Not Meant To Be Broken

Amber crunched her brows together as if she doubted that. And maybe she was right. Some people just weren’t meant to be part of this kind of backstabbing, two-faced group.

When we returned to the apartment, Amber led me into my room at once and began undressing me almost desperately. I was startled by her initiative. She slipped my shirt over my head, her lips hot against my chest as she kissed me. Her fingers fumbled with my belt, then the buttons of my business pants. Finally she pushed them down. I was already rock hard. Her expression was so intense, so focused. I sank down on the bed and Amber removed my last pieces of clothing, freeing my cock.

“Amber, are you okay?” She didn’t reply. She knelt beside me on the bed, bent her head over me and closed her mouth around my cock. I closed my eyes and put a hand on her head, stroking her hair as she worked her mouth up and down, licking and sucking. It was only the second time that she’d given me a blowjob, and I’d missed it. I loved the feel of her warm, wet mouth around my cock. I shifted my hips up and down. “Yeah, that feels so good, Amber. Yes, honey.”

Sometimes her teeth graced me by accident but I was so horny by Amber’s boldness that I didn’t even mind. I could feel myself getting closer and closer, and when Amber cupped my balls and began massaging them, I almost came at once. “Amber, I’m going to come,” I warned. I tried to move her away, because I didn’t want to come in her mouth, but she didn’t budge. Instead she sucked even harder and I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I threw my head back and exploded in her mouth. I groaned, as my cock twitched and my balls tensed. Amber kept sucking and it felt so fucking good. I opened my eyes and watched her sucking my softening cock slower and slower. That was a fucking fantastic sight. I ran my hand gently over her head and kept my eyes on her as she kept her lips on me until the aftershocks of my orgasm were over. She sat back on her hunches and wiped her mouth. I sat up and helped her out of her dress and bra, suckled and licked and kissed her breasts as I peeled off her panties. Then I slowly moved down her body and started licking her. She was already wet but I took my time nibbling and teasing her clit. I pushed one finger into her and began pumping slowly as my mouth worked her clit. I wasn’t sure what had gotten into Amber to make her so horny, and I didn’t care. Seeing her like that was fucking hot.

Amber

This was the last time. The thought kept whirring in my head as Zach licked me. I needed him. Just one more time. I pushed his head back. Zach looked surprised. I couldn’t say anything. Instead I made him sit back against the headboard and straddled him. Zach released a low breath as I curled my fingers around him and slowly guided him into me. He wrapped his arms around my back, our chests pressed against each other as I started to move. We kissed, slowly, unhurriedly. I wanted to taste him one more time, wanted to feel him one more time. Zach suckled my throat as he guided my hips in a slow rhythm. I could feel pressure building in my core. I moved faster and wrapped my arms tightly around Zach’s neck, burying my face in his hair. Tears started to trickle down my cheeks, as I relished in the feel of our skin sliding against each other. I bit back a sob. Zach snuck a hand between us and rubbed my clit, driving me higher and higher. My orgasm gripped me and I cried out as pleasure shot through my body, moved my hips faster and faster until Zach’s hand grabbed my hips and he groaned when his own orgasm overwhelmed him. I clung to him as the tingling ebbed away and he softened in me. I didn’t move, couldn’t move. I wiped the tears off my face, so Zach wouldn’t see and stared at the wooden headboard. This was it.

Zach lay down, taking me with him. I rested my cheek against his chest, breathing in his scent, listening to his quick heartbeat, running my fingertips up his muscled arms. He stroked my back, his touch soft and gentle as he always was with me. I wanted this moment to last forever. One more night, I told myself, and tomorrow I’d break it off before he could break my heart, or worse: stayed with me for the wrong reasons until he learned to regret it, or maybe even resent me. I’d never feel comfortable around the society women who smiled at you while hating everything about you and the business men with their overconfident smiles. That wasn’t my world. But it would be Zach’s soon. It was already Brittany’s. My heart tightened. Reagan had told me to take control, to always be in control. I wouldn’t lose control ever again. Control was what had helped me leave my past behind. I wouldn’t let anyone be the master over my life again.

I breathed in his scent again, letting it engulf me entirely, wrap me into a cocoon of blissful safety. He was the only one who made me feel like that. Only he, but whatever we had, it would – it could never be more than an interlude. Zach hadn’t disagreed with his father and that was as much a confirmation as there could ever be one. Maybe Zach was really too kind to admit it, maybe he was worried he’d lose Brian if he left me, maybe he was worried I’d shatter if he was the one to end things between us, so I had to make it easy for him. I loved Zach, loved him more than I thought possible after what had happened, but he’d never said it back. I’d thought it was maybe a guy thing, but now I realized it was a Zach thing. He couldn’t say it because he didn’t love me. When we’d started dating he’d always said he would try to be a good boyfriend but he couldn’t promise me anything. Trying hadn’t been enough, I realized that now.

One more night. I closed my eyes, buried my face in Zach’s chest. I was suddenly very calm. One more night.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Zach

When I woke, Amber wasn’t snuggled up to me. I sat up and rubbed my face. She’d probably gone to the bathroom, but when I touched the side where she usually lay it was completely cold as if she’d left a while ago. I got out of bed, put boxer shorts on and went in search of her. I knocked at her door but got no response. Eventually I found her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and staring intently at a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. She looked like she hadn’t slept at all last night. I walked up to her for a kiss but she shook her head and took a few steps back. Confused, I stopped.

“We need to talk,” she said quietly.

Something was wrong, very fucking wrong. “What’s going on?”

“This isn’t going to work. I want to break up.”

Shock shot through me as I stared at her. She was looking right back at me, completely serious. Her eyes were guarded. I’d never seen that look on her face.

“What do you mean?”

“What I said. I think we should break up. When we started dating we always knew it could turn out that it wasn’t working out, and I realized it isn’t going to work out.” She said it like she’d rehearsed those lines all night. When had she decided to break up with me?

“It’s because of yesterday, because of my mother, right?”

She shook her head but I could tell from her expression I’d hit a nerve. She thought she’d end up like my mother if she stayed with me. She’d finally realized what my father had known all along: that I was just like my old man, that I was a destructive force bound to fuck up her life. My father had said the best thing I could do for Amber was letting her go so she could find someone else, someone nicer, someone better.

I nodded once. “Okay. If that’s what you want. It’s probably for the best.”

She looked surprised for a moment, then she put down the coffee and walked past me. “Yes, it is.” And then she slipped out of the kitchen and a moment later I heard the front door bang shut.

What the fuck had just happened? I sank down on the chair and didn’t move for a long time. I’d never felt so fucking empty. I buried my face in my palms. Why was I feeling so bad? I was doing the right thing. Amber needed someone, a decent guy who loved her, then why was the mere idea of her being with another man feel like a stab in the heart?

“What’s up with you?” Brian asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Amber and I broke up.”

There was silence. “I knew it. I fucking knew it! I warned you not to get involved with her. I knew you’d break her heart. Did you cheat on her? Did get tired of bei

ng with only one girl? What the hell is wrong with you, Zach?”

Everything, apparently. I looked up. “She broke up with me, and I didn’t cheat on her.”

“Then what did you do?”

“Does it have to be me who did something?”

He gave me a look.

“She think it’s not working out. She’s probably right.”

Brian shook his head with a frown. “Great, now I have to pick up the pieces. Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t tell me. She left.”

“You’re an asshole, Zach.” With that, Brian left the kitchen.

“Don’t I know it?” I muttered.