More Than Me

So, you see, it's about more than me. I have my mom to think about, as well. How can I possibly find happiness, with Hector, the one good piece of my life, when I would have to bring darkness into it? Not to mention, as my mother, there is a possibility that this will happen to me. I don’t want my father's life to be his as well. Those women were right. He deserves better than me. I just don’t know how to let go.HectorBzzz. “Yes, Carmen.” I answer as my secretary buzzes my office.

“There is a Mister Cavanaugh here to see you.”

“Send him in.” I answer back trying to hide my exasperation with my unexpected visitor. I hired this supposedly, ‘best P.I.’ in the state, weeks ago and so far, he is proving to be more than a disappointment. Every phone call is about how close he is to finding something on Crystal, anything that can explain why she is standing back from me unless I am inside of her, and I am tired of waiting. My office door opens, and I stand, crossing my arms so he knows I am not messing around with him.

“Mr. Cortero.” he says walking in a bit sheepishly knowing he is hot water.

“Have you found anything!” I begin pacing, trying to calm myself.

“Sir. As a matter of fact, I have. It took some digging because she is using her middle name as her last name. Turns out she is from….”

“I know where she is from. I need to know what she is hiding.” I shout louder than intended and my secretary comes into the room.

“Is everything alright, sir? Should I have him removed?” Running my hands through my hair I turn toward her.

“Everything is fine, Carmen. Esta Bien.” She looks at Cavanaugh and back at me before nodding and closing the door. I turn toward the window, not sure I can stop from choking the shit out of him, if I look at him right away. “What did you find that I didn’t know, Barry.”

“Did you know about her mother?” I turn, his words making me pause. As a matter of fact, she has never mentioned a mother to me. Hell, as far as I knew she was alone in the world besides my niece. I turn toward him, giving him my full attention.

“I’m listening.” he smiles knowing he has redeemed himself.

“Seems Miss Rondis has spent the last year taking care of her mother. Her father died over a year ago, leaving her mother in her care. With no life insurance and no savings, Crystal has been struggling to keep the home she grew up in paid so her mom has somewhere to stay.” My mind is trying to take this all in as a few questions pop-up.

“Why is this significant? Why isn’t her mother working and taking care of herself?” I can feel my protective instinct coming alive as I think of my woman working like her ass off to support a grown woman.

“After a little more digging, I have learned that her mother suffers from Cyclothymic Disorder which is a form of Bipolar. It is when you have had at least two years of episodes of hypomania and depressive symptoms. Asking around the town, the people that knew the family say that she would often become violent and aggressive, sometimes with her daughter, but mostly with her husband. They say her father devoted his life to his wife, often forgetting about his daughter in the process.” Jesus. No wonder my Corazon is reluctant to start a life with me. She must be terrified knowing that she too has this gene. Perhaps she feels a bit of shame as well, though it is unnecessary.

“Is there anything else?” I ask, my mind whirring with options and ways to get around her fear. Now that I know what the problem is, nothing is going to keep me from my end game.

“Yes. It seems that she has been trying to get the approval from the state to enter her mom into a therapeutic hospital, specializing in this sort of mental illness. She hasn’t had any luck because the funding is limited, and she can’t afford it.” We will see about that.

“Excellent work, Cavanaugh. My accountant will send you a bonus.” I lean over my desk and buzz Carmen as he collects his copies and puts together my folder. She walks in right as he is standing.

“Oh my.” I hear her say as her hand covers her mouth.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, sunshine.” he says to her as he heads to the door. Standing off to the side I observe, finding it a bit humorous that as her boss, she still hasn’t acknowledged that I called her in here.

“It’s ok, Mister…”

“Oh no sunshine, you may call me Barry baby...or…” he leans and whispers in her ear something that makes her cheeks turn redder than the dress she is wearing. He stops and stares at her before exiting my office. I clear my throat which shakes her out of wherever she was.