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The Boy Who Has No Belief (Soulless 7)

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Jerome listened to what I said, and after a while, he nodded. “What if we spend more time working on the tires, and if we can’t find a solution, we go with the boosters?”

“I agree.”

“Alright.” Jerome walked back to his station to get back to work with Pierre.

My phone vibrated on the desk, a message from Ryan popping up. Hey, I thought it would be fun to get the groomsmen together for a night out. Just some drinks at a bar. Not really a bachelor party, just a hangout. Friday night. You in?

The time I’d been dreading had arrived, and there was nothing I could do to avoid it. I had to be a man and suck it up. I had to be there for Ryan, not just because I was his best man, but because it was an important time in his life. I didn’t want to miss it, and I definitely didn’t want to miss it because of that motherfucker Kevin. You know I’ll be there.

Great. Just a casual thing. No strippers or anything.

I respected Ryan’s commitment to Camille. I’d been out with him many times and offers were always on the table, but he never faltered. I was his best friend and he knew I would take his secrets to the grave, but he never created any secrets for me to keep. He was loyal, committed, and honest, and that was another reason why I loved him. I knew how it felt to be cheated on—it fucking sucked. That’s fine with me.

That’s right. You’re pussy-whipped like me now. ;)

Yep. I didn’t care if the guys gave me shit about it. They’d stopped asking me to come out after I’d said no enough times. It would be fine to go out and watch a game or something, but they were only interested in picking up pussy, and that wasn’t my thing anymore. I couldn’t imagine my life without Emerson at this point, but even if I lost her, I wasn’t sure if I could go back to that. Being in a deep and committed relationship felt so much better than all the empty one-night stands. Sex was better. My happiness was better. It was just better all around.

Ryan texted again. So, just one last time… Kevin will be there. You’re sure you’re okay with this?

I actually rolled my eyes when I read his message. Ryan, don’t worry about me or Kevin or anyone else. All you should be worried about is having a good time. We’re both grown-ass men. We’re fine.Emerson sat across from me at the diner, enjoying another plate of syrup-soaked pancakes along with bacon and eggs. She pushed her food around as she looked at me. “You’ve been quiet lately. Everything okay?”

I drank from my mug of coffee as I stared at her across the table, thinking about Friday night. Unfortunately, I was born with a strange memorization ability, where I could remember everything as if it had just happened. So even though that night was ten years ago, anytime I thought about it, I could remember it with such acute clarity that it was raw. “Just got a lot on my mind right now.”

She continued to look at me, like she hoped I would elaborate. “Is it the boosters for the rover?”

I knew she wasn’t knowledgeable about the specifics of my work, but I thought it was nice that she tried to understand what I was working on. Any other woman I’d been with only cared about my money, not my work. “No. I’m going out with Ryan and some of his groomsmen on Friday night.”

“Like a bachelor party?”

“No. Just a get-together. Ryan isn’t really a strip club kind of guy.”

“That’s sweet.” She sliced into her pancakes with her fork and took a bite. “And why is this stressing you out?”

I still didn’t want to tell her what happened ten years ago. I had no idea why. She wouldn’t think less of me, and I felt comfortable telling her anything. But I guess I just didn’t want to relive it as I talked about it. “One of his groomsmen is someone I don’t care to see.”

She nodded slowly. “What happened?”

I stared down at my food and tried not to watch the replay in my head. “We used to be friends. We aren’t anymore. That’s all.”

Emerson must have picked up on my mood because she didn’t ask any more questions. She continued to eat and let the tension fade away.

For the first time in ten years, I was really happy, and I didn’t want my past to ruin that. I wanted to live in the moment with her, to appreciate every single second of what I’d found in her. “I’m sorry. I have a bad habit of letting things get to me.”

“You’re fine, Derek. I’m here if you want to talk. I’m just relieved that it has nothing to do with us.”


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