip of his length as he came. I sucked in a deep breath, waiting for a flicker of fear but there was none. Only fascination and want. I wanted to touch Zach. I wanted him to touch me. He would make me feel good. I knew it. Zach stared at me, still clutching himself as the water washed away the signs of his orgasm. He looked as if he was expecting me to freak out any moment. It was almost comical. I burst out laughing. It felt as if I’d taken down another of my walls and it felt incredible. Relief washed over Zach’s face and he chuckled. “That was…”

“Weird?”

He shook his head. “Hot. At least for me.”

Suddenly, I felt daring. Maybe it was because Zach’s penis was softening and he wasn’t posing an immediate threat, which was a stupid thing to think but my brain was messed up so its logic wasn’t exactly reasonable. “I want to get out of my clothes,” I whispered.

Zach stopped washing himself. “Okay?”

I couldn’t look him in the eyes when I said, “No touching.” God, could I sound any more pathetic? Why was Zach putting up with me?

“No touching,” Zach said quietly. He put his hands behind his back, trapping them between the wall and his butt.

I gripped the hem of my top, then paused.

“Amber, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But I swear to you I won’t ever touch you if you don’t ask me to.”

“I know,” I said. “But what if you don’t like what you see?”

“Your clothes aren’t hiding all that much and I saw almost all of you yesterday. And believe me, you are fucking beautiful.”

My fingers on the hem tightened and I quickly pulled it over my head, my arms dropping to my side. The top landed in a wet heap on the ground and was quickly joined by my pajama pants as I slide them down my legs. Then I hooked my fingers under my panties and pulled them down as well. I had to force myself to stand still and not cover myself. Zach’s eyes roamed my body, then they settled on my face. I tried not to notice that he was getting hard again. He was turned on by me, by my body. The knowledge excited and frightened me at the same time. The warm water rained down on us as our eyes locked. I was in control, I reminded myself again. I took a step closer to Zach who still leaned motionless against the wall. His eyes followed my movements as I reached out and lay my palms flat against his naked chest. He was almost completely hard again and if I moved closer he’d brush against my stomach. For a moment I was overwhelmed by the situation, by the realization that I was naked in a shower with a man. Not any man; this was Zach. I trusted him more than I thought I could ever trust a man again. I inched my hands lower, coming to rest on his lower abdomen. For a moment, I considered wrapping my hand around his length but then I lost courage. The pressure between my legs hadn’t lessened and I shifted again. Realization crossed Zach’s face. “What do you want, honey?”

It was the first time he’d used that term and it made me feel warm in an entirely different way. “I don’t know,” I admitted. I almost wished Zach would take lead and touch me. He didn’t.

“Did it turn you on to watch me come?”

“Yes.” The word was a breathless whisper.

Zach brought his face closer without moving his body. He gently kissed my lips. “Do you want to come too?” he asked in a husky voice and my face exploded with embarrassment. Zach could be direct about these matters without ever blushing. I guessed it came with experience. I gave the tiniest nod.

Zach shook his head. “That’s not enough,” he said quietly. “I need you to tell me or I won’t move.”

I searched his eyes but his gaze was relentless. He wouldn’t touch me without my spoken agreement. “Yes, I want to come,” I finally got out. “I want you to touch me this time.”

Zach’s chest heaved. “Let’s go back to my room, okay?”

“Okay.” Zach turned off the shower and stepped out, handing me a towel before he took one for himself and began drying himself. I had to bite back a smile when I watched him rub his length. How would he hide it on our way to his room? He wrapped a towel around his hips but that didn’t really hide anything. When I’d covered myself with my towel, I followed Zach back to our room.

I felt nervous but the tension between my legs spoke louder than my worry. I stood uncertainly in the room and Zach put his hand on my shoulders. “Tell me if you changed your mind.”