Loved by the Plus Sign

“Take it the night didn’t go the way you thought it would?” I turn shocked to hear Mark’s voice, but also rigid with someone coming up behind me. Normally, I am more alert than this.

“It went fine. What about you and Lily?”

“We are moving along nicely. Just waiting for her to turn 18 and I am marrying her on that day.” You can see the determination in his eyes.

“I am happy for you friend.”

“Thanks. Anything on the scumbag?” He asks me about Lily’s father. We still cannot find him.

“Nothing. He fucking disappeared like a phantom. But don't worry, my men are good. He won’t get nowhere for long.”

“He better not.” We shoot the shit a little more and then both head home. Walking into my house doesn’t feel the same now. I need to get her here. One way or another.3VanessaWhat in the hell? How did I let him jinx me into going with him tomorrow? “Weak.” I castigate myself as I walk into the kitchen to put the pizza box up. I was hungry before all of this but now my stomach couldn’t hold anything down if I tried. I can’t help but put my hands on the counter. I really don’t need this right now. As much as what Mark did to me hurt, I know deep down inside, that somehow, Pedro walking out on me and betraying me, would kill me. It took me a lot to come to terms with the fact that I would never have the life I always wanted. A husband that loved me, the way I am. Kids running around the house. A home filled with love, laughter and passion. I was finally ok with this. But now, in the presence of Pedro, I find myself wanting those things all over again and that needs to stop. Taking a deep breath, I reach for my phone, needing to call him and cancel this date when I hear the front door open. Walking back into the front room, I spot Mark, kissing Lily on her forehead as he whispers in her ear before closing my door and leaving. She stands there, looking out the door, a look of longing on her face and I feel my motherly instincts kick in. “How was your night?” I ask her walking all the way into the room. She jumps a bit and turns around. “Crap. I am so sorry Lily. I didn’t mean to scare you sweetheart.

“It’s ok.” She says holding her chest. Seeing her so startled, makes my heart break for this girl. Knowing even a little of what she went through is too much. “It was nice. He took me to his house...and made me dinner and then we watched a movie and just hung out.” she says that last part in a little whisper. I can’t help but smile for her.

“Was he a gentleman?” I put on my fake mother's voice. I know deep down he wouldn’t hurt her.

“He was. Was Pedro?” My eyes widen as I look at her. Not sure how she even knew he was here. “He was leaving as we were pulling up.” She giggles and looks at me clearly waiting for an answer.

“Uh... I guess you could call him that.” I mean, it's sort of true.

“He said you are going out with him tomorrow night. Is that true?”

“He wouldn’t really take no for an answer. But I am going to text him and tell him I can't go.”

“Why?” Her question is so honest and pure, it even makes me think for a second.

“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t see what could come of it. I mean a man like him could have any woman he wants. What would he want with me?” I ask this question honestly and out loud for the first time.

“Miss…”

“Uh uh. You know to call me Vanessa, Lily.”

“Sorry. It’s a habit. Do you see how the male teachers look at you at school?” I know the confusion shows on my face because I feel my eyebrows scrunching up.

“I am sure you are seeing things. None of them are looking at me. Trust me.” I say shaking my head heading into the kitchen for something to drink.

“Vanessa trust me when I tell you, if you really pay attention, you will see it. You are beautiful. Why don’t you see it?” I know why, but I can’t find it in myself to say anything, so I grab some ice cream, two bowls and spoons and motion for her to sit beside me.

“Have you really thought about what you want to do after graduation? I mean I know Mark wants you to live with him, but you know you don’t have to. Right? You could go to college, you could do anything, Lily. What do you want to do?” I look at her, making sure she knows I am serious. I want her to decide what is best for her. Not anyone else.