The Christmas Blanket

“I know it’s not much,” he said, shaking his head. “And maybe I shouldn’t have spent the money I did on this blanket. I’m sure we could have used it for something else. We need milk and bread. We’re almost out of coffee. Hell, most importantly, we need another space heater while we wait for old man Lonny to fix our heat.” He pulled back, tilting my chin until our eyes met. “But I wanted you to have this blanket. I wanted you to have a gift to open on Christmas, because you should, and because you deserve it.” He swallowed. “You deserve so much more.”

I framed his face, shaking my head, but before I could speak, he continued.

“I know this isn’t what either of us pictured when we thought of our first Christmas together. God knows I wish I could give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of, Eliza. I wish I could give you the house and the yard and the big tree and the kitchen of your dreams. But, take this blanket as a promise. This is my promise that I will work hard, all my life, to give you everything I can. I will do everything in my power to get you that house, to shower you in gifts, to make all your dreams come true.” He leaned in to press a kiss to my lips, long and slow. “And I will never stop fighting for us.”

Tears flooded my eyes again, but this time from a completely different emotion. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips to mine, kissing him over and over, again and again.

“You silly boy,” I said through a mixture of laughter and tears. “You are the only gift I have ever wanted or needed. You are the best gift I have ever been given.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry that I lost sight of that.”

“One day, you’ll have it all,” he promised me.

But when I patted the spot next to us on the couch and Moose hopped up to sit on the other side of me, I wrapped that blanket around me and River a little tighter, leaning into his warm arms and feeling his lips press against my hair. And I knew one thing to be true.

“I already do.”Moose licking my face brought me back to the present, and as if he had also been in that memory with me, he nuzzled into the blanket, letting out little playful snorts as he rolled around in it.

I laughed, patting his belly, my eyes tracing over the little scenes on each square just like they had all those years ago.

“I can’t believe you still have this,” I said, glancing up at River. His eyes were on the blanket, too, though he wore those bent brows just as fiercely as before.

He said nothing.

“I still remember when you gave it to me,” I said with a smile, running my hands over the fabric. “God, I don’t think I would have survived that cold Christmas without it.” I chuckled. “And we used it every year after that. Do you remember? It was our tree skirt one year, if I remember right.” I shook my head. “I used to love pulling it out every year, having it on the couch for us to cuddle under.” My heart squeezed. “I think it’s my favorite gift I’ve ever received.”

My eyes found River’s then, and he was watching me with a sort of glaze over those green irises. His Adam’s apple bobbed hard in his throat.

Then, abruptly, he stood.

“I’m going to bed.”

I blinked, mouth hinging open as I scrambled to my feet, too. “Wait,” I started, but when he turned to look at me, I found I didn’t know what else to say. I couldn’t claim that it was early, since it was well after ten now, and if I knew anything about River, it was that he got up early. And I couldn’t ask him to stay up and help me decorate, knowing that was the last thing he wanted to do.

But I wanted him to wait.

I just couldn’t figure out why.

“You can have the bed,” he said when I didn’t speak. “I’ll take the couch.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa, Eliza.”

I swallowed, nodding. “Okay. Thank you.” Then, I chewed my lip, looking behind me at the open boxes, the Christmas Blanket spilling half out of the bigger one. “Would it keep you up if I stayed up a little while longer?” I asked, facing River again. “I really would like to decorate, if that’s okay.”

River’s eyes flicked behind me, his jaw tense again. “You know I can sleep through a hurricane.”

“Or in this case, a blizzard?” I joked.

He didn’t laugh.

“Come on, Moose,” he said, patting his thigh. Then, his eyes met mine. “It’s too cold to take him out tonight, and there’s no telling if I’d even be able to get the door open with the snow right now. I’m going to lay some newspaper out in the bathroom for him. Just let me know if he does a number two and you see it before I do.”