Shadow Warrior (Shadow Riders 4)

Grace took a drink of her coffee and picked up the piece of toast. “I don’t like that. You being terrified of losing me because of who and what you are. You’re a good man, Vittorio. No matter what, you’re a good man.”

“Am I? I’m a man who wants my woman to let me be dominant in our home.” He deliberately used the adjective, hoping she would start making that connection.

Most people would assume his brother Ricco, because he practiced the art of shibari, would be a dominant in his home with his woman. He wasn’t. Neither was Stefano, who was a natural commander. As head of the Ferraro family, he was responsible for their lives. Vittorio had been born dominant. He’d always known that was his cross to bear. His needs would make it doubly difficult to find a woman who could have shadow-riding children and would live with a man like him.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Vittorio. Nothing is wrong between two consenting adults.”

He put down his fork. “Look at me.” He poured authority into his voice and she looked up immediately. “Don’t do that. Don’t spout platitudes. I want you to understand exactly what you would be getting into if you stayed with me. It isn’t like you read in stories or they portray in movies. This isn’t about whips per se. But it is about bondage. This is about who I am and how we would live together in this house. This is about the way I have to live. I don’t just want to be in control, Grace. I need to be. I need to take care of my woman and know that she trusts me to have her best interests at heart. I need to make the decisions, to decide what’s best for us both. And I will take absolute control in the bedroom. I would expect you to trust me to take care of you there as well. For me to be happy in a relationship, Grace, you have to be happy. That’s the way it works.”

His heart accelerated, and he took a breath to find his center, to stay in complete control of his emotions. He didn’t want to lose her, but he didn’t want her to stay with him and then find she detested their lifestyle. He’d laid it all out on the line for her. What he was. What he needed. What he would expect from her.

It would be better to give her up and let another rider find happiness. The thought, the moment it came, filled him with a kind of dark aggression. He saw it as a bloodred swirling cloud in his mind that filtered through his system. He couldn’t have that, not with his gifts. He knew better. He knew he had to have harmony in his home at all times. He had to have a sanctuary where, no matter the horrors he saw, the things he had to do in order to bring justice to those who would harm others, he could find his peace.

“Would it be so bad to continue your life the way it’s been?”

She took another sip of coffee, clearly stalling for time while she thought things over. That was very much like her. At least she hadn’t run screaming from the room or demanded he call her a cab.

“If you really want honesty, Vittorio, I don’t have a clue. The idea of bondage is both a little terrifying and intriguing.”

“We would work up to the things I would like to do to you in the bedroom, building your trust in me. Not just jump right into it, but what do your instincts tell you, gattina?”

“I don’t have a lot of experience, so I have no idea if I’d really like it, but the thought . . .” She trailed off.

He didn’t need her to say more. He read her body. The heightened breathing. Her nipples pushing against her thin blouse. Her restless movements in her chair.

“This time, I won’t ask you to continue because this is such a difficult conversation, but communication and honesty with yourself as well as with me will always be important. Your body likes the idea, am I correct?”

She nodded.

He waited.

Grace pressed her lips together. “Yes, Vittorio.”

He smiled at her and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “Thank you, Grace. I know talking about these things right now isn’t always easy, but it will become automatic. What about me making the decisions? Would it be so bad for me to continue the way we’ve been?”

“Am I drawn to you? Absolutely yes. Do I like the way you take care of me? I’ve never had care before and it feels amazing to have someone treat me like I’m special. When I’m with you, I feel as if you’re totally focused on me. On the other hand, you’ve had to take care of me. I haven’t been strong enough to care for myself. I want to continue to work. That’s important to me . . .”